Kicking Kittens
by Amadaun
Summary: A painfully shy new student with a hidden past and an uncertain future arrives at Hogwarts. Can Snape keep himself from wringing her neck long enough to discover her secret?
1. Daylight

Disclaimer: I don't own any Harry Potter characters, nor anything else related to them. You can sue me, of course. That is, if you really want a handful of dimes and some _really_ old jellybeans . . .

***

"If cats could talk, they wouldn't." ~ Nan Porter 

Snape wasn't happy. Granted, this was not a new thing. Perhaps it would be better to say that he was in more of a foul mood than he normally was. It was a new year. That alone normally put him in a foul mood. In his opinion, there was nothing worse in a school than having students. Especially today's students. Fools, most of them, in his opinon, thinking they could get by on the miniscule amount of work they did, or luck, or the family name. Every once in a while you ran into a good one, but they were often overwhelmed by the flood of idiots. _Merlin's Bones!_ He snorted. 

_Really, though, where else could they go? _ said a slightly less jaded corner of his brain. Which, he had to admit was true. Far too many of the students were orphaned, left alone to fend for themselves in a world that was quickly becoming far too dangerous. They had to know, and they had to be strong. Unfortunately, one never knew if one was giving a potential Death Eater the knowledge that would kill even more. Not all Death Eaters came from Slytherin. No, there were always those who, disenchanted with their lives, sought more power. Absently, he wondered if any of his former teachers had known what they were creating. 

However, risk or no risk, it was the job of the Hogwarts staff to accept any who had the talent for magic. To turn one away was unthinkable. The Headmaster considered it almost a sacred duty. The children would come, and keep coming, no matter what they may eventually be. 

But if as if the seven years that the children spent here weren't enough, for some reason, Dumbledore had gotten it into his head that Hogwarts was going to start accepting young wizards who had graduated from their schools and wanted to continue studying for a time before moving out into the real world. Something like the wizarding version of the Muggle colleges. Considering how the real world was nowadays, he did agree with that idea. It was better than releasing a barely-trained bunch of seventeen-year-old wizards to fight in the upcoming war. But why did they have to come _here?_

The first; and, thankfully, only student this year was coming today. Unfortunately, Dumbledore said she was interested in potions. Which of course meant she would be his student. And he most empathetically did _not_ want some little child hanging around his dungeon. He had let Dumbledore know this, but the headmaster was firm. He recalled arguing with Dumbledore earlier that morning . . . . 

"Now Severus, this will be no different than having a seventh-year doing some independent research. She's only about seventeen." Dumbledore said soothingly. "She's been taught well, and she's a very polite young lady." 

"Taught well where?" Snape asked, annoyed. After hearing the news, he stormed into the headmaster's office, demanding an explanation as to why he needed to reteach a girl who apparently just hadn't listened the first time. Even after he had gone through her records and seen that she had passed all the requisite O.W.L's and N.E.W.T.'s, he remained annoyed. If anything, it made him more upset because he could find no reason not to allow her in his classroom. His mood was not improved when he was informed that she wasn't one of his previous students. The last thing he needed was a prissy Beaubatons student or one of Karkaroff's brood about. "Not at Hogwarts. And I don't trust anyone from the other schools. I only trust half the students from this school! How do you know she's not from You-Know-Who?" 

Dumbledore adjusted his glasses and leaned back in his chair. "She was orphaned at a young age by dark wizards." 

"Oh goody. So was Potter. And look how famously _we_ get along." 

"She's been with the Aurors since then. They didn't think she would fit in well with other children after what she'd been through." 

"Even better. A socially dysfunctional Auror-in-training who probably has instructions to drag me to Azkaban if I so much as move a toe out of line." He buried his head in his hands. "Now all I need is to hear that they've suddenly discovered Harry Potter's long-lost twin." 

"Severus." Snape stiffened. He knew that tone of voice, and none of the staff dared to argue with the headmaster when he used it. He lifted his head to see Dumbledore regarding him solemnly over the tops of his glasses. "She is coming here. It is the best thing for her. The world of the Aurors is based on suspicion, and for her-" He paused for an instant, looking thoughtful. "She needs to be here. End of story. And if you need any more proof, I trust her." 

And that had been the end of it. He could hardly argue with that anyway. After all, he was here only because of Dumbledore's trust in him. Snape played idly with the hem of his sleeve, his dark mood almost visibly hanging around him. When the first years came in, he nearly sent them into crying fits by glowering at them more than usual. He barely paid attention do the Sorting Ceremony, and glared furiously at the empty chair between him and Dumbledore. The roof could have fallen in on him at that point without him noticing, sunk in his black mood as he was. He worked himself up enough that the coming student could have been absolutely perfect and he still would have resented their intrusion. 

If Snape hadn't known any better, he would have thought that this was Dumbledore's subtle way at getting back at the Ministry for inflicting Dolores Umbridge upon them. That infernal woman was sitting on the headmasters other side, looking at the Great Hall with an expression best described as conniving. Defense Against Dark Arts teacher indeed! Fudge was basically declaring Hogwarts a police state by sending a Ministry official here. But, ha ha, they still want to come. One of your little Auror wards wants to come, despite the fact that Dumbledore's here. So there. Nyah. 

Snape almost cracked a smile at the picture of the Headmaster saying that to Fudge. 

Suddenly, there was a gentle tapping at the doors of the Great Hall. Smiling slightly, Dumbledore stood, cleared his throat, and called, "Come in!" 

With a creak, the great door swung open, revealing a black-cloaked figure. Silently, it moved into the room, shying away from the students who were trying to catch a glimpse of a face under the dark hood. The figure stopped in front of Dumbledore who grinned again as he said, "Welcome to Hogwarts, my dear." 

A pair of white hands disengaged themselves from the folds of the cloak, and, shaking slightly, threw back the hood. A rather pale, nervous-looking girl peeked out past a few strands of black hair that had come loose from a braided bun at the base of her skull. She glanced around the room, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. The girl made her way over to the empty chair between Snape and Dumbledore, looking more frightened with each step. 

_Oh, for Merlin's sake!_ thought Snape scornfully. _If you didn't want to be the center of attention, why did you arrive so late?_

As she sat down, Dumbledore explained to the students what she would be doing at Hogwarts. Out of the corner of his eye, Snape saw the Granger girl grinning like a fool. Oh yes, she _would_ be happy at the prospect of being able to hang around for a few more years. He yanked his attention back as Dumbledore turned to the girl and said, "Perhaps you could introduce yourself, my dear?" 

The girl seemed to grow even paler, if that were possible, but slowly stood and began to speak. "G-good evening, everyone. My name is Kerri Harper. Um . .since I'm as much of a student as the rest of you, I hope you will help me during my time here?" As her last few words came out almost pleading, Snape snorted. Kerri flushed and sat down quickly. "T-thank you . ." she whispered, staring at her hands as they clenched the table. Her eyes remained glued to the table all throughout the remainder of the meal, save for the few times she spoke to Dumbledore. 

Once the banquet was over, and the students had filed off to their respective houses, Dumbledore lead the new student over to Snape. "Miss Harper, this is Professor Snape, the potions master at Hogwarts. You'll be doing the majority of your studies with him. I understand you are interested in potions, yes?" 

"Yes sir." her answer was barely even a whisper this time. She stared at Snape with huge eyes. 

Snape glared back. "Miss Harper," he said curtly, "Speak. Up." 

Kerri bit her lip and said, only slightly more clearly, "Yes, Professor. I am." 

"Good, good," Dumbledore said heartily, ignoring Snape's annoyed growl, "Professor Snape and I will take you to your room now. Since you aren't really in any of the houses, we had to find you a room somewhere else." As he spoke, he began walking out of the Great Hall, Kerri obediently following at his heels. Snape rolled his eyes and brought up the rear, just catching the end of the one-sided conversation. " . . find it comfortable. The house-elves already brought your luggage there." The girl nodded, while Dumbledore warned her about such dangers/annoyances/surprises as the changing hallways, and Peeves, and the ghosts. 

"I-I don't really mind ghosts," Kerri spoke up suddenly. "There were a few back home . . . ." She trailed off and stared at her feet again, refusing to speak for the rest of the walk. 

Dumbledore turned down a hallway a short distance from the dungeon door. He pointed at the door at the end. "There's your room, my dear." As she hesitated, he gave her a gentle nudge, "Go on. It's not locked." Slowly, she walked up to the door and pulled it open. Over her shoulder, Snape saw a cheerily lit room with the usual four-poster bed and wardrobe. A few pieces of luggage lay on the bed, along with an enormous, fluffy cat. It greeted the girl with a throaty yowl, and several other noses poked out from under various surfaces. 

After a quick count, Snape pulled Dumbledore aside. "What in blazes happened to the 'one pet only' rule?" He whispered fiercely. "This girl has enough cats to supply a small pet store!" 

"She has no place to keep them other than here." Dumbledore answered quietly. "Everything she owns is at Hogwarts. Besides," He gestured at the girl, "They're her family." 

Snape rolled his eyes again, but had to admit that Dumbledore had a point. The girl finally looked like she was starting to relax as she greeted all of her cats. Besides the huge tabby on the bed, there was a calico emerging from under the wardrobe, a glossy black one on the bedside table, a gray one wrapping itself around her ankles, and a tiny bluish ball of fuzz that made a flying leap from on top of the wardrobe to her shoulder. He would bet his wand that there were more, too shy to come out. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat, and was immediately regarded by six pairs of eyes. "Your studies start tomorrow, so try to get a good night's rest. Come to my office in the morning before breakfast, and I'll show you about the grounds. Do you have any questions before you turn in?" 

The girl stared at the ground for a minute, and then asked hesitantly, "Um . . Is it alright if Willow, um . . " Here she pointed at the tiny cat on her shoulder, "If Willow comes to my studies with me, sir? He hates to be away from me." She bit her lip again and blurted, "I promise that he'll be no trouble! He's very quiet, and doesn't shed, and I . . I . .er . .feel safer when he's around . . ." 

Dumbledore held up his hand. "It's perfectly alright with me, as long as he doesn't disturb the other students. But you should really be asking Professor Snape. He is the one you will be studying under." 

Kerri looked as if she would faint at the very idea, but she turned to Snape and stuttered, "P-professor, may I have permission to bring Willow to my studies?" 

Now, normally Snape would have shot such a idiotic request down in flames without a second thought, but Dumbledore has already given his permission, and Snape never had been one for kicking puppies unless they deserved it. _Or kittens, as the case may be._ he thought sourly. Gritting his teeth, he muttered. "I see no reason to disagree with the Headmaster. But he is to stay away from _my_ potions, understood?The first hint that he is going to be underfoot or a distraction to the students, and both he and you are out of my classroom, is that clear?" Kerri nodded furiously. _Gods, she really _does_ look like a kicked kitten. . . _

"Thank you very much, sir." She dropped a curtsy, to Snape's surprise, without even dislodging the fuzz ball on her shoulder. Dumbledore smiled, wished her a good evening, and left. Snape nodded curtly at her, and followed. As they walked around the corner, Dumbledore sighed. "Severus, please try to make her feel a little more welcome? Can't you see the poor thing is absolutely terrified?" 

Snape glanced over his shoulder at the receding hallway and scowled. "Albus, you know me too well for that." 

"Hmmph." Snape looked quickly up at the older man and could have sworn he saw the tail end of a smile, but he decided not to ask. 

***

Kerri dropped down onto the bed. "Well. _That_ went well." She groaned as she flung her cloak into the corner. "What am I going to do, Willow?" She leant back on the pillows and buried her head in her hands. "I'm scared . . ." Rolling over, she looked at Willow and the big tabby, now snuggled together, and sighed. "At least I have all of you here." 

The little cat gave her a smug look, as if to say, _Of course. Did you think we would let you make a fool of yourself alone?_

"Little smart-aleck." She had planned to look around her new home for a bit, but the stress from the day suddenly struck her and she realized exactly how tired she was. Any exploration would have to wait until tomorrow. 

As she stood up to unpack and prepare for bed, she clicked her tongue against her teeth, calling the cats. Furry shapes emerged from their hiding places and scurried up onto the bed until there were seven in all. Absentmindedly scratching a few behind the ears, she pulled on her nightgown, and hung up her other clothing. She carefully picked up her cloak, returning a few items to its numerous pockets. 

About to lie down on the bed once more, she stopped, remembering something. She reached into her trunk, pulled out a tarnished picture frame. She held it for a moment, running her fingers carefully over the peeling gilt. 

"I'm here at Hogwarts now, Mom and Dad," she whispered to the two in the photograph. "I-it's very different. I feel a little lost. But I-I hope I can make you proud of me here." She rubbed at her eyes, brushing away the threatening tears. 

Hugging the picture to her chest, she set it carefully by her bed. Only then did she shoo a cat off her pillow while attempting to wedge her feet between the half-a-dozen furry mounds on her bed. She pulled the covers up to her chin and settled back into her pillows. "It's better than the Aurors, though . . ."she murmured before drifting off to sleep, cats already curled up and snoozing around her. 

***

_Author's Note: Just so you all know, Kerri is in no way related to Harry. I didn't realize that their names **rhymed** until the fifth chapter. And there is **no** way I'm going back to change it. Besides, I like the name Kerri. _

P.S. Please Review!! 


	2. I Turn My Face

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." ~ Missy Dizick 

The next morning, Kerri timidly made her way up to Dumbledore's office, Willow on shoulder. She tried her best to remember the way there, but, despite the warnings he had given her earlier, she was soon completely lost. The hallways seemed to be changing around her, and more than once she had gone up a flight of stairs, only to find herself exactly where she began. 

She stood in the middle of one of the more devious hallways, totally bewildered, when she heard a noise from around the corner. Hoping it was a professor, she hurried over. Alas, it was nothing of the sort. As she tuned the corner, she just barely dodged a bust headed for her head, but was not quite as lucky for the vase that went for her arm. 

She yelped in pained surprise, and looked up to see a squat little ghost grinning at her on the other side of the corridor. "Ooooh!" it cackled nastily, "Poor ickle arm! Poor ickle girl! Heeheeheehee!" It swooped closer to get a better look at the girl. She cringed and Willow dived for cover beneath her robes. "Don't know you. Too big for a firstie. Who're you, girl?" 

"K-k-kerri." She stared in shock at the little ghost. "You must be Peeves, the poltergeist." She'd heard of poltergeists. Most were mischievous. Some were vicious. She hoped fervently that this was not a vicious one, but given the grin on his face, she doubted she was going to be so lucky. 

"K-k-kerri." Peeves mocked. "Right on first guess, K-k-Kerri! What're you doing here, girlie?" 

Kerri took a step back and ran into the wall. _What now?_ "P-pleased to meet you, Peeves." As the poltergeist's eyebrows rose at her words, she hurriedly pushed on. _Maybe being polite will scare him off, show him I'm no fun to hurt._ "Headmaster Dumbledore invited me to study here, at Hogwarts." Peeves began to cackle at the prospect of fresh meat. _Or make him mad enough to create enough of a racket that someone'll notice. Great. This isn't going to work._ "I'm going to his office now." Hearing the desperation in her voice, he moved closer. Kerri screwed her eyes shut and sank to the floor, hearing the rattling of ornaments around her. _Oh gods. Not again._ She began to grope for her wand, a potion, anything, when she remembered that he was a ghost. _I can't do anything against him!_ She crossed her arms in front of her face in a vain attempt to protect herself._ Please, oh please go away . . . Please please please pleasepleaseplease . . ._

"Peeves." A sibilant whisper snaked through the noise of the rattling crockery. "I'll tell the Bloody Baron." Startled, Kerri's eyes flew open. There, at the end of the hall, stood Professor Snape, glaring at Peeves. 

"You wouldn't dare!" cried Peeves furiously. "You wouldn't!" 

"Watch me." 

Not even a ghost could stand up to Snape when he knew he had the upper hand. With a muffled curse and a rude noise, Peeves finally vanished. Kerri stared blankly at the spot he had been for a few seconds before her mind registered that he'd gone. She let out a breath that she hadn't realized that she'd been holding. 

Feeling his mistress relax, Willow emerged from her sleeve, looking very put out. "You were ever so much help." she hissed quietly at the blue ball of fur. 

Kerri dropped her head into her lap with a sigh, but then jumped again as she realized Snape was standing right next to her. She began to stammer a thank-you, but the words died on her lips as she saw his subtle sneer. 

"Do stop sniveling, Miss Harper. I can't stand that." He watched her coldly as she struggled to her feet, and then gestured for her to follow him. "I will take you to the Headmasters' office." Embarrassed and upset, she shuffled after him. Suddenly he spoke. "Provoking Peeves was a idiotic thing to do. And curling up like a child afterward was even more foolish. He's attracted to fear like a shark is to blood." 

"H-how long were you watching?" she stammered. 

"Long enough." Snape said grimly, and didn't say anything else. 

***

"Good morning, Mr. Potter. I see I have the undeniable pleasure of seeing you first thing every Monday morning." Malfoy and his little gang sniggered and Snape quelled the urge to use a full body-bind on the lot of them. _Must keep up the act, Severus,_ he reminded himself. _They're Slytherins, remember? Your_ favorite _students. Oh joy._ He never could deal well with fools. Not that he could stand Potter or Weasley much either. _Or at all._ "I simply quiver with anticipation of enduring yet another year with you in my classroom." he continued dryly. "Though maybe the threat of O.W.L.S. hanging over your heads may actually provoke some of you into working." 

A movement at the door caught his attention. Dumbledore poked his head into the classroom. "Ah, Severus. I hope I'm not interrupting?" 

A movement at the door caught his attention. _Gods, don't tell me that that Umbridge woman is already sticking her nose were she doesn't belong._ Dumbledore poked his head into the classroom, and Snape barely kept himself from sighing in relief. "Ah, Severus. I hope I'm not interrupting?" 

"Not yet. The class has just barely begun." Snape suddenly noticed the small figure behind the headmaster and silently groaned, relief evaporating. She must have finished the tour early. Dumbledore held the door for her and patted the fuzzball on her shoulder. She walked quietly into the classroom, staring wide-eyed at both the potions lining the wall and at the students. 

"Enjoy your first class, my dear." smiled Dumbledore. He nodded to Snape with a look that said, _Just_ try _not to scare her too much?_ and left, shutting the door behind him. 

"Well. What a bloody wonderful day this is turning out to be. Miss Harper, go stand back there out of my way until I have finished giving instructions to my class. We will discuss your future at that point." Kerri nodded and moved to the back. As he gave instructions for the potion-of-the-day, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, examining the bottles and jars on the shelves, hands carefully tucked behind her back. Willow remained perched on her shoulder, peeking out from her hood. If he hadn't known any better, he would have thought the tiny cat was studying the class as thoroughly as his painfully shy mistress was studying the walls. 

"The wormwood is not to be added until _after_ the potion has turned blue, understood? If the potion is done correctly, you should end up with a simple healing salve. _If_ it is done correctly, and _if_ you remember a thing from all of the previous years of Potions." The tone of his voice indicated that he sincerely doubted that either of the two were the case. He noticed that half of his students were subtly peeking over their shoulders at his new student and ground his teeth together. "Potter, kindly stop whispering with your cronies, a point from Gryffindor. I'm sure it is horribly interesting, but I am trying to teach a class at the same time, so if it is not too much trouble?" He glared pointedly, then turned at waved at the students to begin. Struck by a sudden thought, he turned back and pointed at the girl standing in the back of the room. "Miss Harper, come here." _This should be interesting._

She came over and stood there nervously, glancing over her shoulder at the students. Watching her fidget, Snape crossed his arms and wondered what he had gotten himself into. "Miss Harper, today you have a choice for what you may do. You may either aid the students in creating their potions, or be the test subject at the end of class." He eyed her as she continued to stand there indecisively. He sighed. "If I must spell it out for you, that means that you must either answer the student's questions or have your arm cut in order to apply the salve. Your choice." 

Kerri stared at him as if Peeves had suddenly materialized in front of her. _Yes, girl. You actually have to talk to the students. Let's see if that will pull you out of that shell you hide behind. _

_Talk to them? Talk_ to _them? He has_ got _to be joking. . ._ But one look at his face told her that he wasn't. _Oh, gods . . ._

Kerri glanced at a timid-looking boy who was staring miserably at the contents of his cauldron. She moved a little closer, and saw that, whatever he had made, the cauldron didn't hold anything that looked even remotely like a healing salve. She opened her mouth to say something, then clamped it shut as nerves overwhelmed her. _I can't do this!_ Her voice fled as she attempted once more to speak. _I can't! Not him! He looks like . .!_ She felt tears pricking her eyes and hurriedly spun around to face the shelves. She dug her fingernails into her palms as she fought for self-control. _I will not cry. I will not let them see me cry. Think of something else. I will not cry. . . _ She quickly began to go over the lessons she had learnt from the Aurors in an attempt to distract herself. _ Do not accuse unless certain, do not jump to conclusions - I will not cry, I will not cry - anyone can be an enemy, never let your guard down, be prepared for loss . . . NO! Not that one! . . . I can't cry here . . . Think of something else- potion components, think of properties . . Mandrake- for breaking curses, Scarlet pimpernel-for venomous beasts . . .Foxglove . . _

Slowly, her clenched fists began to relax, and she could no longer feel the tears threatening to come. She continued to stare at the wall, hoping desperately that it appeared she had been looking for potion components. She flicked a hair out of her eyes and turned around to glance at the boy's cauldron again. Just at that moment, a bushy-haired girl next to him leant over and whispered some instructions in his ear. With a hopeful look, he applied himself to the potion again, which after a few minutes, began to look more promising. The girl saw Kerri watching them and quickly mouthed, "Don't tell Snape!" 

Kerri blinked in confusion. _Why is she helping him? How can he trust that she's not giving him the wrong ingredients or something?_ Then she reminded herself,_ Kerri, this isn't the Aurors. It's a school. You don't have to be on guard all the time. Students know each other, so they help each other. I guess. How odd. They must have been though a lot together to trust each other so completely. Maybe this will be different. _

***

Snape rolled his eyes when he saw the girl cowering in the corner. _I can't believe this. She would rather risk bodily injury than speak to them. Longbottom hardly looks like he'll bite her head off. Idiot._ He rubbed his temples vigorously. A whole year with this girl, a whole year! He didn't think his nerves could stand another week. Why, oh why couldn't she have been interested in charms instead? Or transfiguration, or, better yet, astrology. She certainly seemed the type, and Trelawny was the only person he would wish her upon. Potions required a steady hand, not to mention a steady mind, and he couldn't believe that this girl hadn't blown herself up yet. 

Shaking his head, he yanked his thoughts back to the present. _Severus, you're letting her distract you from the class. It's your job to make sure that none of the _students_ blow themselves up._ He rolled his eyes again. _Prowl around the classroom, praise Malfoy, take points from Potter, loom over Longbottom, pretend you don't see Granger helping him unless she gets too blatant . . ._ It was a given pattern by now, every little step in place. Until now. Now he had a wrench thrown into the works. A wrench called Miss Harper. She remained ever present, hovering at the edges of his vision like a mosquito, until he felt like swatting her. _Breathe, Severus, count to ten, don't lose your temper yet. Potions are done, let her reap her reward now._

He swept to the front of the classroom and announced, "You have thirty seconds left to finish your healing salves, which hopefully is what you ended up with, although in some cases," he sent a withering glance towards Neville, "I wouldn't bet any Galleons on it. Come here, Miss Harper!" The girl jumped, and scurried to the front under his scornful glare. "Sit!" he ordered, pointing at his desk. She drew a shaky breath and hoisted herself onto the desk, staring at the floor. He couldn't help but notice that she was so short that the tips of her boots swung a good three inches off the floor. 

Snape walked through the class, examining the beakers of salve on each desk. Hermione's was impeccable as usual, most of the others were passable. He chose one at random and returned to the front. 

Setting the salve down on the desk, he turned to face the class. "Miss Harper has so _kindly_ volunteered to test the potions today," he said, sarcasm dripping from every word. He produced a thin dagger from his robes and grabbed Kerri's left arm in his other hand. He was about to roll back the sleeve when she whisked it out if his grasp, exclaiming, "Not that one!" 

He stared at her for an instant before he demanded, "And whyever not, pray tell?" 

She returned her gaze to the floor and muttered something about the bruise Peeves had given her on that arm, and not wanting another cut on it. Snape gritted out, "Fine, then. Your other arm? Or is that one about to fall off as well?" 

A pained expression flitted across her face before she rolled back her right-hand sleeve. Snape coldly took her wrist and made a small gash on her palm. He watched her face closely as he did so. Her fingers twitched slightly as the blade touched her skin, and at the first red welling of blood, she went deathly pale and began to tremble. _Don't tell me she's also afraid of blood! This girl is hopeless!_

"Miss Harper, this cannot possibly hurt that much. I am really beginning to wonder if this is worth all the trouble. Don't be such a coward!" Kerri's head shot up and for the first time Snape saw something other than fear in her eyes. She tore her wrist out of his grasp, choking out, "Don't _ever_ call me that!" The little cat, as well, was not the least bit intimidated. It leapt down to her lap and hissed at Snape, bristling all over. Snape merely took it by the scruff of its neck and returned it to Kerri's shoulder, ignoring the half-hidden grins of the Gryffindors. He then proceeded to meet the girl's angry eyes with his best glare until she reddened and dropped her gaze. 

Kerri didn't look up again until the cut on her palm was fully healed. She slid off the desk and moved to the side as Snape glanced at her scornfully. "Thank you for your reluctant help, Miss Harper. In fact, you were so helpful, I don't think I'll ever ask you again." He spun on his heel and flapped his hand over his shoulder. "Class dismissed!" 

As the students scooped up books and ingredients, Kerri slumped back against the desk, her heart beating hard against her ribs. She watched Snape as he stalked to the back of the room, reaching up to stroke the small cat on her shoulder. _While he's back there . . ._ "Willow," she whispered, "Are you all right?" 

"I would worry more about my own future if I were you, Miss Harper." A hand suddenly grasped her shoulder in an iron grip. Willow hissed and disappeared down her sleeve once more. She turned to look into Snape's eyes. His face an inch away from hers, he hissed, "Nice try, Miss Harper. You almost stood up for yourself. But all that you have proved to me is that you are completely useless." He stood back and sneered at her. "It even escapes me why you insisted I not use your left arm to test the potions." His hand snaked out and gripped her upper right arm tightly. She yelped as his fingers dug into the bruise Peeves had given her. "I said that I had been there long enough." He released her arm and stepped back again. "I have no more classes today. You will stay here and assist me for the remainder of the day, at which point, you will reexamine your priorities, and decide what you want to do." 

"W-what do you mean, Professor?" she stammered. 

Snape straightened and began to circle her like a shark. Too petrified to move, she stayed rooted to the spot as he stopped behind her. "It is quite simple. You may have escaped from it this time, Miss Harper," Snape breathed in her ear, "But if you wish to remain my student, you will actually be required to speak to others at some point, do I make myself clear?" 


	3. And I Musn't Give In

The next few weeks found Kerri very busy. Snape had decided that she would stay away from the classroom until further notice. Instead , she was put to work studying potion ingredients on her own, in the back room. She'd managed to learn the names of a few students here and there, but only a few. She didn't speak to them much. The other teachers accepted her by now, and had gotten used to her quiet nature. But not Snape. She worked as hard as she could, trying to impress him, but it made no impact on him. She noticed that he grew colder by the day, refusing to speak to her beyond curt orders unless she addressed him directly. She still sat between him and Dumbledore at the High Table, having nowhere else, but he never so much as glanced at her. She found herself often wishing she had not shown any defiance to him at all. Between Peeves and that, her first day seemed to have removed all respect he possibly could have had for her. 

On the other hand, she had actually managed to speak to a few students (most of whom had red hair) who were impressed by her little staredown. Granted, they also thought she was utterly insane, but they _were_ impressed. She had run into several of them in the library one day, at which point Ron, Fred and George had descended upon her. In loud stage whispers they began to congratulate her for "getting the better of Snape." 

"You really showed him!" 

"Putting you on the spot like that on the first day!" 

"Serves him right!" 

"The look on his face!" 

"But - but," Kerri stammered, as red as the boys' hair, "He got so angry . . and - and . . he's a _teacher!_" 

Two freckled hands slapped her on the back, nearly knocking the wind out of her. "Ah, that's not the point!" 

"The point is you did it!" 

"Stood up for yourself!" 

"Let him know where he stands, the slimy git!" 

"B-but I _didn't . ._" 

"Bully for you!" 

Hermione suddenly interrupted the festivities. "Stop it, you're embarrassing her! And she's right, Snape is a teacher. But not too many of us stand up to him," she said, turning to the flustered girl, "Snape really does pick on people like you a lot." 

This immediately launched the boys, now joined by Harry, into more congratulations. She began to get the distinct feeling that Professor Snape was not well liked. But still . . . 

"It wasn't worth it." she muttered, silencing the boys. As they stared at her in disbelief, she spoke again, a little louder , "It wasn't worth it. Professor Snape is my only chance at a future. I don't have anything left after this. If I blow this chance, I have to go back to the Aurors, and I don't want to do that. I can't do that. And if I just destroyed that chance . . .!" Stifling her outburst, she grabbed the book she had come for and fled. 

"Now what was that all about?" Harry wondered aloud. 

***

_Interesting,_ thought Snape as he watched Potter and his group leave. He stood concealed in the Restricted Section. He had been double-checking the correct properties of a certain poison, when he had overheard Miss Harper and the others. It appeared that she really wanted this opportunity. No, perhaps _needed_ was a better word. She desperately needed this opportunity to make her own life. Much like a certain aloof, bitter youth seventeen years ago. An opportunity he hadn't received. Snape found himself rubbing his arm and hurriedly yanked his hand away. No, she didn't really have the tendencies for _that_, but neither had he, at first. But if she didn't want to stay with the Aurors that badly, she could be tempted to aid the other side in some fashion, if only to escape. _Is that why Albus was so insistent on having her here? Is he trying to save the girl? Trying to make up for the failure in me?_

However, he had discovered another interesting thing. The girl would talk, at least she would if she got upset. Perhaps he could use that. His lips twisted in a bitter grin. After all, making people upset seemed to be his specialty. _I'll test her again, give her a second and last chance. We'll see what we can do with you, Miss Harper. _He glanced up at a large clock on the library wall. She should report to him in three hours to aid him in brewing a potion. However, he had another assignment for her now. _Yes . . Very interesting . ._

Snape swept out of the library. He would just pay a visit to the girl first, and see if she would be willing to participate in a little . . wager. He turned down the hallway leading to her room and knocked on her door. He heard a stifled gasp from inside and the door slowly opened a crack. When Kerri saw who stood on the other side, her eyes flew open in shock as she involuntarily took a step back. "It is so good to see how excited you are to see me, Miss Harper," he sneered. "Do you make sure all of your guests feel this welcome?" 

"N-no," she stammered, looking extremely flustered. "That is, I mean, I wasn't expecting anyone, and you seemed upset at me, so . . ." she trailed off, confused. 

"So you thought you would never be so unfortunate as to see me outside of class." Snape finished smoothly. He held up a hand to stall her protests. He knew that was not likely the case, but he didn't feel like listening to more of her stammering protests. "I wish to speak with you on your progress as my student." 

The girl swallowed hard and took a step back, extending a shaking hand. "Do you want to come in?" 

"If I have assurance that I will not be sitting on top of one of your numerous cats." he pointed at the gray tabby, once again lounging all over the bed. "And if you can manage to be in my presence, without looking like you shall be ill." 

"Yes sir." Kerri whispered. 

Snape rolled his eyes. "Miss Harper, I am afraid you must speak above a whisper, that is, if you are actually capable of doing so." The girl stared at the ground, and Snape forced himself to clasp his hands behind his back to keep himself from throttling her. When he finally spoke again, his voice came out as a hiss. "Miss Harper, you will look me in the eye while I am speaking to you." 

The girl nodded as she timidly looked him in the face. "My progress, sir?" she managed. 

"Miss Harper, you are, as the Headmaster said, polite, hard-working, and intelligent." He grimaced as though each compliment were ripped from him with forceps. "On the other hand, you are also foolish, socially dysfunctional, have little to no worth in the classroom, and have far too many secrets for your, or anyone else's, own good." He watched as the girl's face fell, and then continued. "You will most likely be sent packing within another few weeks. However!" Here he stalled another stream of protests. "However, I will give you one more chance in my classroom tomorrow. But only one. If you do not perform up to my expectations, you had best begin looking for another field of study." 

"Professor, please!" She suddenly reached forward and grabbed his sleeve, "Please don't send me away! I can't leave here! I have to stay! I have to. . ." Snape cleared his throat and looked pointedly at her hand until she blushed and let go, stammering an apology. 

"We will see, Miss Harper. I will excuse you from your duties tonight to prepare. And I expect you to prepare, as your future is resting on this. The class tomorrow consists of first-years, do not give them a bad impression, or you _will_ regret it" 

The iciness in his voice seemed to freeze her to the spot. She could only stare at him as he turned and left, closing the door behind him . As his footsteps faded away, she collapsed onto the bed, shaking. Her only chance rested on speaking in class? How was she supposed to prepare for that? How? She had to prove her worth to him, or he would kick her out. Realizing at that moment that she had somehow began to pace, she pulled her cloak off a hook and threw it over her shoulders. If she took a walk by herself, maybe she would feel better and relax. She let Willow bury himself in the folds as she looked out the window. It was a few hours before dark, a walk around the grounds would do her good. 

By the time she had made he way to the front door, most of the faculty and students had assembled in the Great Hall for dinner. She would have the entire grounds to herself for a good hour. Professor Sprout's gardens perhaps, or down the walk a little more, towards the groundskeeper's cabin. She placed her wand on the path and spun it. When it had stopped, she turned to head in the direction it pointed her in. Down the path. 

The late afternoon air was fresh and clear, with just a gentle breeze. She threw her hood back and pulled a few pins from the bun, letting her braid fall down to her hips. Her hair was such a bother to keep under control without charms, but she couldn't even imagine cutting it. It was the way her mother had worn her hair, at least according to her photograph. It was Kerri's way of honoring her memory. 

Suddenly Willow hissed, and scrambled down her back, interrupting her nostalgic thoughts (sharp claws in one's spine have a tendency to do that.) She glanced up to see a gigantic boarhound bearing down on her, tail wagging furiously. It came to a screeching halt at her feet and looked expectantly up (but not that far up) at her. She smiled slightly and began scratching the dog under the chin, as he drooled all the way down her arm. As her rubdown headed towards his ribs, the dog rolled his eyes up in pleasure and collapsed to the ground, presenting his stomach to her. She found herself giggling for the first time in who knows how long, and obliged. "Such a fine dog!" She complimented him. "You mush have a fine master as well, to own such a well-behaved dog as you." 

"Well! Thank yeh, miss." came a rumbling voice from behind her. She stared over her shoulder at a small mountain of a man, all bushy beard and smiles. Normally, he would have scared her out of her wits, but somehow, he made her no more nervous than the dog at her feet. _Well, people with lots of pets tend to get along well together._ She stood and, ignoring the neglected-sounding whimpers of the boarhound, held out her hand. "Groundskeeper Hagrid, I presume?" 

The man chuckled and enveloped her hand in his . "An' yer Professor Snape's student, Kerri, ain't yeh?" She nodded and he shook her hand warmly. "Yeh kin call me Hagrid. Yeh know," he added, pointing at the dog still rolling on the ground. "Ain't too many people not scared o' Fang at first. The way yeh were cowerin' at the dinner, I'da thought yeh'd be runnin' away." 

Kerri blushed. "I'm not too good with crowds. " She frowned. "Or Professor Snape for that matter. He's threatening to kick me out if I don't perform up to his expectations next class. He doesn't like me very much. He thinks I'm too shy, and too foolhardy." 

"Too - Oh!" Hagrid let out a great booming laugh. "Harry an' the others tol' me 'bout that! Snape didn' take it too well then?" 

"Not in the least." 

Hagrid patted her on the back, causing her to stagger. "Yeh got sprit, Kerri! But yeh got troubles too. I kin see that. What d'yeh say ter a spot o' tea up in my house, tell me 'bout it." 

Kerri nodded and smiled. _ At last, someone I can talk to._

***

After the third cup of tea and her first encounter with his treacle fudge, she finished her story, (at least, what she had been able to get out past the fudge) including the part about not wanting to go back to the Aurors. "So you see, things haven't been going so well." 

Hagrid leaned back in his chair and watched the two animals in his cabin as he thought. Willow sat on the table with a dish of cream, Fang a respectful distance away. The tiny cat had let the dog know exactly where he stood, with a quick swipe to the nose. They had reached a truce since then. 

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "seems yer life ain't no picnic right now. But Professor Snape's gotta lot on his plate too. But ye'll have ter ask him about that. My advice ter yeh right now is ter keep standin' up ter him. It takes a lot ter please Snape, so don' be upset if yer don' manage it on on'y the sec'nd try." 

"Does anybody really like Professor Snape?" Kerri asked, "_None_ of the students I've spoken to seem to." 

"That's cause yeh ain't talked to no Slytherins." he answered. "But Snape ain't really interested in bein' popular. It ain't one o' his worries right now. He fav'rs the Slytherins, 'cause their his house, o' course. But som'times I think it's all an act he's gotta keep up. But don' ask me any more 'bout that, 'k? Don' want ter be spreadin' rum'rs yeh know." He tapped the side of his nose and winked. "I r'spect an' trust all o' the teachers here right now, Kerri. So don' worry. Jes relax an' don' let him kick you out. Yeh kin do it." 

She smiled. "Thank you." Glancing out the window, she continued, "It's getting late. I ought to get some sleep before tomorrow. I don't know what Professor Snape might throw at me, so I'd better be ready." 

"D'yeh want me ter walk yeh back? It's gettin' darker by the minute." Hagrid offered. 

"I would appreciate it. I've already run afoul of Peeves once, and I don't really want to do that again." She held out her arm and Willow leapt to it, as she charmed her hair back into the usual bun. Noticing Hagrid's questioning look, she explained, "Keeps it out of potions." 

Fang bounded around in front of them as they made their way back up the pathway. When they reached the door, she scratched Fang behind the ears one final time and bid goodbye to Hagrid. "Now yeh jes keep out o' trouble, yeh unnerstand? All yeh have t'do is point out a few thin's they're doin' wrong, an' that should keep Professor Snape happy, 'k? An' yer welcome t' come back an' visit if yeh want. " Kerri nodded and dropped a slight curtsy before slipping back into the building. 

Avoiding any noises that could have been made by the poltergeist, she took the long way, and it was fully dark by the time she reached her room. All of her cats were clustered at the door, looking at her accusingly. She sighed. "Yes, I know, I wasn't here. Look, I took Willow with me, all right?" They still glared. "Oh. That's it. But I thought you never minded dogs." The tabby let out a yowl of exasperation and, with some difficulty, jumped up to her desk and yowled again. 

"What?" she asked, walking over. When she got closer, she saw a parchment letter lying on her blotter, sealed with wax. "Someone's been in my room?" she gasped, picking it up. The tabby looked like it was tempted to bite her for taking so long, but waddled back to the bed and collapsed instead. She turned to look at the cats, still holding the letter. They had gone back to their normal spots, looking quite pleased with themselves. _I guess this was it._

Pulling out the chair by her desk, she sat down to read the letter. There was no seal in the wax, but she recognized the neat handwriting as soon as she opened it. She saw it every day on the potion labels she had studied so thoroughly. _Professor Snape?_ she thought worriedly,_ Please don't tell me that he's making me leave anyway! _ She quickly read through the letter. 

_Miss Harper, _

Since you have decided to flee for a while, I hope you will find and read this 

before class tomorrow, as it will greatly inconvenience me if you do not. 

Please remember that this is your final chance. I will not allow you to remain 

as my student unless you obey my orders to the letter. The first years are able to 

cause more havoc than you and Longbottom combined. You will need to be ready 

for any and all events and emergencies. And if you so happen to cause any of 

these, I will make you sorrier than you have ever been in your life. 

Kindly remember this. 

Professor Severus Snape 

P.S. By "preparing" I did not mean "vanish and miss dinner." Do not do this 

again without leaving a note somewhere. You are still my student, and I am 

responsible for you, as you do not seem able to take care of yourself. 

Kerri sighed and dropped the letter on her desk. Professor Snape was as tactful as ever. He _really_ meant this. Staring at the letter , she laced her fingers together to keep her hands from shaking. _ Please, oh please, let me do well just this once! _ She ran over Hagrid's advice one more time. _Just relax,_ she told herself. _Hagrid trusts him. He can't be all that bad. He is trying to teach me. _ She took a deep breath and unclenched her hands. _If he hated me, he wouldn't have cared that I was gone or that I skipped dinner. He wouldn't be giving me this chance. I'll just have to prove to him that his faith in me is not unfounded._


	4. And the Wind Begins to Moan

The next morning, Kerri went down to the dungeons immediately after breakfast. Pushing open the door, she peeked in. Professor Snape sat at his desk, looking over papers. When she stepped into the room, he glanced up, expressionless. He motioned for her to set up the cauldrons, then returned to his grading. Kerri quickly laid out the cauldrons and the ingredients for the day's potion, which happened to be a levitation charm. _Hawk feathers, hazel bark . . . _just as she set out the last bottle, the first years crowded into the room. 

Snape set down his papers at once, beckoning to Kerri. She came over obediently, refusing to show fear this time. "Yes sir?" 

He glared down his nose at her. "You will be aiding the first years today. You will answer any questions I do not. You will obey any orders I give. Do you understand?" 

"Yes sir." 

He turned to start the class, stopped, and turned back to whisper in her ear. "And if anything suddenly takes off, be sure to catch it." 

She stared after him in shock. Had that been a joke? _From Professor Snape?_ That was . . odd. To say the least. Maybe he really had started to put up with her. _Or maybe he's just looking forward to getting you out of his hair,_ said another part of her mind. 

Then she didn't have time to worry about it as class began. The air filled with the spicy scent and shimmering vapors of the potions. A hand shot up amidst the steam and Snape looked at her. Screwing up her resolve, she walked over, praying her voice wouldn't shake. Fortunately, the question was a simple one. 

"Um . . Can I get some more feathers? One of mine blew off the table, and I can't find it." the little first year girl asked. 

Kerri looked to Snape who rolled his eyes and nodded. She turned to the girl, "Of course. I'll be right back." She quickly returned to the table and placed the feathers in the girl's hands. After she was thanked, she immediately walked back to her designated spot. She wiped her sweating palms on the sides of her robes. _I did it . . . I did it. . . I really don't want to do it again!_

"Miss Harper." She glanced up to see Snape, not surprisingly. "From now on, you have no excuse to keep from talking to them," he whispered, "But do not also assume that you have excused yourself for your earlier behavior, nor that you are safe from being sent away. There is still an enti-" 

At that point, he was interrupted by screams. Several first years and a cauldron were floating in the air. As if propelled by an invisible wind, they began to dart all over the dungeon. As they watched, the cauldron hit a table and spilled its contents across it. Chaos ensued. 

"All those still on the ground, exit the dungeon at once!" Snape yelled above the din, dodging a flying first year. "Do not touch anything!" Not waiting to see if anyone followed his instructions, he pulled out his wand and began aiming at the air-born students, administering a counter-charm. Kerri followed suit, standing by the door to herd them out. 

Suddenly a yell behind her caught her attention. The cauldron had made a swift about-face and knocked Snape's wand from his hand. She watched as he dived to the floor to avoid another pass. "Miss Harper, do you think you could assist me?" He spat out from his prone position. Shoving the last student out the door, she scooped up his wand and then had to dive for cover from a shower of broken glass herself. As the glass headed for Snape she yelped a warning a second too late. He managed to dodge the majority of it, but a few pieces caught the sleeve of his robe and ripped it to shreds. "Miss Harper!" He snapped, holding his hand out for the wand. 

Kerri froze. _No._ Her mouth worked soundlessly. _No._ She could not take her eyes away from Snape's left arm. _No. It can't be._ He turned to face her, anger in his eyes. _Not that._ She saw Snape speaking, couldn't make out the words past the roar in her ears. _Not them._ The wand fell from her nerveless fingers. _Not him._ She felt as if she would be sick. _Why didn't they tell me?_ As he walked toward her, she took one step back then another. _Why didn't they tell me it was him?_ She broke and ran, leaving the wand and a class of confused first years behind her. _WHY?_

***

Somehow, through her haze of tears, Kerri made it back to her room. Stumbling in, she landed in a corner, sobbing. Willow nuzzled her cheek, mewing in confusion, but she couldn't get a response out. The rest of her cats milled about her, but she ignored them as well. Slowly, at the touch if many cold noses, the keening sobs stopped, to be replaced with almost death-like silence. 

Suddenly, a swift knocking at the door scattered the cats. "Miss Harper! MISS HARPER!!" Kerri didn't move from the corner she was curled up in. "Miss Harper, open this blasted door at once, or I will do it for you!" A few seconds of silence later, the door flew open and hit the wall with a crack. Snape stormed in, his robes billowing about him. He slammed the door behind him and locked it with a quick spell. When he turned back, Kerri still had not moved. She stared at him with empty eyes. 

He grabbed her shoulders and dragged her to her feet. "Do you have any idea what you have just done?!" he roared. When she didn't respond, he continued, "You broke you agreement! You risked my life and that of the students when you ran off!" she stared vacantly of into space. He shook her and her eyes finally focused on him. Seeing the absolute terror in them, he stopped shaking her and hissed, "Damn it, say something, girl." 

She blinked at him like she had never seen him before. Her mouth worked for a few seconds and words finally trickled out. "Sorry . . ." she whispered. 

Furious, he tightened his grip. "No you aren't!" He thundered. "If you really were, you wouldn't cower in the corner like you do! You wouldn't allow my class to be disrupted just because you are too much of a coward to take action yourself! You wouldn't resort to subterfuge and lying to try and save your worthless skin! You wouldn't suddenly abandon everyone in the middle of a crisis! I cannot stand fools, I cannot stand cowards, and most of all, I cannot stand those who let themselves be hurt because they're too afraid to stand up and say something!" 

As Snape spoke, he could see hot blood rush into the terrified girl's cheeks. He watched as her fear slowly turned into anger. As he continued, he saw her stretch to the breaking point. But he kept pushing. Suddenly, she snapped, and screamed back in his face. "Shut up! _Shut up!!_ How dare you! You - you _Death Eater!!_" Her eyes grew huge as she saw the expression on Snape's face. But the words kept pouring out. "Yes, I know! I saw! They told me! They told me that there was a Death Eater at Hogwarts! They told me you and your kind killed my family just because we had Muggle blood! Don't tell me I was too young to know! I saw you! I saw my parents on the ground, not just dead, but torn to pieces, because you didn't have the decency to leave them alone! They told me I had to hide because the Death Eaters would come back and get me too!" Tears began to pour unheeded down her face and her voice rose to a shriek. "_How dare you!! You killed them, damn you!! And then you ran away!! You ran to Dumbledore because you couldn't face what you had done!! How dare you!!_" 

Snape released her arms and stared at her as she crumpled to the floor, sobbing. "How dare you . . Mommy . . . Daddy . . . How dare you . . ." She began to rock back and forth on her knees as she cried, wrapping her arms about herself. "They came . . . they came and the house was on fire . . . Mommy told Daddy to run . . I fell . . . They hid me . . . They wouldn't run . . They wouldn't run . . Mommy!" Snape shivered as Kerri's voice became that of a little girl's, wailing in fear, "Mommy, get up . . .Daddy, please . . . why is it all red? . . . no . . go away . . .please . . . no . . _nooo!!_ . . .please . . no . . ." Her sobbing rose hysterically. "Why didn't they tell me it was you? Why did you kill them? Why did it have to be you? Why?" 

Snape knelt down beside her and said forcefully, "Miss Harper, listen to me." Coming to herself, she took a great breath and Snape clapped his hand over her mouth. "Please just listen to me. I will not deny I am, was, a Death Eater. I will not deny that I killed for Voldemort. _But I swear did not kill your parents! I am no longer a Death Eater! Look at me, Miss Harper!_" 

She stared him straight in the eye and slapped his hand away. No trace of fear now, her gaze was laden with hatred. "I cannot believe you." she hissed venomously. "Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater." 

"Then what will you do now, Miss Harper? Go back to the Aurors?" He saw he had struck a nerve. 

"That's none of your business!" she snapped, avoiding his eyes. 

"I believe it is. You see, Miss Harper, the Aurors entrusted you to Dumbledore, who in turn entrusted you to me. If you do not return to them, you are required to remain here, as my student." 

She stood and glared at him, a sneer forming at her lip. "I am an adult!" 

"Then act like one! You know this is your only chance to make you own life. I'm giving you the opportunity that I did not receive! I had the same hidden anger and hate you do! With Voldemort back, who knows what will happen to you. You are still on his death list, just like all the other children who's parent they killed." His eyes narrowed, "Do not think you are alone in your pain. Look at Potter, at Longbottom! Go ask the Diggorys' who lost their son! Go look for a house-elf named Winky. She lost her master and his family!" He grabbed her chin and forced her to look him in the eye. "Don't you dare be so self-centered that you think you are alone in your loss!" 

She yanked herself away and walked over to the window. Snape watched her shoulders shaking as she fought to get herself under control. After staring through it in silence for several minutes, she spoke softly. "You wanted desperately to be rid of me before. Why, now that I wish to be rid of you, do you insist on keeping me here? I could leave now and you would never have to see me again. Why do you want me to stay so badly?" 

Snape crossed his arms. "I refuse to be wronged by you." 

She spun around, eyes flashing, "Wronged by _me_?" 

"You believe I killed your family. I did not, and have sworn as much, yet you insist on retaining this hatred against me. I refuse to let you leave until this matter has been cleared up." 

"Why do you care for what I think?" 

"Why do you care for what I was?" 

"Why shouldn't I?" 

Snape remained silent, staring at her. She strode over to him and faced him. "Let us compromise," she offered bitterly, "You and I will personally brew some Veritaserum, I will not trust any that you have previously made. I will administer it to you and then you will tell me the truth. And then, only then, will I believe you." 

"Veritaserum takes months to properly distil," Snape protested. "and if you do not trust me, why must I be there? Why can't you simply go and purchase some yourself?" 

She looked him in the eye, and her expression softened ever so slightly. "That way, we will both trust the other." 

"Why?" 

"You gave me a second chance," she answered, returning to the window. "I will give you the same. I do have a code of honor, unlike some people, " She turned, her gaze hardening once more. "And I refuse to stay in _your_ debt. Now, please leave. Please." 

Snape swept a mocking bow, "As Milady commands." Kerri didn't even twitch at the sarcasm. He turned to leave, unlocking the door. "Goodnight, Miss Harper." 

As he slipped away, he thought he heard her whisper, "Goodnight, Professor Snape," but he couldn't be certain. 


	5. Another Night is Over

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who's commented on my story. Thank you so much! Every writer needs encouragement to keep going, and you guys certainly help. Also, a big thanks to those who have added me to your "Favorite Stories" list. That's the way to build up a girl's ego! Thanks again! 

Okay, sunshine and happiness over, let's get back to Professor Snape. ^-^ 

***

"Miss Harper, you cannot simply parade into the Restricted section anytime you wish!" 

"But, M-madam Pince, I have a signed note from Professor Snape giving me permission to remove any potion books I desire." Since her bargain with Professor Snape, many of the teachers had noticed her slight change in attitude. She was no longer cowering in corners, actually speaking to people at times. Her anger against Snape gave her the bravery to speak up. She still could not deal with Peeves or large crowds, both of which sent her running, but she _had_ been congratulated for her progress by Dumbledore. "What's the problem?" 

"I'm supposed to fetch them for you if you're not a prefect. The books have many alarms and protection charms on them, and don't take kindly to someone paging through them. Even the seventh-years and some of the teachers allow me to find the books for them. You, as a student, must also." 

Kerri breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. She'd been afraid that the librarian wouldn't let her have the book. "All right. I need a book with instructions on the preparation of Veritaserum, please. The entire process." The librarian began eyeing her beadily, and Kerri hastened to explain, "It's the project that Professor Snape assigned to me. I need to start it as early as possible. Finding the ingredients alone will take me a week or two." 

Madame Pince nodded reluctantly and disappeared into the depths of the Restricted section. A few minutes and a lot of rustling later, she emerged carrying a large book covered with a thick layer of dust. "Doesn't Professor Snape have a copy of this?" she inquired. 

"I need one to study in my room. He won't allow his private collection to leave his dungeon, let alone enter my room." Kerri shrugged and attempted a weak grin. "I think he's afraid my cats will use it as a nest or something." She took the book from Madame Pince, thanking her, and added it to the stack already resting on the table. 

As she scooped all of the books into her bag, she heard footsteps approaching behind her. Turning, she saw a pale boy accompanied by two hulking brutes. They stopped in front of her. _Oh no . ._"Yes?" she asked, praying that she looked braver than she felt. 

"Harper," said the boy haughtily, "I've noticed that these last few weeks you've been around Professor Snape more than may be _healthy_ for you." 

_Oh. One of _these. _Don't show any fear._ Kerri raised her eyebrows and responded, "I wasn't aware that students were supposed to avoid all contact with their professors." 

"Only the students that are not up to certain standards." He looked her up and down. "And you certainly don't appear to meet them." 

A stab of anger shot through her. That was good, anger helped her forget her fear. "What standards might these be? The ability to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, perhaps?" 

The boy turned slightly pink and hissed, "I wouldn't say such things to my betters if I were you, _mudblood._ I know about your family, disgusting filth that they were." 

Kerri felt her knees starting to shake, but kept her voice as steady as she could. "Well, if I happen to run into my betters, I'll be sure to keep my mouth shut." 

"Watch it, Harper." The boy shot back. "You don't want Snape to get a bad opinion of you, do you? I could arrange something like that if I wanted to. Or something worse. I'd watch my back from now on." 

She regarded him coldly before slinging her bag of books over her shoulder. Turning to leave, she called back, "You're Draco Malfoy, aren't you?" When the boy nodded, she continued, "I'll keep that in mind." 

She shoved the library door shut behind her and breathed a sigh of relief. The two hulks behind Malfoy had looked like they were ready to make good on his threats right there and then. She was surprised that he hadn't approached her before now, the Malfoys were notoriously direct at letting people know where they stood. But, then again, most of them didn't have Dumbledore breathing down their necks. She hitched the book bag a little higher on her shoulder and started down to her room. She'd just ignore him for now, and keep her eyes open. He was just a boy, not too much of threat at the moment. She turned the corner and saw a familiar black-robed figure sweeping up the halls. _On the other hand. . . _

"Miss Harper." Snape greeted her. "May I speak with you about your project?" 

"Yes sir." Just because she trusted him about as far as she could throw him, it was no reason to be impolite in public. Besides, no one else needed to know about their discussion. "Do you have all of the ingredients?" 

"Most of them. I do not have a few of the rarer ones." He began ticking them off on his fingers as they walked down to the dungeon, a respectful distance from each other. "Extract of Moonlily nectar, Red Huentar Fungi, Basilisk spines," His lips quirked, "And of course, hen's teeth, just to mention a few." 

"Of course." _Don't talk to him. Just _don't _talk to him._

They arrived at Snape's office. He held the door open for her and she walked in without so much as a glance at him. Yes, she still hated him. Perhaps it had been a bit much to hope that it was something she would shove away into the recesses of her mind and forget about. All right, he had known there wasn't a snowball's chance in the seven hells of that happening, but it had made dealing with her so much more inconvenient. At least her blazing hatred seemed to have tempered a bit into more of a cold hatred. _Oh yes, Severus. That is _ever _so much better._ Kerri slammed her book bag down onto the desk, nearly toppling the potions that lay upon it. Snape developed an eye twitch. _I'm going to kill this hopeless excuse for a student. I will. Slowly. Painfully. Over hot coals._

She looked up at him from where she stood. "I want to get this over with as soon as possible, _Professor._ The less time I have to spend around my parents' murderer the better." Ignoring the glare he shot at her, she continued, digging her nails into her palm. _Angry, stay angry._ "Can we begin without the missing ingredients?" 

"Probably not." Snape crossed his arms and shrugged. "However, I must agree with you. The sooner we are finished, the sooner I can prove my innocence to you." 

"Or perhaps, the sooner your guilt is revealed." 

"That's it!" Snape slammed his hands down onto his desk. "Miss Harper, I _know_ what you think of me! You do not have to bring it up again every thirty seconds!" 

They glared at each other. It was Kerri who dropped her eyes first and muttered, "Fine." The reply sounded sulky to both of them, and they stood in silence for several seconds, waiting for the other to speak. 

Finally, Snape rubbed his eyes and said in an exasperated voice, "Miss Harper, can we at least try to be civil to each other? At the rate we're going, you're going to be the death of me." _Or I of you,_ he thought, but did not say. "I know we have our differences, to horribly understate the fact, but I am still required to teach you. If you can act anything other than hostile or terrified towards me, it will make both of our lives ever so much easier." He waited a few seconds for a response, when none came, he continued, "Tomorrow you will come with me into Hogsmeade, so we can purchases the missing ingredients, understood?" 

She nodded curtly. "May I leave now, sir?" 

He waved vaguely at the door and directed his attention to the papers on his desk. As soon as the door shut behind her, he collapsed into his chair. _Gods, it's not even Halloween yet! It's only mid-October! I won't have any nerves left in a week. A blubbering wreck in public, and a nasty, self-righteous bitch in private! I'm going to kill her!_

***

_I'm going to kill him! _ Kerri flung her book bag to the ground and slammed her fists into a pillow. _ How can he so infuriatingly self-righteous all the time? How can he act like there's nothing going on? _ She clenched her hands into claws. _ Bloody right, I'm going to be the death of him! What I wouldn't give to get my hands around that scrawny neck of his! "Anything other than hostile," my foot! He wouldn't be saying that if he were in my shoes! I will not obey his every whim like a newborn kitten!_

That decided, she suddenly stood and threw her cloak over her shoulders. "I'm going out." she announced. "I'm going to go see Hagrid. I'm going to miss dinner, and I'm not going to leave a note." She pointed at Willow. "I will tell the house elves to give you extra cream so that you will stay here without complaining. And after that, I'm going to walk around the castle, and I shall thumb my nose at Peeves if I run into him. _Goodbye._" She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. 


	6. Sound From the Pavement

*Warning* This chapter is where the 'fic really starts to earn its PG-13 rating. Maybe even leaning toward R. So, If you're offended by violence, blood, and/or suicide, be warned. 

Scared you now, haven't I? 

But really, this is where its going to be getting a bit more serious, and you might even get some answers soon. Maybe. *hides from readers who hate shameless teasing* 

***

As Kerri fumed her way out of the castle, she nearly collided with Harry, Ron, and Hermione at the gate. Hands on hips, she glared at them, anger still replacing her fear. "Why is it I run into you three every time I wish to be alone? Gods, I swear, the only beings in this castle more irritating than you are Professor Snape and Peeves!" 

The younger children blinked at her for a moment, stunned by her outburst, before Ron piped up, "Don't forget Professor Trelawny." 

The corner of Kerri's mouth twitched. "I haven't had the pleasure of encountering that particular teacher yet. I _was_ going to go see Hagrid before our unceremonious meeting." 

"Well, what do you know. We were just going there ourselves." Hermione laid a hand on her shoulder. 

"What a fascinating coincidence." Kerri commented dryly. "I shall have to mark this on my calendars." 

Ron shuddered as he and Harry steered her out the door, Hermione trailing behind. "You definitely need to get out more. You're even starting to sound like Snape." 

Kerri suppressed her own involuntary shudder of rage and glared at the boy. "If you ever say that again, I shall have to feed you to my cats." 

"Ho hum, another death threat," grinned Harry. "You'll have to stand in line, I'm afraid." 

"Well, I'm sure by the time it's my turn, you will have given me ample time to come up with a reason to throttle you." She couldn't help but shyly return the grin. 

Ron halted in his tracks, studied her face carefully, and then let out a victorious whoop, pointing at the grin. "See? See? I told you she could smile! Told ya she was human! Pay up, Harry!" 

_Pay up . . . ?_ As Ron began skipping in circles, Kerri pulled Hermione aside. "You wouldn't happen to know the terms of this bet, would you?" 

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, Ron said that he'd seen you smile before, and Harry didn't believe him. So they made a bet on it to see if you ever smiled again." 

"Oh, they did, did they?" _ I didn't realize I was that bad at it . . . _ She turned on Harry. "And what was this part about being human?" 

Harry looked sheepish. "Um . . well . . . I . . . er . . . I bet Ron that you were actually a golem." 

"A gol-! Why you -!" Forgetting every last trace of shyness, she lunged at him. Laughing, he dodged out of the way. Quicker than any of them expected, she spun on her heel and almost caught the edge of his robes. 

"Whoa! She's fast for an old lady, Harry!" 

"I'll show you old lady! Come here, brat!" 

"Ha! I think not, hag!" 

"Harry, watch where you're -!" 

*WHAM!* 

"Er- Sorry Ron, sorry 'mione. Yikes!" 

"Get back here, Harry!" 

"Not the glasses, not the glasses! I said I was sorry!" 

"Not good enough!" 

"Let go of my hair, Hermi-!" 

Suddenly, a pale hand clamped down over his mouth. The three on the ground looked up at Kerri, who was standing stock still, listening intently. "Wha-?" started Hermione, before she too was silenced. And then they all heard it. The crunching of boots on gravel. That in itself was not overly disconcerting, but whoever it was was trying very hard to stay unnoticed. Kerri gritted her teeth, looking like she was trying to decide on something, then hissed, "Move! You've got to get out of here!" 

At the sound of her voice the steps quickened, and they could see the gravel on the path a hundred yards away kick up, like someone had started to run. A voice muttered something and the air began to sparkle. Kerri's eye widened. "Bloody hells. _Move!_" 

The curse hit just in front of them, and Hermione, Harry and Ron found themselves propelled backwards into the bushes behind them from the force of it. When they had finally disentangled themselves from the leaves, they looked up just in time to see Kerri get unsteadily to her feet and take off running towards the path, yelling over her shoulder, "Get Dumbledore! _Get Dumbledore!!_" 

They dashed to the front door and yanked it open, hearing it slam against the outside wall as they ran inside. 

"It's dinnertime!" gasped Hermione, "They'll all be in the Great Hall!" 

Ron skidded to a halt. "We can't go in there, everyone'll panic!" 

They stared helplessly at each other for a second, then Hermione had an idea. "The house-elves, of course! They can take a message to Dumbledore without being noticed. Come on!" 

The three of them had never been in the kitchen during a meal. The house-elves were bustling about furiously, and it took even Dobby several precious minutes to notice them. 

"Harry Potter sir, Dobby is sorry he didn't see you, sir! But isn't Harry Potter and his friends supposed to be eating dinner? Why are they here?" The happy house-elf rambled on and on, with Harry trying desperately to get him to listen, until Hermione lost her temper. 

"Oh for pity's sake!" she snapped, and grabbed the next house-elf running by. Its small face wrinkled in annoyance when it saw it was her. "Oh, no time for that! I have a job for you!" At the word "job," the house-elf immediately lit up like a birthday cake, and began to bow. Hermione rolled her eyes. "Listen to me. I need you to take a very important message to Headmaster Dumbledore, understand? Tell him that someone outside just attacked the three of us and Kerri Harper, all right? And be quiet about it, we don't need the whole school panicking." 

The house-elf scurried off, and Hermione grabbed Harry's sleeve. "Let's wait outside the Great Hall, Harry. We can meet Dumbledore there." 

Harry shook Dobby off of his leg, and the three rushed to the doors of the Great Hall, just as Dumbledore emerged, with Snape, and oddly enough, Neville in tow. He motioned for the three to stay inside as he walked quickly by. 

Ron looked curiously at Neville, hissing, "Why're you going?" 

"I . . dunno!" gasped Neville, out of breath from trying to keep up with the Headmaster. "Dumbledore . . told me . . to come!" 

***

_Oh gods . . ._

It had been pure luck that there had been enough of a lull in the noise for Kerri to notice the furtive footsteps. At that moment, she knew that the day she had been dreading had finally come. The Death Eaters had arrived to finish the job. _Perhaps I shouldn't have mouthed off to Malfoy like I did._ She hoped that there was only the one that she had noticed or she was dead. With only one there was a chance. 

Praying that she wouldn't get the response from her wand that she had been getting all day, she pulled it out. But it was no use. It only fizzled gently when she tried to cast a spell. "Bugger, bugger, _bugger!_" she hissed. _The hard way then,_ she thought, fingering her potions knife. _ I'd better have enough strength for this._

She tried desperately to recall all of the training she had been given by the Aurors as she ran towards the invisible figure. Or at least, where she hoped the figure was. She didn't have to wonder long, though. 

A blazing hot curse flew through the air towards her head. She threw herself to the side, feeling the ends of her hair crinkle from the heat. When she hit the ground again, she felt something in her shoulder give way, and she let out a muffled grunt of pain. Looking up, she tried to see where the next curse would come from, but saw nothing. She felt a stab of cold fear in her stomach. _I'm going to die, aren't I?_ As she lay there on her side, her attacker finally threw off the charm that was cloaking him, and revealed himself to the light. 

It was a young man, not much older than herself, dressed all in black, holding a wand pointed right at her head. He laughed. It was not a nice laugh. 

She laughed too, then. Hysterically. "You think - I really - c-care?" she managed between the shrieks. "Death Eaters - n-never give - you a choice. You'll - just do - what I - haven't - m-managed to - all these - years." She stopped laughing then and shakily held up her left arm, revealing the smooth skin. "You s-see that? T-there used to be a gash almost to the bone there. I did it myself. I thought I could stop it all myself. But I couldn't, they saw to that." The hysterical laughter started again as tears ran down her cheeks. "Oh no, they saw to that. I tried, but my bloodless arm wouldn't let me! Hahahahah! Couldn't keep me and couldn't let me go! Ahahahahah!" 

Pale, the young man raised his wand. He hadn't been prepared for this, this maddened girl. He cast about for a solution and saw it in the forms of Dumbledore, Snape, and the very confused Neville, running towards them. "You see those three, girl? I'll kill them instead." His grin returned as she looked over her shoulder and cried out in horror. "I'll bet I get quite a reward for offing Albus Dumbledore!" 

Once again, he didn't receive quite the result he expected, as Kerri flung herself at his throat. A thin dagger flashed into her hand before slamming into his shoulder. The girl felt the thud as she connected and continued her rush, bearing him down to the ground. "Not him!" she snarled as she twisted the knife, feeling it scrape against the bone. "I won't let you have him too! Not Neville! Damn you, can't you Death Eaters just leave them alone?!" She stared at him wildly through her hair, tears now flowing freely. "You killed Mommy and Daddy, and they told me you got Mama and Papa too, but I won't let you have their son!" 

Painfully, the Death Eater scrabbled for his wand, digging it into Kerri's side. He hissed out a curse that slammed into the girl like a sledgehammer, but she refused to loosen her desperate grip on the knife. The young man growled under his breath and gripped her throat with her free arm until she gasped for breath. She released the knife then, to clutch at her throat. The Death Eater pushed her off of him and pointed his wand right between her eyes. At that moment, Kerri felt a spell tugging at her, and managed to pry away the man's fingers enough so that it yanked her away. The curse still caught her a glancing blow, opening a gash on her forehead. 

She landed on something rather bony, and an arm wrapped around her waist to steady her. Mind reeling from the curse and lack of air, unable to do anything but try to breathe, she hung on and stared at the man on the ground. 

Clutching his shoulder, the Death Eater stood and prepared to finish them off. Unfortunately for him, he only got as far as raising his wand before two Stupefy Charms hit him right in the chest. His eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed, twitching a few times before he lay still. 

Dumbledore, wand still out, walked over to the crumpled form and nudged it a few times with his toe. When there was no response, he relaxed and turned to a _still_ horribly confused Neville. "Thank you, Mr. Longbottom. You did exactly what I hoped you would do." 

Catching her breath then, Kerri moaned and weakly lifted her head. Seeing Snape glaring down at her, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back. "I've died and gone to hell." 

"Ha very ha, Miss Harper. You realize, of course, this was entirely your fault. Had you been at dinner like you were supposed to be . . ." He trailed off and eyed her coldly. "I hope you're feeling sufficiently independent. If you weren't bleeding so badly, I'd slap you." 

"Well, if you'd stop spinning, I'd do the same to you," she retorted, feeling queasy when she opened her eyes again. She felt something running down her face. Realizing with a sickly start that it was blood, the ground lurched under her feet and she clutched at the arm supporting her. _Gods, no . . ._ "I don't feel so good." 

"I'm not surprised." Snape looked at his stained robes in distaste. "I didn't think you had this much blood in you." Looking critically at her skin, which was starting to look bluish, he scooped her up in his arms and pressed his hand against the wound on her side, ignoring her hiss of pain and weak plea that he _please_ stop talking about blood. "I sincerely hope you've learnt your lesson." 

Her feeble struggles and insistences that she was to be put down ceased when Dumbledore and Neville came up behind Snape. Brow creased with worry, Dumbledore inspected her. "You'd better take her to the Hospital Wing at once, Severus." He brushed her hair out of her eyes, "You handled yourself very well in protecting Hogwarts, my dear. We three thank you." 

The look on Snape's face suggested that he did nothing of the sort as he started off to the Hospital Wing, but Kerri didn't notice. She glanced at the worried-looking boy beside Dumbledore and a slight smile touched her lips. "He didn' get you, Neville . ." she mumbled, slipping into unconsciousness, "At least he didn' get yo- . . ." 


	7. The Old Days

Before we begin, I'd like to apologize for how long it took me to write this update, short as it is. *begs for forgiveness* I had way too much schoolwork to do to fufill all of my obligations. It probably won't happen again until mid-terms. (One can only hope . . .) 

Also, this chapter contains a lot of Snape OOCness, but don't worry, next chapter he'll be right back to his normal, nasty, sarcastic, cruel self. (You know, the personality we all love! ^_^) 

"Serverus, really, someone else can look after her." Dumbledore patted the younger man on the shoulder. They were sitting in the Hospital Wing a few beds away from the still-sleeping Kerri. It had been nearly a week since the attack, and she had not stirred. Madame Pomfrey could come up with no explanation for her lack of consciousness, and if it weren't for Dumbledore's gentle insistence that she would indeed awaken, one would think she was in a coma. "You don't need to blame yourself . ." 

"I most certainly do not blame myself, Albus! I blame her!" Snape almost yelled at the headmaster. Realizing how he sounded, he took a deep breath to calm himself and continued quietly. "All right, I admit I feel slightly responsible for what happened to her. I am her teacher, no matter what my personal opinion of her is, and I should have made sure she didn't try to get herself killed. But," he paused and pointed at the sleeping girl, "_That_ is not why I am still here in the infirmary." 

"Oh?" The headmaster raised his eyebrows bemusedly. "And what _is_ the reason?" 

"The reason is that she's got a lot of explaining to do, and I want to be here when she wakes up so I can get some answers!" 

"I see. And why don't you simply ask me now?" 

With a sigh, Snape leant back in his chair. "Albus, you and I both know that getting a straight answer out of you is about as likely as Potter suddenly deciding that I'm his new best friend. It's easier to wait a while and get them out of her." 

"I see." Dumbledore repeated, looking thoughtful. "That is usually the case, but given the recent developments, I believe you have the right to know everything that is my right to tell you." 

Snape blinked. This was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, definitely not something to pass up. "So?" he asked cautiously. 

With twinkling eyes, Dumbledore answered, "So, what?" 

"Albus!" 

"All right, all right, I'm sorry, Severus. I'll get down to business now." The smile suddenly faded from his eyes and he let out a deep sigh. "Miss Harper's parents were killed by Death Eaters when she was very young, which I'm sure you already know. They died in a very . . . bloody fashion." A shadow crossed his face and he paused for a second before continuing. "After the attack, the Aurors found her in the remains of her house and took her in. They could find no surviving relatives to care for her, and her young mind was in shock, so they kept her. 

"Eventually, she recovered, though obviously not entirely. An experience like that does not simply dissolve without any scars." Snape winced. He'd had plenty of experiences like that. Most of those painful memories had faded away, leaving only a dull ache. Some, however, remained ever fresh in his mind, waiting for a word, a gesture, that would recall them with a stab of fresh pain. Like now. He stared down at his hands as images flashed through his mind. _How strange that the hands that can brew potions to heal any wound can also have caused so much pain . . . Pain that I could have prevented . . . I wonder if I could have saved her parents . . . I wonder who they were. . . _For the first time, he felt a slight twinge of sympathy for the girl. 

Realizing that the headmaster was watching him silently, he composed himself. "I'm sorry, Albus. What were you saying?" 

Dumbledore shrugged. "There's really not much more I can say. The Aurors kept her on a short leash until now. She begged them to allow her to come to Hogwarts so she could study potion-making. They let her go, on the condition that she not go anywhere else without either their permission or a trusted chaperone." 

"Sounds like they trust her about as far as I do." Snape muttered dryly. "You wouldn't happen to know why?" 

With another shrug, Dumbledore put on his best innocent expression. Snape groaned. He wasn't getting anything out of him on this subject, no matter how hard he tried. _Perhaps a different subject._ After a moment's thought, he asked, "What about Longbottom? Why did you bring him with us during the attack? He isn't someone I would have chosen for backup." 

"Miss Harper knew Mr. Longbottom when she was younger." 

Snape nodded. That made sense. Longbottom's parents had been Aurors after all, before they had been subjected to the Cruciatus. "But why take him along?" 

Dumbledore wagged his finger at Snape. "Patience, Severus. I was getting to that." He began looking thoughtful again. 

After a few seconds, Snape cleared his throat. "Well?" 

The innocent expression returned in full force. "Well, what?" 

"_Albus!_" 

With a chuckle, Dumbledore adjusted his glasses. "I'm just teasing you, Serverus. No need to get so uptight about it." 

"I'm always uptight. Now _please_ answer the question." 

"If you grovel like that, how can I resist?" He turned to look at the sleeping girl. "Actually, there's not much more for me to tell here either. You'll have to ask Miss Harper for the details, but I can tell you that she was very protective of him even then. A big sister-little brother relationship, I guess you could say. They hadn't seen each other since his parents were admitted to St. Mungo's. " 

"So you hoped that her sense of responsibility for him would spur her to fight." 

"Exactly." The headmaster stood and stretched. "Well, I'd best be going. I've got some work to do. There's a staff meeting today." Seeing the annoyed look on Snape's face, he smiled. "Don't worry, Severus. You're excused. We're only talking about the Halloween Feast anyway." 

"What about it?" Snape asked, curious. "That feast's been the same since I was a student." 

"I know. That's why we wanted to try something different this year. I'm putting out the idea of a masquerade ball." A mischievous grin crossed his face. "Costumes, masks, a nonrecognizable charm on the Great Hall, that sort of thing. Should be loads of fun." 

Snape grimaced. "Joy of joys." The things that the headmaster came up with…. The costumes and masks were bad enough, but a nonrecognizable charm would make things even worse in his opinion. Also known as the "Strangers in the Night" charm, it was usually used for wizardly costume balls or on Halloween. the charm in place, someone could be talking to their own mother and never know it. Many wizards felt that it lent an air of mystique, Snape felt that it lent an air of helplessness. It was easily breakable in certain circumstances, to guard against it being used as Dark Arts, but he still disliked the idea that his worst enemies could be right next to him and he would have no idea. But who was he to argue with the headmaster? "Loads of fun." he echoed weakly. 

"Of course!" Dumbledore's smile got even wider as he began heading out the door. 

"Albus?" Snape suddenly asked, "Do you know why that Death Eater came to Hogwarts? Why he attacked Miss Harper?" 

Serious again, Dumbledore looked off into the distance. "Miss Harper had a little confrontation with Mr. Malfoy in the library a while back. I suspect that he told his father about it. I'm sure you can figure out the rest." 

Frowning, Snape said, "But why send a Death Eater? That seems like overkill for just one girl, but it's nowhere near enough to mount a real attack. The Death Eaters aren't that stupid, especially now that Voldemort's back. He's not like Lucius. He wouldn't waste precious men by sending them to Hogwarts." 

With a sigh, Dumbledore tapped his fingers against the handle of the door before opening it. "I don't suppose we'll ever know. But now at least we have warning, and we can take care that it does not happen again." 

Snape watched Dumbledore as he began to walk off. _He knows why. He knows why, and he doesn't want to say. How much else does he know?_

Stopping in the doorway, the headmaster looked over his shoulder at the younger man. "Oh, and Severus?" 

"Yes?" 

"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone that you're worried about Miss Harper." 


	8. Let the Memory Live Again

Since I know everybody reads these Author's Notes, I'm including a plea for help in this one. No, not professional help. We already know I need that. *clears throat* Anyway, I need help thinking up names for Kerri's cats. If you have any ideas, please e-mail them to me, or leave a suggestion in a comment. Just in case you don't remember all the cats, there's the giant gray tabby, a calico, a "glossy black one," and another gray one. There's also two that I haven't really come up with yet, but one's a motherly white cat. The other's open for suggestions. Finally, there's a soon to be introduced, high-strung, tortoiseshell, female cat. So, if anyone has ideas for names let me know! I'll give you credit when they're used. Thanks! *bow, scrape, grovel* 

Also, more answers this time too! It's also going to be my obligatory "feel-good" chapter, so if happiness (and/or Snape trying his darndest to destroy said happiness) isn't your thing, I promise it'll get darker and nastier later. In part, at least. 

"Uhhh . . . Gods . . Feel like hell . ." 

"Well, you certainly look it, Miss Harper. And unfortunately for you, I'm not here to help that. You have a lot of explaining to do, and I'm not leaving until I hear all of it." 

Startled, Kerri reached for her bed curtains - only to find they weren't there. A quick check revealed that there were no cats on the bed either. "Where-?" she asked, confused, before she remembered what had happened. That explained why she was all bandaged up. And why her head was pounding. She groaned. That also meant that the voice she had just heard wasn't a nightmare. She opened her eyes, squinting in the bright light coming through the Hospital Wing window and just barely made out a thin form bending over her. "Go 'way." 

"No, I don't think so." Snape smiled sardonically. He was still annoyed at Dumbledore for being so certain that he was actually worried about the girl. _Worried about my reputation as a teacher, maybe. Worried about a legion of Aurors marching over to Hogwarts to string me up, certainly. Worried about_ her_, not in a thousand years! _ "I've waited a week for answers while you've been sleeping, and Madame Pomfrey is only going to give me so much more time. Besides," He leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. "You're still too weak to put up much of a fight. So I want to hear the whole story now." 

"The whole story?" asked Kerri cautiously, knowing he was right about her being too weak. "What story?" 

"Don't play dumb with me, Miss Harper. I want to know why you so desperately don't want to return to the Aurors, why a Death Eater came to Hogwarts to get you, why your personality is so screwed up, what your relationship with Longbottom is, and also about that." He pointed to her left arm and smirked. "We're not hiding any odd _marks_ or anything, are we?" He expected her to explode over that last comment, but she remained silent. To his shock, he saw a tear roll down her cheek. _Blasted girl. Why can't she keep the same personality for more than a day? _ "Well?" 

"I-" Her voice came out as a squeak and she started again. "I don't remember much from when I was young. But I can tell you what I do know. 

"When I was about three or four years old, Death Eaters came to my family's house. My parents hid me in a closet when they came, so I didn't see much. The Death Eaters fought with my parents. I could hear the yelling. It scared me, so I crawled as far back into the closet as I could. Suddenly, they started cursing anything in sight. The house was in flames in no time at all." Part of her brain hissed, _Why are you telling him this? It's_ Professor Snape,_ for Merlin's sake!,_ but she kept talking, despite her mind's protests. "I only survived because my mother crawled into the closet to shield me with her body. She was ripped apart by the curses, my father too. As for me, I was burnt, bruised, but more or less in one piece." She clenched her left fist. "My arm, however, was hexed right off. They never did find it, so the one I have now is false. Made entirely of magic." 

Snape stared the smooth skin of her hand. If it was fake, the Aurors certainly made a good job of it. He could see a pulse thrumming softly underneath the skin. The knuckles of her tightly clenched fist had even turned white. Kerri's lips twisted in a bitter smile. "Looks real, doesn't it? I didn't know it was fake either until I tried to . . ." She broke off and bit her lip. "Well, I'll get to that later. 

"Someone found me under what was left of my mother's body and brought me to the Aurors. Apparently, I was a total wreck. That's why they kept me. It was over a year before I could do anything other than curl up in a corner and shake. Slowly, very slowly, I got better. I think they would rather I hadn't." The smile vanished. "I never knew why. I was like a secret that they didn't want anyone to know. And so I lived with them for fifteen years like that: encouraged to be neither seen nor heard. But not by everyone." 

The words started coming faster. She knew she had begun babbling, but she couldn't help it. She needed to let someone know, even if it was Snape. "There were two who cared for me. An Auror and his wife. I called them Mama and Papa. They cared for me, because no one else did. They were the ones who coaxed me out of my catatonic state. They even let me meet their son once. He was the only person close to my own age I ever saw before coming to Hogwarts. None of the others let me near their children. But Mama and Papa were different. They were so kind to me. So kind. Then one day they didn't come to see me. The others told me that they were never coming back. That the Death Eaters . . . Oh _Gods_ . . ." Her voice caught in her throat and she wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her head in her lap. "_Damn_ them . . " 

She started to cry then, loud sobs that shook her slight form. Snape sat there, waiting for her to control herself. When she had finally cried herself out, he asked quietly, "They were Longbottom's parents, correct?" Kerri nodded, unable to speak, and he continued, "Why were you not allowed to be with those your own age?" 

She shrugged, still on the brink of tears. "Probably for the same reason the rest of the Aurors didn't want to be around me either. I often wondered about that. For the longest time I thought it was because my power is so unpredictable." Her bitter smirk returned. "I can only manage the most basic of spells like my hair charm some of the time, and it used to go completely out of control. What little of it there is. At least, that's what they tell me. Now, my power seems to come and go. That's why I don't usually use my wand." 

"And why you ruined a perfectly good potions knife on the Death Eater when a Stupefy charm would have done the trick." She managed to look almost embarrassed as Snape withdrew the aforementioned knife from his robes and offered it to her. "It didn't clean up very well. Pity you can't use sharpening charms on these things." he added, glancing at the nicks along the rather dull blade. "Perhaps 'perfectly good' was a bit of an overstatement. But then, most of them weren't made for self-defense." 

Kerri took it from him and laid it on the bedside table muttering a reluctant "Thank you," before she continued. "As I was saying, at first I thought they didn't want to be around me because of my instability, but later I decided it was because they didn't think I was entirely . . . stable, and my powers were just a convenient excuse. Especially after Mama and Papa didn't come back." Her voice sank to a whisper. "When they told me that they had - that they weren't coming back, I felt so empty. Like I'd been orphaned all over again. So, I - I tried to kill myself. By slitting my wrists. That's when I found out my arm wasn't real, when it didn't bleed. It looks the same the whole way through, as if it were made of plastic. They caught me before I could try the other one. After that, I couldn't make myself care enough to try again. I think they put a spell on me to make sure of that." She glanced up and saw that Snape was frowning at her. For some reason, the expression on his face hurt her more than anything else she'd been through recently. "What? Are you going to shun me now too?" 

The helpless look on her face reminded him sharply of himself at that age, and he quickly dove back behind his shield of bitterness and sarcasm to kept the memories from surfacing again. "Oh, don't be a bloody nit, Miss Harper. And stop feeling sorry for yourself. Do you really think that I have any right to hate a student because of her mental status? We're all a little insane by now. No, you've given me plenty of other reasons to hate you." 

The last comment pierced through her shell of self-pity and dredged up her earlier anger. "Bite me." 

Snape's frown deepened and he leant forward until he was only an inch away from her face. He caught her chin in his free hand, having learnt by now that that was the only way to make her pay attention at times like this. Staring into the girl's startled eyes, he hissed, "That's not something a kitten should ever say to a snake. Especially one that saved your rather worthless life. Watch your tongue, Miss Harper." Retuning to his chair, he remarked, "I often wonder what I did to get you as a student. Why, in Merlin's name, did you have to be interested in potions?" 

To his surprise, the girl answered his rhetorical question. "Potions is one of the few things in this world that I can rely on. It's like math. If you follow the recipe correctly, it always works. Nothing else does . . ." She blushed and fell silent when she realized that she was speaking aloud before quickly changing the subject, "Er . . You said I've been asleep for a week?" 

"Yes. It took a while for even Madame Pomfrey to build your strength back up after your escapade." He smirked. "However, the way you've been babbling, I think she still has a ways to go." 

"Miss Harper," Madame Pomfrey stuck her head in the door. "You have some more visitors. Do you feel up to talking to them?" The tone of her voice clearly said that all visitors should be banished from Hogwarts, but Kerri nodded tiredly. 

"Yes, please, I'd like to see them." When the nurse ducked out of the room again, Kerri glared rather pointedly at Snape. "Will you -?" 

"No." Snape interrupted. "I think not. I, for one, have grown sick of the way I have been treated lately. If you're as much of an _adult_," he sneered the word, "As you say you are, then act like one for once in your life, Miss Harper. Most mature wizards and witches try not to jump to conclusions. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'innocent until proven guilty'?" 

"Er . . . Are we interrupting?" Harry cast a nervous glance over at Snape, who continued to glower in the corner. 

"Oh, no, of course not!" Kerri quickly reassured him before sending her own glance at the sour-faced man. "Professor Snape was just leaving, _right_?" 

"Wrong." Snape answered curtly. He settled back into his chair and crossed his arms. He glared as Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Hagrid filed into the infirmary. The children moved rather conspicuously to the other side of the bed, away from the professor. Beneath the combined disapproval of Snape and Madame Pomfrey, the planned cheering-up withered rather quickly. Instead, Kerri faced four worried faces. 

"Don't look so down, I'm still here, aren't I?" She attempted a smile that seemed fake even to her. 

"Despite your best efforts to the contrary, it would seem to be so." The cruel, silky voice behind her grated its way up one nerve and down the other. She forced herself to keep the horribly false smile, despite the pain it caused her. After all she had told him! _How can he be so cruel?_

Thankfully, Hermione spoke up then, before Kerri could whirl around and give him a piece of her mind. "Kerri, why was that Death Eater here? Why did he attack you?" 

Kerri looked down at her hands. "M-my parents were killed by Death Eaters. I'm j-just some unfinished business they still need to clear up." She bit her lip against the tears. "Lucky me." she whispered bitterly. A thought struck her then and she glanced up. "Is Neville all right?" 

Hagrid smiled kindly. "He's jes' fine, Kerri. Jes' a littl' shook up. He doesn' like blood very much, sets 'is stummach on edge ye know. But he's right as rain now." 

"W-what about the Death Eater? I-is he g-gone?" Her voice began to acquire a hysterical edge again. "Oh, please say he's gone." 

Hagrid reached down and patted her clenched hands gently, causing the whole bed to shake. "Dumbledore 'imself had 'im shipped off a while ago. Oh, an' I've had a few o' the house elves look after yer cats. Woulda done it meself, 'cept they make me sneeze. The cats, that is, not the elves. Ye don' need ta worry about nothin', Kerri." He straightened suddenly. "That reminds me. I got sumthin' for ye." He began to dig through his voluminous pockets. "I know I had that jes' a moment ago." 

A few minutes later, after Hagrid had placed two chocolate frogs, a ball of twine, a handful of suspicious- looking pellets, a seashell, five river stones, a pocket watch, a bundle of young carrots, a scrap of fur, and assorted pocket change on the bed next to Kerri's, he extricated a twig with an impressive-looking feather tied to the end, and Willow. The gray ball of fuzz was received with great delight, and he quickly clawed his way up to his usual shoulder before washing himself furiously. Hagrid grinned again. "He snuck outta yer room, lookin' fer ye. Fang found 'im and brought 'im to me." 

Kerri smiled gratefully and pointed at the stick. "What's that?" 

The grin on Hagid's face threatened to bisect his head. "It's a toy for yer cats. I . . er . .had Professor Flitwick charm it for ye. It'll move around on its own." He demonstrated by wiggling the feather in front of Willow. The little cat stopped washing, and began to track the feather with his eyes. Hagrid released the end of the stick, but the toy remained suspended in the air, flicking back and forth. Willow pounced, missed, and turned a somersault down his mistress's chest. Not discouraged in the least, he continued to chase it up and down the bed. "It's also gotta Durability Charm on it, so it doesn' get ripped apart." 

Kerri threw her arms around Hagrid's neck. "Thank you so much! It's the best present I've ever gotten!" Hagrid blushed and muttered about it being nothing, but everyone could tell he was pleased. He continued to grin and mutter as he refilled his pockets, and gestured at the bed side table. "Yer friends brought ye some stuff too." 

_My friends . . . _ Kerri glanced down at the small stack of candy sitting invitingly by her elbow and felt tears threatening to spill. "I-I . . ." 

"It's a thank you present," said Ron proudly. "If it weren't for you, we'd all probably be in the infirmary too." 

"Or worse." added Harry. 

Kerri looked up, eyes shining. "_Thank you._ I-I-I don't know what to say." 

The four well-wishers smiled and Hagrid spoke for them all. "Aww . . . T'warn't nothin'." 

Madame Pomfrey clapped her hands. "I hate to break this up, but _my_ patient needs _her_ sleep. You can all come back tomorrow." She began to push them towards the door. "You too, Severus." 

"In a moment. I need to speak with _my_ student about the assignments _she's_ missed," the cool voice behind her announced. Kerri blinked. She'd forgotten that Snape was even there. 

"Oh all right. But only for a few more minutes." She continued to shoo the others out despite their protests. 

She had almost gotten them all out of the room before Hagrid stuck his head back through the door. "By the way Kerri, don' ferget to thank Professor Snape for the feather. It's from 'is potion stores." 

"What part of 'go away, she needs to sleep' don't you understand? Now scat!" Chuckling, Hagrid scatted, Madame Pomfery close behind him. 

Kerri turned around to stare at Snape in surprise. "What?" he snapped, annoyed. "Your dratted cat made a stop in my classroom on the way to Hagrid's hut and snatched it from my desk when I was doing an inventory of my stores. I could hardly use it in a potion then, so rather than chasing the thing down, I just let him keep it. I had nothing to do with Hagrid turning it into a toy." 

"Oh." said Kerri in a small voice. 

"At any rate, once Madame Pomfrey gives you a clean bill of heath, we'll make the trip down to Hogsmeade, where, I assure you, you will purchase a new one to replace the one your cat stole." He stood, forestalling her disbelieving outburst, and nodded his farewell. "I will see you in class." 

_Well, I never!_ Kerri flopped back onto her pillow in a huff. "He didn't want to be thanked," she complained to Willow. "He even wants me to pay for _my_ present. What a complete-" 

"Don't be so hard on him, dear. Severus is bound to be a tad out of sorts, having spent the better part of a week in the infirmary keeping an eye on you." Madame Pomfrey bustled back into the room. "The poor man must have blamed himself for what happened to you. He is responsible for you after all." 

To hide her discomfort at this revelation, Kerri hugged her knees to her chest and looked away. "I never asked him to be." 

"Well, he's been less than pleased about the whole arrangement as well, but I think you're taking it rather hard." She patted Kerri on the head. "I know he can be a tad overwhelming at times, but why don't you give him a chance? And get some sleep, dear. You've had a rough time and you're still recovering. Go to bed." 

_What is it with this school and second chances?_ Kerri leaned back, Willow curling up at her feet. She was asleep before her head touched the pillow. 


	9. A Fatalistic Warning

Well, this chapter took a little (okay, a lot) longer than I meant it to. Especially such a short chapter. Blaming it on a combination of 1. A very bad cold, 2. A case of mild food poisoning, and 3. Five and a half bloody feet of snow that I spent five out of eight days of my spring break shoveling. Not that I'm complaining, we need the moisture and all, but really . . . Not to mention my little sisters got almost the whole week off from school . . . *grumble* It was supposed to be _my_ spring break.... 

*sigh* I've noticed that the number of reviews I've been getting is beginning to drop. Is the story getting boring? *worry* I'm just trying to put in a bit of an interlude before we get to the main plot, but I can hurry it along if readers think it's getting dull. But thanks loads for all the reviews I've gotten so far! Tell me what you want to see! (My muse craves feedback and has threatened to begin chewing on my toes if I don't feed him more . . .) 

***

_Why in Merlin's name did I agree to take that multi-personalitied, little snip of a girl to Hogsmeade?_ Snape stared gloomily at the dungeon wall. _ And now I can't let her out of my sight, Poppy Pomfrey's orders._

It was only a few days after Kerri had finally woken up, a week and a half since the Death Eater had shown up on Hogwarts grounds. A week and a half and she was still not up to full strength. Yet she had declared that she was going to go crazy if she didn't get out of the infirmary soon. He had been barely able to keep himself from informing her that she was definitely _not_ going to go crazy; after all, she was already there. 

His gloomy stare turned into one of annoyance. Well, she was most certainly there but she wasn't here. _Bloody little fool! Why is it my bad luck that I have to play babysitter for her when she can't even manage to be on time? _ He shifted his attention to the small clock on his office wall. She was a good fifteen minutes late with no sign that she was going to show up any time soon. She was probably in her room, playing with her cats, having completely lost track of time. _And I have to put up with her and keep an eye on her, even if she switches to her 'I hate Severus Snape' personality._ He groaned. _ Someone do me the favor of putting her out of my misery!_

He refused to think about the week he had spent at her bedside and that he had actually allowed himself to feel a measure of concern for the girl. His blasted overblown sense of responsibility! First it had made him save Potter's worthless hide, now he was feeling guilty having not kept a better eye on Kerri. If only he could be as heartless as his students imagined him. Or at least less honorable. 

He sighed and rubbed his temples. _Bugger_ it all. As if he didn't have enough going on to make his life miserable. With that thought on his mind, he glanced uneasily at his left arm. He had yet to hear from Voldemort this term, and it was making him edgy. After his last visit to the Dark Lord, he knew what was in store for him, and it wasn't going to be pleasant. Unless something happened soon to prevent it, he was liable to end up in St. Mungo's with Longbottom's parents. He noticed his hands were trembling, and quickly clenched them into fists to stop the tremors. _I'm not going to be able to do this much longer. Not after that Death Eater attack. Not with her around. I think I might . . ._

A sudden noise made him glance up, relieved that his thoughts had been interrupted . Hurried footsteps echoed down the hall outside his office. That could only be one person. Pulling his robes around him, he stood and strode to the door. Just what he needed to take his mind off things. Taking a moment to listen to the footsteps, he mentally began a countdown. _3 . . 2. . 1 . . Now!_ He put on his best annoyed expression and yanked the door open. 

***

Kerri had indeed been playing with her cats and lost track of time. Having not seen her in over a week, they had demanded immediate attention, the more the better,_ now_, if you don't mind, of course you don't, thank you very much, may I have some food with that? And having not seen them in over a week, how could she refuse? So she had showered them with the required attention until she looked up and saw that she was late. With apologies to all her cats, she had grabbed her cloak and satchel (with Willow attached) before rushing out the door. 

Despite the voice in the very back of her head that kept whispering:_ -It's just Professor Snape. Make him wait. What can he do? He deserves to wait,_ -the years of trying to please people kicked in. She took the stairs down to the dungeons in sets of three, nearly losing her balance several times. By the time she made it to his office, her side was one huge mass of pain, and her breath was coming in ragged gasps. She didn't much like the idea of facing him in that condition, so she leant forward to lean against the door and catch her breath. However, just as her palms touched the rough wood, the door swung open and she tumbled into the room. A situation that wouldn't have been nearly so bad if it someone hadn't caught her before she hit the ground. And, unfortunately, she could tell immediately who it was. Only one person could turn the action of catching someone into an insult. She winced and looked up into a pair of extremely annoyed black eyes. 

_Well, this is a very interesting situation . Oh yes. Very, very, interesting indeed. . . Bugger._

***

"Adding insult to injury, Miss Harper?" Snape grated out when he finally got his voice back. He hadn't expected her to lean against the door rather than knock. He pushed her to her feet and released her, not bothering to see if she'd gotten her balance back before snapping, "Or perhaps you're enjoying collapsing in my arms?" He blinked as the words left his mouth. _ Oh Merlin, did I just say what I think I said? I haven't been this horrible since Miss Granger got hit by that tooth curse._

"S-sorry." She stuttered, stumbling back. "I-I just lost track of time and I was in a hurry, so . . ." She trailed off, looking extremely uncomfortable. 

Snape sighed and decided, for once in his life, this was not an opportunity worth pursuing. "Stop apologizing, Miss Harper." he said dully, "That remark was uncalled for, even for me. We've all been through a lot in the last few days, and my patience has been stretched to the breaking point. I'm sorry that I lashed out at you." 

Discomfort turned to pure shock in an instant. Kerri could only stand there and gape at the man in utter disbelief. An _apology?_ An outright _apology?_ From _Professor Snape?_ It was impossible, unheard of. It took her several tries to gasp out, "A-a-apology accepted?" 

They stood there in silence, eyeing each other warily, as if expecting an attack. Snape, trying to decide if he should bother to be insulted; Kerri, praying that he wasn't going to get mad and refuse to go get potion ingredients. A split second before either of them thought of something to say, Willow stuck his head out of Kerri's satchel and voiced his displeasure at being stuck in such a dark place. All of her attention was immediately transferred to the little ball of fur as she carefully dug him out of the bag hanging at her side. By the time she got him calmed down, Snape was already halfway out the door. "P-professor! Wait for me!" 

Snape slowed his pace by a fraction, but declined to answer. He was under more stress than he had realized. The arrival of the Death Eater had shaken him badly. Not only the fact that one had managed to get onto Hogwarts grounds unnoticed, but that he had not been told. Even though Dumbledore refused to voice his suspicions as to why the Death Eater was there, Snape knew. It was Voldemort's way of saying, _You see this, Severus Snape? You're next, traitor._ He shuddered slightly. The summons would be coming soon. 

"-fessor? _Professor Snape!_" Kerri's worried voice broke through his despairing fog. He realized that he had stopped dead in his tracks sometime in the midst of his thoughts. This wouldn't do. He couldn't afford to show weakness in front of anyone, let alone her. He forced his voice to sound steady and snapped, "No need to scream in my ear, Miss Harper. I was only thinking about what I was planning to do with the wizard who decided to saddle me with someone like you." 

"Actually, that would be me, Severus." Snape looked up to see Dumbledore staring at him thoughtfully. "I was just coming down to see you. May I speak with you for a moment?" He smiled apologetically at Kerri. "It won't take very long, Miss Harper. I know how eager you are to get out and about." 

Kerri smiled faintly and went to talk to the portraits as Dumbledore pulled Snape to the other side of the hall. Once they were out of earshot, Dumbledore turned to Snape, eyes twinkling. "Severus, correct me if I'm wrong, but asking the general universe what you did to deserve someone doesn't really fall under the category of making her feel welcome, does it?" 

Snape sighed and muttered, "Albus, I can't do this." He looked up at the older man who immediately dropped all traces of cheerfulness at the despairing look. "I can't. You know why that Death Eater was here. If Voldemort trusted me, he would have told me to dispose of her. And those he doesn't trust, he kills, or tortures, or maims, or-" He got a hold of himself, took a deep breath and continued, "All she's doing is making it harder to bear. She thinks I killed her parents, Albus. I didn't, you know I didn't, but every time I face her hate, I have to remember all those I did kill. Every time she glares at me, it's like facing the eyes of everyone I ever hurt. And now I'm going back to _him_, to do who knows what else, or suffer and die at his hands." He noticed, vaguely, that his hands were shaking again. "_I can't do this._" 

Dumbledore stroked his chin thoughtfully. "So you're saying that there are only three solutions to this problem." He ticked them off on his fingers. "One, Voldemort is killed. Two, you sever all ties with him. However, neither of these solves the problem of your guilty conscience. Hence we turn to solution number three, which is the removal of Miss Harper from Hogwarts. Am I correct?" 

Snape nodded and answered faintly. "Yes." 

"Hmm. Well, I'm afraid I can't manage any of those solutions at the moment. However!" The Headmaster grinned widely. "I do have a fourth solution, which I believe is much more attainable, and so thus we shall set our sights on that." 

"I'm afraid that part of it requires that I not tell you, Severus. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about that." 

"How long will it take?" 

"That depends upon your actions, and those of Miss Harper. But I think that you've already achieved the first part of the solution, if that sets your mind at ease." 

It, of course, didn't even come near to setting _anything_ at ease, but since Dumbledore seemed so sure of himself, Snape decided to drop the subject. He was just about to excuse himself when Dumbledore asked, "Out of curiosity, why are you going to Hogsmeade and not Diagon Alley? The potion ingredients are of a much higher quality at the Apothecary than anywhere in Hogsmeade." 

Snape's normal sarcastic smirk, though slightly strained, returned to his face. "Oh, I have my reasons." 

"Pray, enlighten me, Severus." 

"One, Hogmeade is closer, and I don't think Poppy would react well to me hauling her patient along on a cross-England jaunt. Two, Diagon Alley is much more crowded, and I don't want Miss Harper wandering off. And three, the Apothecary is much too near to the Magical Menagerie, and she really doesn't need a half dozen more cats. I'll only go to Diagon Alley with her as a last resort." 

"Well then!" Dumbledore looked impressed, "That's quite the case you've got there. At least you needn't worry about the cat thing. I've been told that she hasn't bought one of them. They're mostly strays she befriended while she was with the Aurors." He chuckled. "Or rather, I should say that she snuck them food, so they moved in. Cats will do that, as you might know." 

"Hmph." Snape glanced out the window. "The sun is getting rather far in the sky. I'll need to go now if I'm planning to be back by dinner." He made a face. "If I'm not back by then, assume one of us has throttled the other." He nodded a farewell to Dumbledore and swept off down the hall. Alerted by the paintings, Kerri scurried off after him, annoyance written all over her face. 

Still chuckling, the headmaster watched them go. "_I_ don't know if they'll figure it out." he mused aloud. "I think it's rather obvious, but it is hard to see a solution if you're part of the problem. Harder still if one refuses to admit to the solution. But I do think that they see a little of themselves in each other. That's probably why she agreed to tell him her past, when she's not told anyone else. Probably also the only reason they aren't _completely_ at each others throats. As for the solution . . ." He trailed off and glanced up at the paintings who were listening attentively, and trying very hard to make it look like they weren't. Hiding a smile, he announced, "I think I'll have some lemon drops now," and strolled off, humming. 


	10. I Can Smile at the Old Days

Okay, I'm back. First off, I've decided on the names of the cats, much thanks to those who suggested them. Thanks to Rosmerta for Fizz, Blanche, and Winston; Mykerinos for Dolly; and Sage and Snape for Raven, and Cirrus. You guys are great! Oh, and check out my new story please! *shameless self-promotion* It's a HG/SS fic called "Perfect Sacrifice." Please Read/review! 

***

"Miss Harper, I really don't want to put a tracing spell on you, so stop wandering off!" 

Despite Snape's best efforts, the two of them had ended up in Diagon Alley after all. After spending a good hour and a half wandering around, he had finally given up and gone to the Apothecary, against his better judgment. _ Poppy is going to have my hide for this one . . ._ He'd already had to literally drag her away from a display of glass cauldrons, wincing at the thought of what she might manage to do to the fragile-looking things. Now, just as he had predicted, Kerri was throwing longing glances at the Menagerie. Twice now he'd looked up from something and seen her halfway out the door. By the third time, Madame Jiggers, one of the shops owners, nearly dropped a basket of toad legs trying not to laugh. 

Finally, she leant over the counter and tapped Snape on the shoulder. "So, Severus, when did you acquire this little tagalong? I don't remember her from the last time." 

Snape rolled his eyes and told her the whole grisly story, (edited a tad, of course), ending with, "So, since she's about as accident-prone as a blinded dragon, I didn't want to unleash her on Diagon Alley without supervision." 

The tall, scrawny witch chuckled bemusedly, shaking her head. "That's quite the story, Severus. But really, Veritaserum? Quite the project for a girl her age. Should take her the rest of the term at least. I thought you wanted her out of your hair?" 

"I would like nothing better, but I _am_ her teacher, and I don't have a choice in this matter. Dumbledore decided that she-" He turned to gesture at Kerri. Or at least the spot where she used to be. Snape blinked. "Ah, _hells . . ._" 

***

_Bloody git. I want to go see one of the few people on God's green earth who will talk to me and he stops me every time. We've already found all the ingredients we need, anyway._ Kerri scowled rebelliously, conscious that she was acting like a first year, and not caring a bit. _He's talking to a friend of his. Bugger. It's only fair that I should be allowed to do the same. _

She carefully inched toward the door, staying as quiet as she could. Not that that had helped the first three times. She thought that she had learnt _something_ about sneaking around while staying with the Aurors, but Snape somehow always managed to catch her. But maybe now, now that he was talking to the shopkeeper. She carefully eased the door open, slipping through as soon as she could. _Yes!_ Once out of the shop, she walked quickly across the street, not noticing the tall blond man watching her. 

There it was. The Magical Menagerie. Once her home away from home. She had been wanting to come back here for a while. She hadn't visited much since Neville's parents . . . She gritted her teeth. Now was not the time to think of such things. _Think of seeing an old friend again instead._ Heartened somewhat by the thought, she headed up to the door. 

"Kerri? Little Kerri? Is that you?" A tiny, bespectacled witch looked up from a cage of puffballs at the sound of the door opening. Kerri smiled. The Menagerie one of the few places that she had always felt welcome. When she had been younger, the Longbottoms had often brought her here. This was where she had first found her love for animals, despite the bites and scratches she received from sticking her small arms into the cages. More than once, Mrs. Manders, the owner, had needed to pull out her emergency store of antidotes to keep "little Kerri" from swelling up and dying from the poisonous sting of something or other. But even her brushes with the most dangerous of animals had not dissuaded her from returning again and again. 

In fact, this was where she had gotten her very first cat. Well, mostly a cat. Kind of. Willow had been the result if an accident involving a Combining Elixir. Combining Elixirs were potions used mostly by the Ministry of Magic to breed new animals for various purposes. They basically worked by analyzing the DNA of two non-human creatures, and from that, creating an entirely new creature out of thin air. It was extremely high level magic, and you didn't always get what you were expecting. Normally, such potions were kept under lock and key, but one day, Mrs. Manders had just finished brewing some when a particularly mischievous cat had gotten out of its cage. To make a long story short, the Elixir had spilled onto the cat and one of the puffballs, and when the mist cleared, she had discovered a very put-out looking Willow sitting on the cupboard. The next day, when Kerri came wandering in, Willow attached himself to her and refused to let go. A lot of confusion and a little screaming later, Kerri had her first cat, and Willow had a steady supply of food. 

"It _is_ you!" the little witch exclaimed happily, "I haven't seen you for months. Where have you been all this time?" 

Kerri went over to give the older witch a hand with the puffball she was trying to wrestle into the cage. "The Aurors finally agreed to let me go to Hogwarts. I came to Diagon Alley to get some potion ingredients." 

"So you are studying potions, just like you hoped you would. Who's the potions professor at Hogwarts again?" Before Kerri could open her mouth, Mrs. Manders continued, "Severus Snape isn't it? You know, he-" 

Feeling neglected, Willow let everyone present know that he would like some attention, please. Mrs. Manders descended upon him like a protective mother, interrupting herself. "And Willow too!" She scooped the tiny cat up. "You know, I have a new recipe for treats that I've been wanting to try out, and I think you're just the cat for the job." She transferred the motherly affection to the girl who was already poking around the cages. "Looking for anything, dear?" 

"Mmm . . Nothing specific, actually. I was just wondering . . . that is . . . " She trailed off, hopeful. 

Mrs. Manders threw back her head and guffawed. Willow yowled and bristled at the sudden loud noise. Kerri barely resisted the temptation to cover her ears. Many of those who first met Mrs. Manders came away thinking that she was a quiet, proper little witch. However, those who heard her laugh quickly retracted their previous opinion. The tiny witch had a hearty and loud, very loud, laugh, that had a tendency to fill the room. 

After a couple moments, she settled down, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Heheheh, I don't know why I even bother to-heheh-ask any more. You're _always_ checking to see if I have any cats that aren't selling. Well now, let me see. . ." She bustled off to the back, motioning for Kerri to follow her. Tapping her wand against the doorknob, Mrs. Manders grinned at Kerri's expectant look and shoved open the door. 

Mrs. Manders back room worked a little like wizardly tents; the door opened up into a room she kept somewhere else. Each type of animal she sold had it's own back room. As she had said to Kerri many times, "What, you think I leave them in the cages all the time? Animals don't thrive in cages! Better for them to have a place to romp around." 

At the moment, the door opened to what she termed her "cat heaven." No less than two dozen cats lounged about, ranging in age from a kitten barely able to walk, to several fully grown, (and very large) cats. The two witches picked their way through them to one of the corners of the cat-laden room. As they passed, several cats looked up and yowled, asking what time lunch was. Mrs. Manders ignored them, and began to dig underneath a pile of cushions. As Kerri watched from the side, the little witch managed to extricate a short, black tail before it twitched and vanished even further into the pile. With a grimace, Mrs. Manders pulled a pair of leather gloves from her belt and put them on. "Little dickens has really sharp claws, and I don't think she's going to come out on her own." she muttered before diving in again. 

After a few very vehement hisses of protest, the cat was finally revealed. Mrs. Manders scooped her up into her arms and stroked her for a while to calm her down before handing her to Kerri. It was a small tortoiseshell cat, barely out of kittenhood, and obviously very agitated, even after the petting. Kerri made soothing noises, wincing when the cat readjusted her position, digging her claws in for a better grip. 

"She's too high strung to be a familiar, at least for now." said Mrs. Manders, wiping her brow. "She needs a mothering sort of cat to take care of her, but none of these lazy bums feel like adopting. And so, just the other day, I was thinking, 'Pity I don't have Blanche around, she'd know what to do with her,' and then I remembered that I gave her to you." She gave the girl a sly look, "So, what do you think? Feel like having an eighth cat?" 

"Do you have to ask?" Kerri smiled at the little cat, "This is perfect. I thought Willow was going to run off if Blanche tried mothering him one more time. And now she'll have someone to look after who won't try to bite her tail off." She looked over at Mrs. Manders. "Does she have a name?" 

"Not yet, that I know of. She refuses to tell me, or any of the other cats." She let out a theatrical sigh. "Maybe you'll have better luck with her." 

A little bell set in the wall began to ring, signaling a customer's arrival. "Oh, you'll have to excuse me, dear. Customer in the shop, you know." Mrs. Manders hurried through the door, leaving Kerri to coo over the cat in her arms. A moment later, she stuck her head back through the door, "Kerri, dear, I hate to interrupt, but Severus Snape is out here looking for you, and I don't think he's very happy." 

Kerri nearly dropped the cat in shock. "_Oh no!_ I forgot about him!" 

***

Snape crossed his arms and glared at Kerri. "Well?" he demanded. _I knew it. I knew this would happen. I turn my back for one minute and she's gone and got herself another cat._ He transferred his glare to the small, multicolored cat cowering in her arms. And it's the feline version of her. Wasn't one enough? 

Kerri noticed the direction of his glare, "Stop it, you're scaring her!" 

Snape sighed. "Miss Harper, it doesn't really matter to me what you do during your spare time, but at the moment, we are working on a school project of yours. If you don't show a little more responsibility, I may have to assign you something else to do. Something that someone of your limited talents can actually handle." He was stretching the truth as to not give away the terms of their bargain, but she caught on readily enough. 

She flushed with anger at the insinuation that he might refuse to brew the Veritaserum, but kept her mouth shut. _Well, at least she knows when to shut up in public,_ Snape thought smugly. Out loud he said, "Perhaps you should leave that animal here until you are done obtaining your ingredients. I shudder to think of the amount of damage that the two of you could inflict on the Apothecary." 

She bit her lip and stared at her feet. Snape managed to stifle the smirk threatening to bloom on his face. She didn't dare snap at him here and ruin her "sweet and innocent" reputation. She knew it too, and the stress from not launching herself at his throat was getting to her. He could almost hear her teeth grinding together. She took several deep breaths and finally looked him in the eye. 

"Of course, Professor. I think that would be for the best." Her voice was relatively calm and controlled. A casual observer would have no idea of her true thoughts at the moment. Snape, on the other hand, had a fairly good idea, due to the glint in her eye that said, quite clearly: _'I'm going to vivisect you, Professor. And I will enjoy it immensely.'_ She smiled then, an overly polite grin that would have boded poorly for him if she had been anyone else. _For instance, anyone with a minimum of physical and/or magical strength._ As is, the effect came off as an empty threat. He allowed the smirk to tug at his lips as she turned to hand the cat to Mrs. Manders. 

Completely straight faced by the time the two witches were facing him again, he motioned for the girl to follow him back to the Apothecary. She followed him reluctantly, waving to Mrs. Manders as she went. 

Once outside, Snape cleared his throat. "Miss Harper, do you think-" 

"Well, well. What have we here?" Snape barely kept himself from leaping out of his skin as an arm draped over his shoulders. "A little shopping trip?" 

"Hello, Lucius." Snape said between his teeth, "I didn't expect to see you here." 

Snape silently went through a list of his favorite curses and answered curtly, "Miss Harper." 

"Ah, so this is the girl who mouthed off to my son. Your new _student_." 

"By order of Dumbledore, yes." Snape didn't like the inflection on the word "student," but what could he say? He risked a glance over at the student in question and saw that she had turned a sickly gray-white. He could only hope that she wouldn't give Lucius the same treatment she had given his son. _Keep your mouth shut, girl. If you choose one time in your life to go back to your terrified kitten personality, let this be the time._

He wasn't disappointed. While Kerri could stand up to the younger Malfoy, the older one scared her to death. "H-h-h-hello, s-s-sir." she managed. 

"It's a pleasure to see that you're learning your place, child. Perhaps that little lesson you had a week back taught you something?" The tall man chuckled as he saw comprehension dawn in her eyes. She flushed in anger and prepared to tell him what she thought of him. Snape, sensing the oncoming personality switch, snagged her arm and shoved her through the Apothecary door, shutting it firmly behind her. 

Disaster averted, he turned to Lucius, slipping easily into his Death Eater persona. "Now that she's out of earshot, did you have something to tell me?" 

The other man shrugged. "Only to make sure you remembered our little post-Halloween party. I would be so upset if you missed it, Severus. You being one of my old friends and all." 

_I'm sure._ "Don't worry, Lucius, I wouldn't miss it for the world." 

Lucius smiled, but his eyes remained cold. "I didn't think you would. We're expecting some very important guests, and I expect that they would like to meet you. You have made such a name for yourself lately." Sweeping a short bow, he continued without giving Snape a chance to respond. "I must be on my way now, Severus. Give my regards to Dumbledore, will you?" 

Snape stayed rooted to the spot as Lucius swept away. He kept himself still, not allowing any of his boiling emotions to show. Lucius' parties were horrible enough, but he could guess who the "important guests" were, and the thought made him break out in a cold sweat. So Voldemort himself would be there. And he would have to go alone to face him. Lucius' parting remark had been his way of daring Snape to tell Dumbledore of the party, to beg for help. And if he did, they would know for certain of his double-agent status. Dumbledore trusted him to report on Death Eater whereabouts, but in this case it was far too dangerous. He would have to go alone, without telling anyone. It might very well mean his death. 

With a heavy heart, he turned to go back into the Apothecary, but was brought up short by the figure in the door. Kerri's face was as white as paper, her eyes overbright and accusing. A spot of blood showed on her lower lip where she had bit it. He didn't know how long she had been listening to the two of them, but it had obviously been long enough to condemn him once more. 


	11. The Withered Leaves Collect

*Yawn* Finally finished this chapter at 11:00 tonight. Loads of fun. So please pardon any mistakes if you come across them, I'm not really awake at the moment. 

Second, I'm considering doing a rewrite of the first few chapters, since the plot has changed slightly since I began, and I'm not sure if they're entirely up to date. Let me know what you think about that. 

Third, Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews! You guys are the ones who keep me writing! 

And finally, this chapter has been inspired by my mother, who keeps telling me that I'll probably end up dating a professor here at college. Hmmm . . . my boyfriend tells me the same thing . . . Is it something I said? (Mmmmm...Snape! *cackle*) 

***

Halloween morning dawned clear and windy. Fallen leaves swirled across Hogwarts grounds in small packs, waylaying the unwary traveler with whirlwinds of dust. But it was the rare witch or wizard who set foot outside the school that day. Everyone; teachers, students, house-elves, ghosts, and even the paintings were preparing themselves for the Masquerade Ball that night. Dumbledore's idea had been received with great enthusiasm by all, and they had thrown themselves into the preparations with great gusto. Professor Flitwick had been busy all day, teaching student disguising charms and their many variations. The library was swamped by students looking for costume ideas, while Professor McGonagall held an impromptu wizardly sewing class for the more creative students. 

The Gryffindor common room had transformed into a small disaster area, with disguise charms, fabric, and pins flying every which way. Students spent on average only half the time looking like themselves, not always under their own power. Fred and George Weasley had been labeled disturbers of the peace after passing out approximately five pounds of candy that made the eater sprout fur. They were summarily banished to their room, from which loud crashing noises emanated about five minutes later. No one really wanted to find out what they were doing. 

Even Hermione abandoned her books in favor for costuming. Mischievously, she had decided that she would go for shock factor and chose a costume that was completely out of character for her. She had just begun to put the finishing touches on it when Crookshanks ran off with her thread. 

"Drat it, you great orange lump! Get back here!" She lunged for the cat who dodged her and streaked out the door. She scooped her costume up into her bag, so that no one would find it while she was gone and ruin her surprise, and chased him through the common room. Unfortunately for her, a giggling group of first years came through the portrait hole just at that moment, and Crookshanks took the opportunity to escape. 

Muttering unmentionable threats under her breath, Hermione climbed out just in time to see an orange tail disappear around the corner. She took off after the cat, hoping that she wouldn't have to chase him all over the school. 

As it turned out, she didn't have to chase him all around the entire school, but it was close. She finally caught up with her cat just outside the dungeons. Picking him up she scolded, "There you are, you naughty boy. Give back the thread. I need it to finish my costume." Crookshanks grumbled at her and wriggled out of her arms. Hermione frowned at him. "What's gotten into you, Crookshanks?" 

The huge cat trotted down the hallway for a few yards before lazily reaching up and sharpening his claws on a door. Seconds later, the door slowly opened. Hermione winced, hoping that it wasn't one of Snape's storerooms. However, the face that showed itself at the door definitely did not belong to Snape. 

"Kerri?" 

The girl in question peeked out around the door. Kerri had spent the week after her trip to Diagon Alley drifting around school like a ghost. She answered most questions with monosyllabic replies, if she did answer. Any efforts to cheer her up failed miserably, and eventually people began to simply avoid her rather than be in her depressing presence. She spent more time hidden away in her room than ever, appearing for meals only rarely. Even Hermione, Harry and Ron were at a loss. Hagrid was just as confused when they asked him if he knew anything. 

"I dunno. She was doin' jes' fine until she went out wi' Professor Snape. Mebbe he got mad at 'er, mebbe th' new cat she got is sick or sumthin. I jes' dunno." He had shrugged and gone back to poking at something unidentifiable that was boiling over the fire. 

Now, as she emerged from her room, Kerri looked almost as bad as she had after the Death Eater attacked her. Her skin had lost any color it had in it before, and she sported dark circles under her eyes. But despite her appearance, she greeted the big orange cat with a smile. At Hermione's exclamation, though, she nearly leapt out of her skin. 

Clutching her laboring heart, Kerri leant against the doorframe. "I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't see you there, Hermione." 

"Are you all right?" Hermione stared at the pale girl. "You look awful." 

"I -er- haven't been sleeping well, I guess." 

"Or eating, or feeling, I see." 

A bitter smile. "Apparently." 

Hermione shook her head. "'Apparently?' Is that all you can say?" She tsked in motherly concern. "No wonder Crookshanks brought me here! You look like Professor Quirrell!" 

"I thought Quirrell was dead." 

"My point exactly." 

"Oh." Kerri looked embarrassed. "Er . . Would you like to come in? Crookshanks already has." 

Hermione glanced down to see her cat run past Kerri. A split second later, the air erupted with yowls and hisses. The two girls looked at each other and, as one, dove into the room. 

Fortunately, the scene inside was nowhere near as bad as they had imagined. Willow had apparently tried to give Crookshanks the same treatment he had given to Fang. However, the cat wasn't as easily cowed as the dog. He had grabbed Willow by the scruff of the neck and was presently shaking him like a toy. The other cats, save the newest, were looking on complacently. Kerri's newest cat was the source of most of the hissing as she clawed her way to the top of the wardrobe, and let Crookshanks know what she thought of him. 

Kerri knelt and carefully extracted Willow from the larger cat, who grumbled at the interruption of his new game. After both cats were examined for any permanent injury, and the new cat settled down somewhat, Kerri pointed to the bag Hermione was carrying. 

"Not to change the subject or anything, but what's that?" 

"Oh, this?" Hermione started to open the bag, but paused. "I'll only show you if you promise not to tell anyone else what it is." 

The older girl raised her eyebrows thoughtfully, but nodded just the same. 

Hermione pulled out her costume and watched, gratified, as Kerri's eyebrows almost shot off her forehead. 

"Isn't that a little . . er . . out of character for you, Hermione?" 

"I know! Imagine the looks on Ron and Harry's faces when they see me in it!" 

"They won't recognize you at the ball, remember?" 

"The five minutes of watching them swallow their tongues in the Common Room will be more than enough." 

Kerri tried to hide a smile at the thought, but failed miserably. "I think I'd pay money to see that." 

"Guys are so cute when they're traumatized, aren't they?" 

"I really don't want to know how you know that." 

"Not too many guys at the Aurors, huh?" 

"No." Kerri made a face. "And please don't suggest any here. I'm not into younger men." 

"There's always professors." Hermione had a mischievous gleam in her eye. 

"Well, I agree, most of them are. . ." The mischievous gleam became downright wicked. "Snape's not that much older, though . . ." 

Kerri gave Hermione a suspicious look, trying to figure out if she was joking. At the moment, the thought didn't sicken her as much as it would have a week ago. But still . . . She never knew what possessed her to say what she said next. "And how would I attract him, hmm? Read a potions manual in a slow, breathy voice?" 

That comment was a little too much for the two girls, who collapsed into piles of hysterical giggles. The cats, who by then had reached a truce, looked at them in momentary confusion, but decided that it wasn't worth it to go over to them for attention and fell back asleep. Hermione was the first to recover, she wiped tears of laughter from her eyes as she waited for Kerri to catch her breath. "So what are you going as to the Masquerade?" 

"I'm not-oh, OW . . my side-telling you until you reassure me that you were joking." 

"And I won't tell you if I was joking or not until you tell me why you've been hiding in your room this past week, and why Snape has been looking like a thundercloud lately." While Kerri had turned into a ghost, Snape had become impossible, well, more impossible, to deal with. But as the week progressed, he became distracted and almost jumpy. Harry had caught him pacing about his office, talking to himself. Gryffindor had lost a _lot_ of points that afternoon. "He's been an absolute _git_ these last few days." 

The older girl's face immediately closed like a door. "Do I look like I know what's going through Professor Snape's mind?" 

"Well, that answers one question . . ."Hermione stared at her expectantly, refusing to be put off. 

"And for the other one, it's none of your business beyond the fact that we ran into Malfoy Sr. and had a bit of a falling out." She saw the slightly hurt expression on Hermione's face and sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just don't really want to go over it again." 

"Hmph. Fair enough, I guess. But, due to the lack of information, I must insist that you make it up to me somehow." She brightened up again as she thought. "Here's an idea . ." 

"Uh oh." 

"No, no! Nothing like that! I just want to be introduced to your cats." 

"Never mind. How many do you have anyway?" 

"Eight." At that point, Kerri gave up trying to follow Hermione's train of thought. She knew it made sense to the girl, but the rest of the world would just end up with a massive collective headache for their pains. She called the cats, who answered, more or less. Knowing she had no food, most of them made it barely out of their hiding spots before forming one giant furry mass in the warm spot by the window. 

"Let's see here . . . You already know Willow." Hermione nodded, still staring at the blob o' cats in the sunbeam. "The big gray one is Winston and the little gray one is Dolly. The little tortoiseshell, my newest cat, is Fizz. The white one washing Fizz's ear is Blanche, the little white one is Cirrus, the marmalade cat over there lying on her back is Honey, and the black one is Raven." She took a deep breath. "That's all of them." 

"Wow." 

"That's what most people say." 

"How do you take care of them?" 

"Dumbledore's given them free range in Hogwarts. I think they usually go down to harass the House-Elves because they're rarely hungry when I come home." She grinned. "At least I hope so. I'd hate to think they've been eating peoples' familiars." 

Another snort of laughter. "That _would_ go over poorly with Hogwarts' powers-that-be wouldn't it? Oh by the way, I was joking." 

"Huh?" 

"About Snape, remember?" 

"Oh. Sorry, I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes." Kerri made a face. "You could have reassured me earlier. By now the shock may have damaged me permanently." 

"Bah, you're tougher than that. You've put up with Snape for two months haven't you?" She pulled her costume out of her bag once more. "Now that we've covered all bases, how about you show me your costume so we can finish them up before the ball tonight?" 

"Only if I'm allowed to be there when the boys see you in that." 

"Are you kidding? The bigger the audience, the better!" 

***

Snape was seriously considering throwing himself from the top of the Astronomy tower. Or feeding himself to the giant spiders in the Forbidden Forest. Or maybe he would just find Black and ask him to kill him. No, on second thought he didn't want to give him the satisfaction. 

He was not looking forward to the ball. 

But faculty were required to attend. _At least Dumbledore will alter the charm for the teachers so we have a vague idea of who's who. At least, he _says_ he's going to._ He turned his mask over in his hands and glared at it. He didn't know what possessed him to actually pull out that old costume of his. It might have been stupidity, it may have been because Dumbledore asked him to. Or it might have had something to do with Minerva suggesting that he could dress up as Longbottom's grandmother. 

They never _had_ let him live that down. 

_Well, it won't be for too long._ He sighed and put the mask on. Straightening his cape, he swept out of his office. 

If he had been thinking about something other than ways to kill himself and/or Dumbledore, he would have realized that he hadn't worried about the Death Eater meeting for at least several hours now. He would also have reflected on how strange it was that it worked out that way. And then he would have made several rather colorful comments on exactly what a manipulative old codger the Headmaster was. But, since he was too busy complaining about the ball, he didn't. 

Perhaps that was Dumbledore's intention from the beginning. 

***

Back in the Gryffindor Common Room, it was a scene of utter chaos. Between last minute adjustments and cries of - "Fr-Geor-Oh whoever you are! Bug off!" - it was a wonder that no one had been hustled off to Madame Pomfrey yet. 

The small group of girls standing in the corner had plans to change that. 

Prodded by the others, Hermione walked over to Harry (who was dressed as a Golden Snitch) and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, she grinned and asked, "Like my costume, Harry?" 

"Umbahba . . ." he said eloquently. 

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Surely I don't look that bad?" By then a crowd had gathered, made up of giggling girls and gawking boys. 

"Actually," said Harry, who had finally managed not to choke, "I think you've missed your calling, becoming a witch. You would have made a great Goth." 

"So that's what she is. . . " said Ron, as he adjusted his owl costume. "Scary . . ." 

The gaping paused for a moment as a loud bell tone rang out, summoning them all to the Masquerade. 

"Ah, the hour is struck!" Ron cried dramatically. He and Harry bowed to Hermione. "My lady, if you would allow us the honor of escorting you to the ball?" 

Hermione tossed her hair, dyed black from a potion Kerri gave her, and accepted the proffered arms before they all piled out the portrait hole. 

"Dare I ask what you transfigured to get that?" Harry asked as they walked down to the Great Hall. 

"Well you see, Ginny lent me her Weasley sweater . . ." 


	12. Endless Masquerading

Yes! I'm back on the internet! Free! Free! 

Heh heh. Sorry. Summer without the internet will do that to you. 

Anyway, here's the way things are going to go over the next few weeks. I'll keep writing, of course, but I'm rewriting the first few chapters too, fixing a few errors, and generally streamlining the story. So, the next update will be a rewrite of Chapter 1, the one after that is going to be Chapter 13, and so on. 

And now, the long awaited (*snort* yeah right) Masquerade Ball! 

***

"I will always remember the olive-eyed tabby who taught me that not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Sometimes just an hour is enough to touch your heart." ~ Barbara L. Diamond 

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He pulled his cloak tighter about him, trying to blend into the shadows. The last thing he wanted to do was to get yanked out on the dance floor tonight. With that charm of Dumbledore's on the masquerade, anyone could think he was anyone. And despite all previous reassurances, he couldn't recognize anyone at all. Somehow, he doubted that that was an accident. Blast that interfering old man . . . he thought, but his heart wasn't really in it. There was something about dances like this that helped him forget . . . 

Suddenly, he felt a hand touch him gently on his shoulder. He nearly jumped out of his skin before he remembered that no one could recognize him. Relaxing, he heard a soft voice say, "A patron of Muggle arts, I see." He spun around to confront the owner of the voice. Before him stood a girl dressed in soft, gauzy scarves that clung to her torso before sweeping out into a glittering pastel skirt, the blues and purples complementing skin and hair both as white as snow. She wore a crystalline mask that curled back into her hair. She smiled, and commented, "You look very dashing." 

After studying her face for several seconds, he threw up his hands and exclaimed, "This is what I don't like about this! There's no way you can figure out who you're talking to! You could be Hagrid, for all I know!" 

She laughed and responded, "But it's so wonderful! You're free! No one can possibly know who you are. The freedom is intoxicating!" She twirled about in a great circle before reaching out to grab his arm with both of hers. "You can do anything to anyone without anybody knowing who you are." 

At that moment, he became excruciatingly aware of two things. One, that she was implying that she could do anything with him, and second, that she was pressed up against his side close enough to be a second skin. And once he became aware of that, he also became aware of a third thing. This being that, although he had recoiled at first, now, for some reason, he was enjoying her attentions immensely, whomever she was. 

"And I did mean it when I said you looked dashing," she continued, unabashedly, "Quite handsome really. Perhaps I should remove this phantom's mask and reveal the man behind it?" She ran a finger down the mask's cheek before pulling away. "But that would spoil the whole dream. I would rather discover the man behind the mask when I know who the phantom is." 

He found himself playing along. After all, as she said, he was, for once, free to do anything. He ran his own finger up her cheek to her mask, noting the surprise on her face as he did so. "And perhaps I should see if there is a girl behind the queen of ice and snow. The finger then headed down her neck. " A girl, or perhaps, a woman?" He traced her collarbone, feeling the heartbeat under his fingertips quicken as he did so. _What am I doing? She's probably a student . . . Ah, who cares. We're all the same now._ "Are you so sure you want to discover the man? He may be more than you bargained for." 

"Perhaps." Her soft voice trembled slightly, but she smiled anyway. "But perhaps you may find the woman more as well." She captured his hand in hers, bringing his fingertips to her lips. They brushed ever so slightly before his hand was placed on her waist. "A dance first?" 

Before he could answer, he was pulled out onto the floor. Caught up in the moment, he had grabbed her other hand and twirled her around a couple of times before he tried to pull away, muttering, "I don't dance." 

"You might not, but the phantom does, and right now you are the phantom. He was doing quite well for a while." she protested teasingly. As he tried to pull away again, she looked at him with sad eyes. "Please?" 

The note in her voice tickled his memory and he nodded, now intent on figuring out who she was. They moved onto the floor once more as a new song began. The slow tune was familiar and he began to hum along. She looked at him questioningly. "Do you know what song this is?" she asked. 

_You take my hand, you close your eyes,_

_But I am a man you should despise,_

_"Hide Behind Myself_, I believe. An oldie but goodie, to use the Muggle phrase." 

She smiled. "What a lovely title. And so appropriate for a masquerade." 

_My mask fools all, so you can't see,_

_All my chains. Oh, please help me,_

She looked around at the dancers and whispered, half to herself, "I wish I could stay like this forever. To be where no one knows who I am, where they won't know about my past, where they won't hate me for a reason I never knew. . ." She realized she was speaking out loud and forced a smile. "I'm sorry, spoiling the mood like that for you." 

_Leave the mask up on the shelf._

_As I hide behind myself._

He stared into her sad eyes, and, on an impulse, pulled her closer so her head rested on his chest. She submitted willingly to the gentle pressure. They danced in silence for a while, then he spoke softly. "I know what you mean. The past is sometimes difficult to bear. Hogwarts is the only place I've ever been welcome in my entire life." 

_Who are you? Why are you here?_

_My greatest love, my greatest fear._

__You cannot know what's in my heart.

_My past will tear us both apart._

Still leaning against his chest, she glanced at up at him. "Really?" 

"Yes." He smiled. "It does feel odd to be accepted after being spurned for so many years. It takes a while to actually believe that the people around you either don't know or don't care about your past." He paused thoughtfully. "I don't really think I ever have. Pushing people away becomes a habit after a while. And then they push you away." 

_You cannot see._

She suddenly stopped dancing and stared at him. "How strange," she commented, "This is supposed to be a night of concealment, yet here we are, revealing ourselves." 

_You cannot know._

"As you said, we are free." A sobering thought struck him then. "But what good is it to be accepted now, when tomorrow the old walls are back up again? When you could be yet another person who hates me more than anything else." He waved his hand at the dancers. "We are indeed free, but tomorrow we will fly willingly back to our cages, for we know nothing else." 

_What has happened to you?_

"But one night of freedom is better than a life of chains, even if it only makes the slavery seem harder to bear." She too pointed at the masked crowd. "Look at them, we could be like this every day if it weren't enslaved by fear and lack of trust." 

_Your heart will break._

"And all because of one man." 

_Your mind will tear._

"Indeed." Her eyes flashed, "Voldemort." 

_I can't help you make it through._

He looked at her in surprise. "You said his name?" 

White teeth showed in a bitter smile. "Just another way of showing my temporary freedom. Tomorrow I would feel too guilty or too afraid, but for now . . . Now, masks release all inhibitions. I can hate and love without fear. I can tell the world that I'm afraid of blood, that I want a new cloak for Christmas, that I'm not always scared, or angry. I don't have to cry like a frightened kitten." 

_I see you now, you're in my dream,_

_And all is not as it should seem._

_I don't know you. How can it be?_

_My own chains bind, 'cause you're not free._

_Kitten!? Is she . .?!_ "Are you . . ?" He began to ask, but before he could finish, the sounds of a clock striking midnight were heard, and they were all whisked away. 

_You take my hand, you close your eyes,_

_But I am a man you should despise,_

_My mask fools all, so you can't see,_

_All my chains. You can't help me,_

_I saw your mask up on the shelf._

_As you hide behind yourself._

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	13. Omake 1

Since we've reached a bit of a break in the storline, I've decided to put in a short little thing entitled: _Willow's Diary_

The regular storyline will continue in Chapter 14. 

Don't forget to go read and review the rewrite of the first chapter! 

**Omake #1-The Secret Diaries of Willow**

_Note: Dates of journal entries not necessarily correct. Cats have a very bad sense of time._

**Day 1-** Arrived at Hogwarts. _Very_ gloomy place. Lots of food though. Promptly chased down a house-elf and made him feed me. Dragged back a turkey leg as big as I was. Other cats looked at me as if I were daft. Didn't share.   
Kerri brought two humans with her when she came to get us. One with long face-hair, looked very nice. Other one looked as though he'd sat in someone's knitting basket. Suggested that I escort Kerri to classes. Suggestion was graciously received. 

**Day 2-** Went to find nice old human. Found nasty ghost and nasty git instead. Once arriving in potions room, regretted escorting Kerri to classes. Place smells like a blown-up chemical factory. Hid in sleeve. Came out at one point to tell nasty git to take hand off Kerri. Was unceremoniously dumped. Shall have to push jars off shelves later to show displeasure. 

**Day 14-** Have been confined to room because nasty git threatened to skin me. Apparently thought that cat hair in potions was a bad thing. Not my fault. He shouldn't have had his cauldron there. 

**Day 16-** Have met very large dog, and very large man. Very large man gave me cream. Very large dog hid in corner. Very large dog bit of a wuss, really. Cream was very good though. Made up for having nasty git in my room earlier. 

**Day 17-** Nasty git made Kerri cry! Kerri ran back to room in middle of class. All upset. Nasty git then followed her back to room and the two had a bit of a spat. "Spat" being understatement of century. Git apparently did something to upset her, so made a deal. Am unclear on nature of deal, as does not include me, but am hoping it involves her clawing his face off. 

**Day 18-** Kerri had another spat with nasty git, and went stomping off. Got cream from house-elves, so didn't complain. 

**Day 19-** Kerri not back yet. Am very worried. 

**Day 20-** Went out looking for Kerri. Went to nasty git's room first. Found big feather, but no Kerri. Was not pleased. Went outside. Found very large dog. Was, again, not pleased. Brought to very large man. Was given more cream. Pleased. 

**Day 25-** Kerri apparently has been in hospital wing. Went to see her. Very large man carried me in his pocket. Trip very uncomfortable, as shared pocket with large stick and feather. Was allowed to play with feather, though, so all is good. Nasty git was there too. Coughed up a hairball on his robes when he wasn't watching. Very satisfactory day. 

**Day 29-** Kerri went shopping with nasty git. Brought back new cat. New cat very jumpy. Spent greater part of day on top of wardrobe. Kerri seems upset, cannot figure out why. 

**Day 35-** Fuzzy girl came to visit with large orange cat. Orange cat mistook me for chew toy. Was not happy. Told orange cat he was a nuisance. Orange cat bared fangs at me. Realized fangs are as big as I am. Hid. Laid in sunbeam later. Orange cat graciously gave me a spot. All was forgiven. Kerri and fuzzy girl poked around with fabric for rest of day. Kerri seems cheered up. Really, human moods most bizarre. 

**Day 35 (later)-** Kerri went out with fuzzy girl. Both were dressed oddly. Most confused. Was more confused when Kerri suddenly appeared in middle of room later, smelling like nasty git, and smiling. Have never associated nasty git and smiling before. Shall have to look into this. More glass jars shall bite the dust. 


	14. The Time I Knew What Happiness Was

I would like to apologize in advance for this chapter. It wasn't originally supposed to be part of the story, but I sat down one night and wrote it out. It is the product of too much caffeine and nowhere _near_ enough sleep. It contains blatent disregard for the characters, a really bad sense of humor, and no cats. I swear, I don't know why I'm bothering to post it, though it'll be a good laugh before the next few chapters.   
The rewrite of chapter two is up as well, please, _please_, tell me what you think!   
  


***

"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five-year-old boy." ~ Carl Van Vechten 

"So who did you dance with?" Lavender leant forward eagerly, waiting for a reply. Lavender, Kerri, Ginny, Hermione, and Parvati all sat in the middle of their Gryffindor room. They had been happily reminiscing over the previous night's events, trying to figure out who had been who. 

"Well, I know I danced with Harry once, there weren't any other golden snitches," Ginny ticked them off on her fingers. "Some guy dressed as a vampire, and a real cute teddy bear." 

Kerri snatched a handful of popcorn and munched thoughtfully. "Vampire . . . hmm . . . Lots of those . . ." 

"I'll bet that the teddy was Neville!" Pavarti giggled. 

"Naw, I saw him before the ball, he was a Devil's Snare." commented Hermione. "Got himself tangled up with the third-year dressed as the giant squid." 

"Anyone dance with Ron? He was the owl, remember?" 

"I think I did," Lavender frowned. "Don't rightly remember. Was he white or tawny?" 

"Hey!" The other girls looked at Ginny, who was smiling wickedly. "Here's an idea. Let's try to figure out who the teachers were. I'd bet a galleon that McGonagall was a cat." 

"And I'd bet that Umbridge was a toad." Hermione added with the faintest of sour looks. "Maybe Flitwick was the bear Ginny danced with." 

"Eww!" Ginny threw a Bertie Botts Bean at Hermione, who cleanly ducked. "The professors are simply ancient! I don't even want to consider it!" 

"Really? Not all of them. I seem to remember someone who had a absolutely head-over-heels crush on Lupin when he taught. Which reminds me . ." Hermione turned to Kerri with a distinctly familiar, and unnerving, look in her eye. "So, who was that guy that you spent the whole night hanging around?" 

Kerri developed a look that faintly resembled that of a cornered rabbit. "I have no recollection of what you are talking about." 

"Oh reeeally . ." 

_Oh dear,_ thought Kerri nervously, _this does not bode well._

"You only danced with one guy for the entire night?" Kerri was practically pounced on by the other girls. "Did you know who he was?" 

"Was he cute?" 

"What costume was he wearing?" 

"What costume were _you_ wearing?" 

"I'm not-" Kerri began, slightly pink, but Hermione interrupted. 

She was that snow maiden, the one who was dancing with the Phantom during the last song." Blank looks. "Oh for-! The guy who looked like a vampire except for the white half-mask. Don't you people see musicals?" She turned back to Kerri, who was by now approaching strawberry red, and continued. "She followed him around for most of the night, and once she got him talking they were inseparable. And," she raised her eyebrows, "If I remember correctly, he couldn't keep his hands off her either." 

"Hermione Granger, you are an absolute sadist." Kerri hissed, mortified, "And you have a penchant for embellishment. You know perfectly well that it wasn't like that." 

Hermione only grinned and helped herself to more popcorn. "Then why are you blushing so badly?" 

"I am not! Well maybe a little," she amended hastily when the other girls began to giggle, "It's just that, when I saw him, he just looked so sad that I couldn't help talking to him. It took me a while to build up my courage, so I just tailed him for a bit first. And I have no idea who he was." 

"What was he like?" asked Ginny curiously. "Maybe we can figure it out." 

The others agreed with this idea wholeheartedly, so after a bit of coercing, they got Kerri to talk. "Well, he was about a head and a bit taller than me," she began, hesitantly, "Pale skin, dark hair and eyes, really nice hands . . . You know, delicate and strong at the same time, but cold." She paused, thinking, "In fact, the rest of his skin was cold too-stop laughing! I only touched his cheek." 

"Really?" Lavender looked as though she was about to burst. "Which-?" 

"What do you-? Oh." Pause for furious blushing. "The one on his face, you nit! Anyway, he was older than a fifth-year, at least. He knew the song we danced to, he hummed along for a while and he had a pretty good voice. His speaking voice was nice too, once he'd calmed down. I really shocked him, tapping him on the shoulder when I did. He seemed sort of unsure of himself at first. And he was sad. He talked about only feeling welcome at Hogwarts, and warned me about pushing people away." Another pause. "I wish that I knew who he was. He sounded so alone." 

A long stretch of silence followed her description. 

"You know," Parvati finally said, "I have absolutely no idea who that is." 

"Join the club," said Kerri, distantly, "We can have t-shirts and everything." 

Hermione looked up from her butterbeer and suddenly announced, "Way too much time around Snape. Sarcasm is now your second language." 

Still staring off into the distance, Kerri answered, "I told you not to say stuff like that." She snapped back to the present. "Really. Don't make me hurt you." 

Too late. Hermione managed to recount the entire conversation they had had the previous night in the time it took Kerri to fling a pillow at her. The younger girl ducked and added a few speculations of her own before the bowl of popcorn followed. This she snagged out of the air and began to eat out of, smiling peacefully at Kerri's reddened face. "Y'know, I bet we could fry eggs on your cheeks at this point. At any rate, can't have you moping over some unknown guy." 

Kerri's blush receded as she stared at Hermione. "You mean that that whole thing you just put me through was to take my mind off of whomever-he-was?" 

"Bingo." 

"Evil child." 

"Thank yew verrah much." 

"Ginny, kill her for me, will you? She's making my life miserable." 

The redhead smiled and cracked her knuckles, causing the other girls to wince. "Hmmm. Stress relief." 

One vicious pillow fight later, the girls had made a truce and returned to the food, picking popcorn out of their hair. However, once the feathers had been magically retuned to the pillows, they noticed a difference in the room. Kerri had completely vanished. 

"She must have snuck out in the middle of the fight." mused Lavender, "A midnight rendezvous, perhaps? She was certainly a bit high-strung tonight." 

Hermione stared thoughtfully at the spot Kerri had been sitting. "Sarcasm, mood swings, and now a tendency to sneak around without being noticed?" she muttered to herself, "Way, _way_ too much time around Snape." 


	15. Someone Mutters

Yet another apology for the last chapter. I just really needed to write something almost desperately happy and ooc before getting on with the fic.   
Don't worry, Snape is viciously back in character now. ^_^   


***

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually, CATS ARE NICE. ~ Terry Pratchett, Sourcery 

_. . . I'm not sure if I'll come back from this alive. Of course, if you're reading this, then I did not. Voldemort obviously no longer trusts me, if he ever did, and it has become too dangerous for me to tell you when I am called. Forgive me for this deception, Albus. 

-Severus

_

Snape sighed heavily and laid down his quill. "Hopefully this will explain it all to you, Albus," he whispered before folding the letter up. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you beforehand." He looked at the folded parchment for a moment, as if debating something; then flipped it open again, scrawling a quick postscript. Putting the letter in the envelope had a sense of finality about it, as if he has just written his own death sentence. _I could burn the letter, go to the headmaster, beg for help . . . _ But even as his hand reached for his wand, he knew that he couldn't do it. If for no other reason that he would never allow himself a moment of weakness. He let his fingers drop, pushing his last hope out of his mind. Best to just let it happen. 

He was looking through his desk for his sealing wax when he heard the door open. He froze for a moment, hoping that it wasn't the Headmaster. He kept his head down by the drawers, acting as though he hadn't heard as his guest crossed the floor towards him. 

"Professor Snape?" Snape looked up from his desk. Kerri stood before him, wearing a dressing gown, cloak slung carelessly over one shoulder, arms crossed. A surge of relief followed quickly by annoyance shot through him. _This is not what I need right now. This girl has abysmal timing. I have neither the time nor the patience to give her the confrontation she wants. Though I'm certainly in the mood to. _

"Shouldn't you be in bed, Miss Harper? Or haven't you got the sense to not wander around the school half-dressed?" 

She blushed, "I was in the Gryffindor Common room, talking to Hermione and the girls." 

"And that requires you to be undressed?" 

"It was a pajama party! I just didn't have time to change back before I came down here." 

"The cloak?" 

"It was cold." 

"And why are you here?" 

"To tell you that I'm mad at you." 

"Surprising. I though you hated me. Have I gone up in your estimation that much?" 

"You know what I meant." 

"Perhaps. Now, why don't you bug off and go mind your own business?" 

Kerri ignored the dismissal and leant over the desk. "You lied to me." 

Snape resisted the temptation to smack her across the face, continued looking through his desk instead. He gritted his teeth as he saw her gown drop away from her neck out of the corner of his eye. _Perhaps I could - what do those Muggles call them . . . Oh, yes - staple it to her . . ._ "Consider it payback, Miss Harper. And cover yourself, if you please." 

She looked down, turned redder, and straightened quickly, wrapping her arms about herself. "I lied about my arm, not about the most important thing in the world to you." 

"The most important thing? I am? I seriously suggest you get a life." 

"I have a better idea. Why don't you tell me the whole truth?" 

"Other than the fact that it would probably melt your sorry little mind, I believe I already told you to mind your own business." His questing fingers brushed something smooth. His mask. Why was it in his desk drawer? He paused for a moment, remembering the night before, and the one he had danced with. He had almost figured out who it was, but had lost the thought when he was returned to his cold empty office. The grin that Dumbledore had given him earlier that day did nothing to clear his mind. 

But that was a time dead and gone, and he could savor it when he was too. Sighing with a suddenly heavy heart, he located the wax and sealed the envelope, placing it on the corner of his desk. 

"What's that?" Kerri looked at it curiously. 

Snape rolled his eyes, just barely keeping his temper in check. "Since you apparently haven't the brains to realize what I just said, let's go over this again. _Go away and mind yo-"_

"I heard you the first time!" Kerri snapped. "I was just curious why you're writing a letter at a time like this." 

He snorted and stood up to get his cloak. "Would you be satisfied if I told you it was my last will and testament?" 

Silence greeted this statement, and he glanced up to see her staring at the letter in horror. He shrugged and, pulling on his cloak, headed for the door. Halfway out, he heard her whisper, "That's really what it is?" 

"More or less." he answered, shutting the door behind him. No noise came from inside the room, and he permitted himself one brief hope that she would simply leave him alone for the rest of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was wrong. He had nearly made it to the dungeon stair when he heard the door bang open and footsteps clattering behind him. 

"Professor Snape! Professor, wait!" Kerri stumbled up to him. 

"What?" He sneered at her, expecting her to start whining at him again. But what she said next threw him for a loop. 

"Take me with you." 

***

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Kerri regretted them. Snape spun around and stared at her in disbelief and anger. 

"Are you really that stupid, girl? Walking into a nest of Death Eaters who already have at least two reasons to skin you? What in Merlin's name would you hope to gain?" 

Her gaze faltered, and she stammered, "N-no, I don't want to d-die. I just want to see them and-" 

"And what? Find out how long you can last under the Cruciatus?" 

"No!" 

"But you still want to go." 

"Yes! I want to know the truth." 

"The truth. You actually think you'll find truth anywhere at that party?" Leaning down, he stared into her now-frightened gaze. "Are you prepared to give your life for the truth?" 

Her silence was answer enough. _Figures._ He spun around and stalked off. "Then don't make foolish offers that you don't intend to follow through on." 

"But why are you going? Do you want to die?" 

He paused. "Not particularly. But I'm prepared to." 

"Why?" The confusion was clear on her face by now as she struggled to understand. "The Aurors fight, but they go in planning to survive. You're planning for death. Are you that certain that you aren't going to live through a _party_? You aren't even their enemy!" She clenched her fists. "And what happens if you do die? I'll lose my only chance to discover the truth behind my parent's deaths." 

"No you won't. You'll just lose the _safest_ chance. You simply don't want to risk life and limb for what you claim is the most important thing in the world to you." 

"Whereas you go in blindly, preparing to die for nothing!" 

_For nothing?_ Snape stared at the wall in front of him. _Is her loss really the only thing in the world that matters to her? So therefore, anyone else's is nothing? James, Lily, Barty, Cedric, and all the others? This is too much like me . . ._ "Shut up, girl. Don't talk about things you don't understand." 

"Oh, I think I --" 

"I said shut up. You don't understand. You don't know. And you aren't the only one or even the most worthy of those who have suffered. So you lost an arm, they're replaceable. So you lost your family and friends. _So did we all._ And we moved on. But you don't even have the courage to do that. You just keep sniveling behind your losses, blaming those around you for your pain. You're a coward and a fool, Miss Harper, and I'm ashamed to be associated with you." He sneered at her. "At least I'm willing to give my life for something." 

"I offered to come with you but you turned me down!" 

"You weren't serious, you silly girl. Now go back and hide in your room. Go and hide like the scared child you are. Play with your cats, curl up in your bed, and thank whatever gods you worship that I didn't take you up on your offer." 

Silence. 

Snape turned and left. 

***

Eyes stinging, Kerri watched the black cloak retreat down the hall in front of her. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "And I won't do what you say, either." she hissed under her breath. 

Turning on her heel, she stalked back into his office. She would wait for him here. He would come back and she could confront him again, and make him listen. She refused to think about the possibility that he would _not_ return. He _would_ come back. He had to. 

She curled up in the armchair next to the unlit fire. It was far more comfortable than she had expected it to be, but then again she half-suspected that Snape slept in a coffin. "I'll be right here when you come back," she whispered. "I've got to know." 

She settled back in the chair, pulling her cloak around her. She shivered. It was very cold in the dungeons, and her cloak wasn't what it used to be, but she didn't know if she could light the fire. Still, it couldn't hurt to try. She pulled out her wand, and carefully pointed it at the grate. 

_"Incendio!"_

Kerri held her breath. For a few seconds, nothing happened, then a small flame flicked, then another, and soon the fire was roaring merrily away. She smiled in happy surprise, and settled back in the chair, closing her eyes to enjoy the warmth. 

***

_She opened her eyes. _

She was standing in an empty field, the sky hanging low and dark overhead. Taking a step forward, she felt something crunch under her feet. The blackened grass was scattered with bones. 

She suddenly noticed that she was holding something. She looked down and saw her wand in her hand. But it wasn't her wand. Hers was light and smooth, practically new from the use it got. This one was black and worn. She hefted it, but it did not feel odd in her hand. Rather, it felt as if she was meant to be carrying it. She ran her hand up and down the wood. Her sensitive fingers found a carving in the end. She brought it close to her eyes and gasped. 

It was the Dark Mark. 

Frantically, she tried to throw it away, but it seemed stuck to her hand. She tried to pry it loose, but the wand merely attached itself to her left hand. Distantly, she remembered that it was rumored that Death Eaters used their wands left-handed, to increase their power with the Dark Mark. It seemed that the rumors were true, for the Mark on the handle had come alive. 

In shock, she saw it lift off of the wand, and begin to twine its way up her arm. She began to cry, clawing at it, trying to get it to stop, but to no avail. It settled on her arm, but for only a moment, when it realized that there was no living flesh there for it to burn. It climbed higher, seeking her. She fell to her knees, gasping, as the Mark burnt its way to her chest. She felt it pause, and then, begin to burrow into the skin over her heart. She screamed in pain. 

It felt as if a cold, clawed hand had grabbed her. It felt as if millions of banshees were screaming in her ears. It felt as though Dementors were sucking out her soul. It felt as if every part of her was being looked over, and if not found unholy enough, twisted. 

And then it was over. She unclenched her hands and stood up. She felt the same, no--stronger. Had she defeated it? But even as the thought came to her mind, she knew that it was not true, that it was not her strength. She felt her lips twist in a smile, and she began to walk. The Mark was hunting. Her mind screamed at her to stop, but her body was no longer her own. Moments later, she came upon a body dressed in black. She knew who it was, even before her feet kicked it over. Severus Snape. 

His face contorted as she kicked him, and she realized he was still alive. His eyes opened, and he saw her standing above him, smiling. He tried to stand, but she grabbed him and threw him down, feeling a savage joy. Now she was the strong one, she was the one in power! She knelt, and placed her wand (her wand?) against his throat. The mark burned in her chest. He tried to speak, but her mouth moved first. 

"Avada Kedavra!" 

***

Kerri jerked awake, shocked to find tears running down her face. 


	16. The Streetlamp Dies

"The whir of a can opener or the bark of an unfamiliar dog...will send even the most deeply dozing cat bounding into the kitchen or under the bed." ~ Barbara L. Diamond 

The fire burnt merrily away in the grate, actually managing to make Snape's office look almost welcoming. At least, until one turned around and noticed the pickled creatures and the rather menacing snake decorations. Or the definite black theme. Or the 'thou-shalt-not-breath-without-my-permission' aura that hung in every place that Snape spent more than a few months in. But, despite that, the room was surprisingly cheerful. 

Lilith was not pleased about this. 

She was already without her daily brushings, and now she woke up to find a light flickering under the bedroom door. She hissed, stretched and padded over to investigate. She knew her human wouldn't light a fire in his office if you held a wand to his head, so what was going on? 

Slipping through the door, she made her way down a short, dark hallway, thinking. Her master had been upset this past week. Far more upset than normal. It wasn't about his students, he normally vented about that by flunking a bunch of them. It wasn't Umbridge. That tantrum was usually under-the-breath mumbling about the potions he wanted to feed to her. It wasn't even the girl-who-smelled-of-cats. That called for standing in the middle of the room and questioning the universe what he had done to deserve this. No, this was moping. She stopped and wracked her brains. Moping. That was usually a note from one of his old masters, wasn't it? He had had another summons, apparently. Though this one was more important than the others. The others hadn't required her to miss her grooming. 

She nosed the door open and peered through. There was the figure in the armchair. She sniffed. Not her human . . . What in Feline's name was the-girl-who-smelled-of-cats doing here? She was curled up in the chair making the sniffling noise that humans made when they were cold, sad or sick. Why was she here? Where was Lilith's human? Lilith intended to get some answers out of her. 

Padding up to the chair, she tilted her head and inquired politely, -_Why are you here?_- 

No answer. Drats, she had forgotten that humans could only understand what you were saying if you got in their face and yelled. So she did. Reaching up, she sank her claws into the handiest portion of anatomy and yowled as loud as she could. The girl jerked, yelped and looked down at her, reddened eyes widening in surprise. 

"Sweet Merlin, Professor has a _cat_?" 

-_Yes, he has a cat, you stupid girl. That should be fairly obvious._- Lilith sniffed and began to wash her tail. -_Even you should be able to figure that out._- 

The girl frowned and rubbed her ears vigorously. When she took her hands away, she whispered, "I could have sworn I just heard you talk. But that's ridiculous. Cats can't talk!" 

-_Yours might not. However, I am a familiar. His familiar. We can talk once properly bonded. If you humans ever listen, that is. My name is Lilith. And as I was trying to say, why are you here, and where is he?-_

He's-" But Kerri never did get to explain to Lilith where Snape was because at that instant the fire roared up and went green. The two of them whirled around to face the flames as Professor Umbridge climbed out of them. Kerri went pale and Lilith scurried up the back of the armchair and began spitting at the intruder. -_Go away!_ Go away! _You horrid female!_- She then proceeded to call Umbridge all the nasty names she could think of before turning to Kerri. -_This never would have happened if you hadn't lit the fire!_- 

"Nice kitty." said Umbridge, apparently oblivious to the fact that she was being thoroughly insulted. Her gaze transferred to Kerri, who looked as though she was on the verge of arching and hissing as well. "Where's your teacher, dear?" 

Kerri took several deep breaths to calm herself, though Lilith noticed that the girl's nails were nearly puncturing the upholstery of the chair. "Out g-gathering ingredients. In the forest, I guess." Lilith's head whipped around. _That_ was a lie if she'd ever heard one. In a fairly steady voice even. Apparently the girl had more guts than her human credited her with. 

"In the middle of the night?" asked Umbridge, a hint of scorn in her otherwise smooth voice. 

Kerri actually managed to look semi-disdainful. "There are several herbs whose potency depends on the day and time of which they are picked, as well as flowers that do not bloom during the day. Also," she continued before Umbridge could interrupt, "There are those that must be gathered by the brewer, and only the brewer, for them to be at full strength. Surely, as a high-ranking member of the Ministry, you must know that." She paused, almost trembling from shock at her daring. "Why are you here?" 

That caught Umbridge off guard for a moment, but the sickly-sweet smile was soon back on her face. "You, my dear, are the first secondary student here. As a high-ranking member of the Ministry, I must discuss your lessons with Professor Snape." 

"In the middle of the night?" 

"One must make sure one is not disturbed by students." This time, the sweet tone was the same, but there was a sharp glint in Umbridge's eye as if she were re-evaluating Kerri. The short woman began to move toward Snape's desk as nonchalantly as she could. 

_Professor Snape's letter!_ Kerri saw the corner of it sticking out from under a few papers. Not much was visible, but both witches could see Dumbledore's name on it, which was enough for Umbridge. 

Kerri swallowed hard and tried to distract the other woman. "But surely mealtimes are much more convenient, Professor. This is awfully late for anyone to be up and about." Too late, she realized what she had said. 

Umbridge jumped on her words like a dog on a bone. "That reminds me, why are you here, Miss Harper? As you said, it is rather late at night." She looked the girl up and down, raising her eyebrows. "And dressed as you are, no less." 

Kerri blushed. She'd forgotten that she wore only her nightgown and housecoat. "I-I'm here because I'm supposed to process the herbs when he gets back. It's one of my lessons. I didn't go with him because, well," She hung her head, hoping she looked ashamed, "I got here late and he had already left. So I went back to my room to change into something more comfortable. And then, I came back here to wait." She crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping that the woman would believe the tale. 

"And this?" Umbridge leant down to scoop the letter up, but Kerri was faster that she was. Before the older woman could open the envelope, Kerri had jumped out of the chair and plucked it from her fingers. 

"Oh, thank goodness you found that! It must be my instructions for bottling the herbs correctly. Professor Snape was supposed to leave it on the door, but he must have forgotten, and I didn't want to go through the papers on his desk. I didn't even notice it sticking out!" 

"Are you sure that that's what it is? I don't think that-" Umbridge tried to lean forward to grab it from the girl's hand, but Kerri took a step backward out of her reach. Annoyed, the woman tried again, but again her fingers closed on empty air. Finally, Umbridge lunged for it and Kerri, panicked, stuffed the parchment down her nightgown's bodice. 

"Professor! Of course I'm sure!" She crossed her arms over her chest and took another step back, just to be safe. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to set up the proper equipment for the distillation. I'll tell Professor Snape that you stopped by." She nodded toward the still green fire. "If you'll excuse me. . ." 

Umbridge glared daggers at the girl and began to move forward again. "Listen to me, girl," she said, all traces of sweetness gone from her voice. "You'll give that to me, or-" 

-_Oh, for pity's sake, woman! Can't you see you're not welcome here!_- Lilith jumped down from her perch, walked up to Umbridge, leant over her slippers, and began to make horrible gagging noises. The older woman recoiled, shot Kerri a sour look and scampered through the fire. 

Kerri immediately whipped out her wand and pointed it at the fire. Nothing. With a growl, she dashed off to fill a cauldron with water. With some difficulty, she managed to get it back and pour it over the flames. _I hope Professor Snape doesn't notice the water on the floor when he gets back_, she thought absently, staring at the sodden logs as she replaced her makeshift bucket. 

That done, it took a few moments for her to collect herself enough that she could recall what Lilith had been doing. She glanced down, only to see the slim black cat washing herself. 

"Are you all right? That is, er. . ." 

Lilith gave her a withering look. -_I'm a familiar. Familiars don't get sick unless they want to. It was the best way to get rid of that irritating woman._- 

"Er. . .well . . . Thank you." 

-_If you're that thankful, then brush me. My human was too upset to this evening._- She nodded at a desk drawer. 

This was a little too unreal for the girl, so she took refuge in small talk. "Professor Snape brushes you every evening?" Kerri knelt down and began to rummage through the drawer. There was a surprising amount of stuff in it, she couldn't even see the bottom. She fervently hoped that Snape didn't keep anything sharp or pointy in it. 

Her fingers brushed something smooth. _What . . .?_

-_Of course he does._- Lilith interrupted Kerri's almost-thought. -_He knows how to take care of a cat. Now do hurry up, otherwise I'll be forced to do it myself._- 

Obediently, Kerri yanked her hand back and rummaged deeper. Finally, her hand closed on the brush. "Got it!" she exclaimed triumphantly, shutting the drawer. She went back to the chair, and Lilith climbed up onto the arm. "You know," Kerri commented as she began to brush the cat, "I would have thought that Professor Snape would have had a snake for his familiar." 

Lilith chuckled, an odd sound that was half purr. -_He does seem that way, doesn't he? But a cold-blooded creature wouldn't last a day in this icebox he calls an office. Besides, who would want a snake when they could have a cat?_- 

Kerri smiled at that. Apparently, cats were the same, familiar or no. This cat, though, was as Slytherin as she could imagine a cat being. Black fur, luminous green eyes, a definite attitude. . . A new thought came to mind as Lilith turned around, presenting her other side to be brushed. "You said that Professor Snape was strangely upset tonight?" 

_-Oh, yes. He's been on edge for a while now, but tonight he was really bad. When he was writing that letter you stuffed down your shirt . . .- _

"Letter? My shirt? Sweet Merlin!" Kerri's eyes went wide and she dropped the brush before hurriedly yanking the envelope out. "I can't believe I did that!" She flung the offending parchment back onto the desk. "Yuck! Yuck yuck yuck! I feel . . . slimy . . .now." She stood up and shook herself all over, trying to get the pervading sense of Snape off of her skin. 

The black cat watched her in amusement, but offered no comment until the girl had finished shuddering. _-Why?-_

"What?" Kerri stared at the cat in amazement. 

_-Why do you feel, and I quote, 'slimy now?'-_

"Because it's Professor Snape! I don't want to have anything he's touched be that close to that portion of my anatomy." 

_-I fail to see the problem. I don't mind being touched by him directly. He's really very good with his hands. His touch is soothing, not slimy. You should try it sometime, might get you to unwind a bit.-_

"Thanks, but I'll pass." 

_-Pity.-_

"Says you." Kerri felt her stomach clench and hot blood rush to her cheeks at the idea of Snape touching her. Eeyuck. . . . She sighed, tossing the cat brush to the desk to join the letter. _Why can't the men I know be more like that one at the ball? Kind, gentle, and just the right touch of mystery . . _

A sudden noise from the corridor outside made both cat and girl jump. It sounded as though someone had kicked a large bag down the dungeon stairs. "What in . .!" Kerri exclaimed running to the door. About to open it, she paused. What if it was Umbridge again, or Malfoy? She turned to the cat. "Lilith, is there a way you can go out there and see what that noise was? If it was Professor Umbridge, I don't want to give her a way to come barging in again." 

-_Certainly. I would be glad to. I don't want her to come into my domain again either._- With a flick of her tail the cat turned about and wriggled her way through a crack in the wall. 

Scared as she was, Kerri still had to smile at Lilith. Further proof that the she was just the same as regular cats, just a little more vocal. 

Several minutes ticked by, and Kerri's tired mind began to wander back to the dance again. She had been very proud of her costume. Hermione had transfigured a set of her robes for her and the hair dye potion had been hers. Even without the charm on the place, no one would have recognized her. And that man she had danced with . . . Perhaps a seventh year? Far too mature to be one of the other students, but also far too . . . intriguing to be a teacher. She smiled gently and began to hum the song they had danced to . . 

-_Kerri!_ Kerri!! _Get out here _now!!- 

The cat's shriek sent her staggering. She flung open the door and raced out. 

The first thing she saw was the stairs. The stones of each step were marked by a splash of blood, as though someone had fallen down them. Then the bloody handprint on the wall, and another, and a third, smeared toward the ground. And finally the crumpled figure on the ground, attended to by a frantic Lilith. Kerri clapped a hand to her mouth to keep herself from adding to the mess and staggered towards the body. 

-_Get up! Get up! Please get up!_- Lilith was yelling at the bundle of robes. She turned her face to Kerri. -_He won't get up . . . Kerri, he's not getting up!_- 

Kerri gently picked up the cat in her arms, and held her as she knelt. Lilith was shaking, and dug all of her claws deep into the girl's forearms. The pain was a distant sensation to Kerri at that point as she realized that her robes, where they had touched the floor, were also stained, soaked with blood. She started to feel faint, but came to herself when she realized that a human life was at stake. 

Shakily, she leant forward to see who it was, but even before she pulled aside the hood of the cloak, she half-knew who lay before her. 

It was Professor Snape. 


	17. And the Streetlamp Gutters

Ugh...Finals..Brain hurts...Sorry the chapter took so long. I should have had it done by Thanksgiving, but my professors had other ideas. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can after this. 

***

"A baited cat may grow as fierce as a lion." ~ Samuel Palmer 

Kerri flew backwards in shock and collided with the corridor wall behind her. She stared at her blood-covered hand, whimpering. He was dead, he had to be dead. No human could lose that much blood and still be alive. But if he died . . . 

Gritting her teeth, she pressed her fingers against his neck. Some of the Aurors had tried to teach her Mediwizardry, but with her iffy magic the best she could do was basic first aid and a few simple charms. It just wouldn't do to have a Healer that might not be able to heal. She'd never thought that what she had learned would come in handy, especially not like this! 

She held her breath, feeling around for a pulse. "Come on . . .Come _on_. . ." she muttered, "If you die, Professor, I will dig up your bones and curse them individually and by name. I didn't make up that wonderful lie to tell to Umbridge to have you come along and spoil it by keeling over on your doorstep. Bugger it. . ." Her hand was shaking so hard that she would never be able to tell if there was any life in him. She forced herself to take several deep breaths, ignoring the coppery smell that seemed to invade every part of her. Placing her hand to his throat once more, she carefully slid her fingers to just under his jawbone. Nothing. No, wait . . . Just the slightest of flutters . . . was he . .? 

"I have to do something about his wounds," she muttered, "If I leave him here like this, he'll bleed to death before I can get help!" She needed healing salve, bandages . . . And he needed more blood. She ran down to the classroom and snatched a bottle off the shelves, thanking her lucky stars that Snape had made her spend so long at inventory. However, her frantic search failed to turn up any bandage. She sighed and looked down at her cloak. 

"Oh well, it was pretty much a lost cause after I bled all over it before." 

After a short session of daubing and ripping later, Snape was more or less held together, and Kerri began to breath again. She checked his pulse once more. It was still there, but just as faint. "You still need more blood." She winced, looking at the stairs, the puddle she sat in, and back at Snape. "Lucky for you, I memorized this spell at least." 

Pulling out her wand, she tapped the crook of her right arm before doing the same to Snape. "Not too much, okay? I still have to get you help and I don't want to faint outside the Slytherin Common room." Why she was talking to him so rationally escaped her, but it _was_ keeping her from being sick. Not that this next spell wasn't going to do that to her anyway. "_Exsanguinus!_" 

Having one's blood suddenly and magically sucked out of one's body is not a pleasant experience, even when done by a trained Mediwizard. Kerri was definitely not trained. The initial jolt nearly knocked her unconscious, but she stubbornly held on as she felt her life streaming away. It was a sensation not unlike being pulled down a drain. "Almost . . . Almost . . . _Enough!_" She yanked her wand away, breaking the connection. 

The backlash from _that_ made the first shock feel like a gentle pat on the back. Nausea surged through her, and she doubled over, fighting to keep her lunch down. _Don't . . . you . . . dare!_ she told herself fiercely. _He'll die if you take too long at recovering, and I'd much rather have the pleasure of throttling him myself after all this!_

Finally, the stomach cramps ceased and she was able to sit up and wipe her mouth with the back of her hand, leaving a streak of blood across her cheek. Breathing hard, she saw a slight touch of color return to Snape's face. At the same moment, a sharp shudder ran through him, and her sense of urgency returned in full force. _What now . . .? Cruciatus curse, it causes convulsions, idiot!_ her mind screamed at her. _Just patching him up won't save him!_

She awkwardly scrambled to her feet. "Lilith, guard him! Make sure nothing happens to him! I'm going to go get help!" 

Without waiting for a reply of any kind, she dumped the cat to the stained floor and ran up the stairs, carefully avoiding the blood, and trying not to think about what she looked like. _Who can I go to for help?_ she thought desperately. _Umbridge is the only professor that I know is awake, but I can't go to her. I have no idea were the teachers sleep . . . Maybe I should try the faculty lounge?_ She turned the next corner at top speed. _I just wish I knew where that was . . . The hospital wing! That's--!_

"Oooh! Little ickle K-k-Kerri! Not supposed to be out this late, girl!" 

She screeched to a stop in front of the vicious little ghost. Her heart leapt into her throat. _Oh, not now!_ "Peeves, please, I don't have time for this. You can torture me all you want later, but right now I have to find a teacher." 

"Heeheehee! Not a good idea! Much more fun without one!" To prove his point, several large blunt objects began to float up into the air around them. Kerri felt her stomach clench and the room started to spin unpleasantly. "Ulp . ." she said, screwing her eyes shut. _If I don't move, Professor Snape will die, I'll never learn what really happened to my parents, I'll never be out on my own, Professor Snape will die . . . he'll_ die . . . 

Her eyes snapped open and she plunged her hand into her robes. "_Dammit, Peeves! Get the hell out of my way! Exorcius!_" A jet of bright red light whipped out of her wand, missing Peeves by a hairsbreadth. He yelped and vanished, leaving only Kerri, standing amidst a pile of broken pottery. She glared at the wall he'd gone through. "And if you go near me again, so help me, I'll wring your scrawny little neck, ghost or no!" And, turning her back on the room, she took off running once more. 

***

She finally skidded to a halt outside the hospital wing. Madame Pomfery was already outside, due to the immense amount of noise that Kerri had made on the way down the stairs. She had tripped on the top step, grabbed desperately at a wall hanging, ripped it loose from its bearings, and brought it, and several portraits crashing down the stairs with her. 

"Miss Harper! What in the world . . . you're as pale as a ghost! What happened?" The elderly witch carefully extricated the girl from her wrappings. Raising her voice above the indignant yammerings of the portraits, she began to pummel the girl with questions. "Did you have a relapse from the attack? Did Peeves scare you? You didn't break anything on that trip down the stairs, did you?" After Kerri mutely shook her head 'no' to each question, Madame Pomfrey leaned back and began to regard her with a far less sympathetic look. "Well, it had better be something. You've woken up every patient in my ward, and at least a few of the houses, I'd wager. What is it? Spit it out!" 

Kerri caught her breath and blurted out, "I'm sorry about the noise, I really am, but I was in a hurry, and I didn't have time to take things slowly, it's a real emergency, I did all that I could, but it's just not enough, _Professor Snape's bleeding to death in the dungeons!_" Taking another breath, she continued in a slightly less panicked tone of voice, "I'm afraid I'm going to faint now." 

And she did, right into Madame Pomfrey's shocked arms. 

***

Kerri never did learn how Madame Pomfery managed to get her bundled into a hospital bed, fetch Dumbledore, and get Snape up to another bed without alerting Umbridge. When she finally came to, she was staring at the all-too-familiar ceiling of the Hospital wing, with Lilith on her chest, Snape in the next bed over, and Dumbledore hovering over her. "I'm really starting to hate this bed," she informed him drowsily. 

A gentle smile lit Dumbledore's face, just before McGonagall leant over his shoulder. "You should be thankful that it's not a coffin, young lady. What on _earth_ possessed you to try the Exsanguinus spell on your own? You should know that only trained Mediwizards should use that charm." 

The headmaster patted the woman on the shoulder. "I'm sure that Miss Harper simply did what she felt was best, Minerva. Now why don't you keep an eye on Severus?" Despite her protests, McGonagall found herself steered towards the other bed. Dumbledore turned back to Kerri. "Now, Miss Harper, why don't you tell me how you found Professor Snape?" 

Kerri tried her best, but she was more than a little woozy, and the story came out rather muddled. Despite that, Dumbledore listened attentively, nodding. Lilith helped her fill in the details when her memory completely failed her. When she finished, the headmaster was looking thoughtful, and McGonagall was looking a little ill. "What did that bloody evil snake do to him, Albus?" she muttered. 

"Only Severus can tell us, Minerva," he answered, solemnly. "We'd better go clean up that corridor before tomorrow. At least now we know why Peeves has locked himself in the cupboard." He glanced at Kerri with a hint of a twinkle in his eyes. "Now, you need to rest, my dear. Madame Pomfery will give you a potion to restore the blood you lost, you should be up and about by tomorrow-" 

"But only if you're careful." interjected the Mediwitch from Snape's bed. "I don't want you fainting again. My job is to get you out of that bed and keep you out, despite your best efforts." Kerri had the grace to blush. "Really, girl, only Halloween and you've been here twice. And both times for loss of blood. At this rate you may even break the Weasley twins' record." 

"What about Severus' classes, Albus?" McGonagall asked, "Do we have anyone who can handle them?" 

"Miss Harper, do you think you could-?" 

"NO." 

Dumbledore sighed. "Miss Harper, I'm afraid that you don't really have much of a choice. We need to keep Professor Snape's injuries as secret as possible. Calling in a substitute will cause too much of a stir, whereas if you handle the classes, we can claim that it is part of your curriculum. Not to mention that you are probably one of the few at this school who is qualified to teach a potions class. It will only be for a few days, and I'm sure that Professor Snape will already have written out a lesson plan." 

"But headmaster, I don't think I can handle the students. I don't know how. And some of them, to be honest, scare me. Please don't make me do this. I can't." 

"I can sit in if it turns out to be too much of a problem." McGonagall offered. "I'm sure I could manage it." 

"That would work," mused Dumbledore, "Another teacher looking on, to keep the peace, because you're being tested on the potions, not crowd control. If necessary, we could even use a Polyjuice Potion. Though, I think you may be able to handle it, Miss Harper. After all, what are a few fifth-years after Peeves?" 

"I think I'd rather deal with the ghost," muttered Kerri, collapsing back onto the pillows. 


	18. When the Dawn Comes

"The constant challenge to decipher feline behavior is perhaps one of the most fascinating qualities of owning a cat." ~ Carole Wilbourn 

"I'm going to be sick." 

"You'll be _fine_." 

"No, I'm serious. I'm going to be sick." Indeed, Kerri looked a little wobbly. Ginny grabbed her arm as she sat down hard in Snape's chair. It was just after breakfast, and half an hour before the first class of the day. "I was barely able to _talk_ to a first-year a couple of weeks ago. Now I'm expected to handle the whole class! Why in Merlin's name did Professor Snape have to-" She bit her tongue just in time, keeping herself from blurting out the secret Dumbledore had charged her with. "-to dump this on me? Merlin help me, I'm _not_ a teacher!" 

"Don't worry!" Fred clapped her on the back. "George and I will keep the peace in the class!" 

"_Gods . . ._" 

"Stop it, you two . ." Ginny said warningly. 

The innocent look that the twins pasted on their faces did nothing to calm Kerri's nerves. "Really, Kerri, We'd have it under control. We'd just sneak in, plant a few well placed hexes, and Malfoy will stop being your problem sooner than you can say, 'Snape is a greasy git!'" The girls glared. "It sounds like a good idea to me!" added George defensively. 

Hermione sighed. "I take it that the two of you forgot that McGonagall's going to be sitting in on the class?" 

"Oh." 

"Well, never mind." 

"Looks like you're on your own." 

"Good luck and all that!" 

"Smashing." The twins wandered off, whistling. Ginny watched them suspiciously for a moment then turned to the other girls. 

"I've told Harry and Ron to keep an eye on them so they don't decide to give you a hand after all. McGonagall or no, Umbridge _will_ be there, and I don't think I could withstand the temptation to blow her up either." She laid a hand on Kerri's shoulder. "I'm sorry that I can't help you with anything other than the fourth-years. Hermione and the others will be there for the fifth-years, but . . ." 

"We can't do everything." Hermione finished. "At least you only have our two classes to do today." 

"I know." Kerri managed a sickly-looking smile. "Thanks." Taking a deep breath, she stood. "I'm going to go take a short walk to clear my head. I've got a couple of hours before my first class. I'll see you there?" 

The girls gave her a thumbs-up and watched her go. Once she was out of sight, Hermione asked quietly, "Snape's in the hospital wing?" 

"Yes," answered Ginny, just as quietly. "Ron was there last night for a sprained wrist after Quiddich. He watched Dumbledore and Pomfery bring the two of them in. According to him, Kerri only looked as though she'd lost some blood, but Snape was an absolute mess. Bloody, broken, convulsing, the whole nine yards. He was surprised that he was still alive. From what he heard of the following conversations, Kerri had apparently used the Exsanguinus charm on Snape to try and save his life after he got back from a Death Eater meeting, but . . ." She paused and shook her head, "If he looked like that after she tried to patch him up, I'm not placing any bets on him being back to class anytime soon." 

***

Kerri peeked around the corner and looked in on the Hospital wing. It was, of course, too much to hope that Snape might be feeling well enough to teach the class himself, but it couldn't hurt to check . . . She tiptoed over to the bed and pulled the curtains surrounding it aside. 

Snape was looking much better than he had been last night, but he was still pretty far gone. His eyes were both blackened, his face twisted in a grimace of pain even though he was asleep. Her makeshift bandages had been removed to be mostly replaced by unbroken skin, still pink and new. She winced as she looked him over. _The poor man . ._ She thought reluctantly, her hand involuntarily reaching out towards him. 

"A concussion, five broken ribs, crushed wrist, left leg broken in two places, missing two teeth," said Madame Pomfery from behind her, making her jump and yank her hand back. "And that's not even counting the numerous cuts and the damage caused by the Cruciatus. However, the bones are mended, the teeth regrowing, and the cuts mostly closed up. He's very lucky to still be alive, and he has you to thank for it." She looked down at the man and smiled crookedly. "Not that he will, of course." 

"Of course," echoed Kerri faintly. "When do you think-" 

"He'll be better?" The older witch finished. "Hard to say, really. Could be a few days, could be longer. If you'll remember, you didn't even wake up for a week, and that was just a stomach wound." 

"I think he's probably made of tougher stuff than I am." 

"Hopefully. He has been through much worse." She paused. "I think. By the way, if we have to admit something happened to him, he was attacked by centaurs in the Forest. Minerva's idea." She gave the girl a sharp look out of the corner of her eye. Kerri looked stricken, and although most of that was due to the fact she had to deal with Snape's classes for him, Madame Pomfery would drink a bottle of Skele-grow if that was all. Saving someone's life tended to do that to people. She patted the younger witch on the shoulder and summoned over a chair for her. "Why don't you have a seat and keep an eye on him for a while, dear? I need to check up on some of my other patients." 

Obediently, Kerri sat as Madame Pomfrey ducked back though the curtains. A few moments later, Lilith uncurled from the foot of the bed and padded up to the girl's shoulder. 

_-He hasn't woken up yet, in case you were wondering.-_

"I know. Bloody git." She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. _Those curtains must have been full of dust_, she thought absently. "Even when he's unconscious, he makes my life miserable." 

_-What this all about? Teaching? Just glare down your nose at them and stalk about intimidating-like. That's what he does.-_

Kerri reached over and scratched the cat behind the ears. "Thanks for the advice, but I don't think that it will work for me." 

Lilith gave her a look. _-And whyever not?-_

"Well, first of all, if you haven't noticed, I'd have to glare _up_ my nose at most of them. And I'm not exactly intimidating." She sighed. "I'll be lucky if they even listen to me in the first place. Not to mention that Umbridge will probably be nosing in on one of the classes at least." 

_-The cat-woman is going to be there, though, isn't she?-_

"'Cat-woman'? I hope that that's a compliment, Lilith." McGonagall herself lifted aside the bed-curtains and peered down at Snape. "Still looks like he's met the wrong end of a Skrewt, I see." 

_-That is, of course, implying that there is a_ right _end to meet-_ Lilith added dryly. _-Hello, Minerva, did you bring me something to eat?-_

"It's good to see you too. I'm fine, thank you for asking." McGonagall fished in her robes and pulled out half a tuna sandwich. "Cats are so good at social niceties, aren't they?" She handed the sandwich to Lilith and called over a chair for herself. "Now then. I thought that I'd find you up here, Miss Harper- Good Heavens, are you all right?" 

Kerri tried ineffectually to dab at her eyes. "Yes . . . No . . . That is . . It's just too much . . ." She dug around for a handkerchief. "I-I'm sorry, you must think me an awful crybaby . . ." 

"Hardly." Kerri found a handkerchief dangling in front of her nose, which she took gratefully. "There isn't a witch or wizard in Britain who hasn't felt utterly overwhelmed at some time or another. Small wonder, the goings on. You-Know-Who hasn't even shown his scaly face and yet we're already choosing sides. Fudge and Dumbledore, Dumbledore and Fudge. . . We'll be at each others throats before the first Dark Revel takes place." The older witch sighed, lost in her thoughts. "I almost envy the muggles, they at least get to live in blissful ignorance of the whole thing. You young ones, it's so sad. We thought a least one generation might be able to grow up unscathed by this whole thing, but we don't even have that. A miniature nest of Death Eaters, the Slytherin house. It's all Severus can do to keep them under control and maybe bring a few of them to their senses. And that Umbridge woman! Under the name of the Ministry and protection, she'll make the students so weak that they'll just get plowed right under. I-" She paused and shook her head. "Now look at me. As if you didn't have worries enough. Some counselor I am. Now that I've gotten that off my chest, what's wrong?" 

"It's all my fault." 

"Excuse me?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow. 

"Professor Snape being attacked. It's my fault. If I hadn't asked to come here, or if I'd been stronger, this never would have happened. For some reason the Death Eaters want me, I don't know why, but it's causing all this trouble!" She sniffed again. "Even staying with the Aurors is better if people stop being hurt." 

"Like hell it is," a slightly unsteady voice interrupted. "This has become a matter of personal pride." The two witches glanced down at the figure on the bed. Snape's eyes were still closed, but the familiar sneer was trying to come back, though it plainly hurt him to move even that much. "And stop whining, Miss Harper. Your voice is making my head hurt." 

McGonagall shook her head. "If there's one thing I can say for Slytherins, it's their stubbornness. He may just be up and about by tomorrow. Now, don't start crying again! You have a class to teach!" 

At that, Snape's eyes flew open and he garbled out something to the effect of, "Class -- teach -- _her_-- bloody -- over my dead body--!" He managed to get himself under control and added in a calmer voice, "You had better not be talking about mine." 

"No, Professor, we're talking about the class belonging to the other teacher who's up to his eyebrows in bandages." Kerri said crossly through her tears. "I'm not any happier about this than you." 

"With you teaching, we might as well cancel the class." 

"Well, maybe I might be able to actually teach them something, instead of scaring them so badly, they can barely measure ingredients." 

"You couldn't scare them if you had a boggart floating behind you." 

"I don't _want_ to scare them!" 

"You don't want to teach them either." 

"So -- I -- you -you _git_!" Kerri glared at Snape, who was smirking. She tried to come up with something suitably scathing to say to him, failed, and stalked toward the door with a growl. Halfway there, she heard Snape let out a hiss of pain as he tried to sit up and deliver one last retort. 

She spun around, to see him clutching his chest where a red stain began to spread out over the bandages between his fingers. McGonagall called for Madame Pomfrey at once, who came scurrying over, scolding him loudly as she went. Kerri stared forward, them stopped. What could she do after all? She stood there helplessly as the two witches made him lie back down and submit to rebandaging. 

When the sparkling, red haze of pain receded from his vision at last, Snape looked over at the pale girl. He was shocked to see that tears were running down her cheeks once more, and he could see the slightest trace of well-hidden worry in her eyes. When she noticed him watching her, she bit her lip, but didn't look away. The two stared at each other for a moment, as the older witches looked on silently. Finally, Kerri raised a slightly shaking finger and pointed at him. 

"If you die while I'm teaching, I'll _kill_ you." She stood there for an instant more, lips pressed together, before running off. There was a strange upward twitch at the corner of Snape's mouth as he watched her go. 


	19. Burnt Out Ends

"Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched." ~ Cervantes 

When the fifth-years wandered into the potions room that morning, a good ninety percent of them did a double take. Snape was nowhere to be found, a very pale Kerri sat in his usual place behind the desk, and McGonagall hovered near the corner of the classroom like a fierce bird of prey. As they entered, Harry and Hermione shot the girl reassuring smiles, while Ron gave her a thumbs up. 

Kerri barely noticed these gestures of encouragement. She was shaking like a leaf, and jumping every time a student that came through the door. A growing pile of shredded parchment sat in her lap, and McGonagall had to come over and lay a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from starting on Snape's notes. When Malfoy and his goons came into the room, they began sniggering at every move she made. And to top it all off, just as she stood up to start the class, Umbridge came waltzing in, simpering smile and all. Draco jumped up, all big grins, and offered the woman his chair. 

McGonagall made a noise that sounded remarkably like, "Suck-up." 

Kerri ran a hand through her hair, got it tangled, and pulled it loose to further laughter. This was not going to be fun. Even though she had Snape's notes, knew the potion, and was reasonably sure that she actually might be able to do this, her hands still shook. Badly. And the temptation to hunt down Fred and George in order to take them up on their offer kept getting stronger. 

She carefully flicked her wand and copied the potions instruction up onto the board. "T-today we are working on a restorative draught. The mandrakes you are using are immature, so the potions will not be very powerful, but the procedure is the same for any age of mandrake." She swallowed, and then pronounced what sounded to her like a death sentence. "F-feel free to-to ask questions if you have trouble." 

From reading her Professor's notes, she knew that he normally plastered the recipe up on the board and let them go at it. Nobody was ever brave enough to ask questions. 

"How fine is 'finely chopped?'" 

"Finer than that." 

"How do you put in three and a half drops?" 

"Put seven in another container, then halve it." 

"Which root is which?" 

"The one trying to run away is the Mandrake." 

"Is it supposed to bubble like that?" 

"No." 

"Is it going to explode?" 

"Likely." 

"Dammit." 

Kerri answered the questions as best and as concisely as she could, carefully keeping her trembling hands hidden in her skirts. At one point, she glanced over at McGonagall and received an approving nod. She nodded shakily back, and headed over to Hermione and Neville. 

_Oh dear._ Neville, despite his best efforts, still stared sadly at his cauldron, which contained a mixture that looked more like pea soup than the bright green potion he was supposed to have. "I should be doing better, I just keep expecting to find Professor Snape hovering over me." He stirred at his potion again and it spat blue sparks at him. "Where did I go wrong?" he asked miserably. 

Kerri was about to answer when she was interrupted by a mocking voice behind her. Unfortunately for Neville, Malfoy had overheard his question, and felt to was necessary to answer. "Well, where to begin . . . You were born, and-" 

"Very clever, Mr. Malfoy." Kerri cut short the monologue that would have weighed heavily on her already frayed nerves. "Now, do shut up." 

"Harper, I-" 

"Miss Harper, if you don't mind." 

"I do, but anyway . . . _Miss_ Harper, I don't think that a teacher should talk that way to students." 

"Not that you care a wink when Snape tells any Gryffindor to shut up," muttered Harry over his cauldron. The students surrounding him chuckled. 

The stress finally took its toll on Kerri, and she snapped, "Well, that's all right then, since I'm not a teacher, and if you put as much effort into your other classes as you do in this one, I don't really see how you are going to be a student much longer." She leant over and poked at Malfoy's potion . "Really, Mr. Malfoy, what _is_ this supposed to be?" 

Malfoy looked a few steps short of murderous, and pointedly turned his back on her before talking loudly to those around him. "You know, Professor Umbridge is a _very_ high ranking member of the Ministry. I'm sure that she could remove any teachers, or _potential teachers,_ that she felt were not doing their jobs." 

Whatever result he was expecting, he didn't get. Kerri raised a visibly shaking hand to rub her eyes and asked, "Draco, why do you do this to me? I've done nothing that warrants this. Why are you such a git to everyone? I don't want you as an enemy," A grimace. "I've got enough of those as is. You've lived a privileged life compared to most, so why do you lash out at us all?" 

There was a beat of silence as Kerri saw Draco stiffen as though someone had stabbed him. Slowly, he turned around and looked her in the eye. "Privileged? _Privileged?_" he hissed, "Is that what you think? Mudblood, if you knew for a second-" He stopped and got himself under control. "It's none of your business." 

Shocked speechless, Kerri stared at him. The class continued on around the two as if nothing had ever been said. Draco held eye contact for a moment more before slumping back into his chair and viciously attacking his mandrake with his knife. Kerri backed up a few steps and shot a helpless glance at McGonagall. The professor shook her head ever so slightly and gestured that she return to helping Neville. Obediently, she went, but she couldn't help looking over her shoulder at Draco every once in a while. 

***

The rest of the class passed uneventfully. No more potions exploded, and nobody turned themselves into toads. In fact, save for Umbridge's little coughs, Kerri had almost calmed down. But every time she walked past the front row, the squat professor cleared her throat. _I swear, if she does that one more time, I'm going to . . ._

_"Hem, hem!"_

Kerri twitched visibly. With an exaggerated sigh, she turned to Umbridge and smiled sweetly. "Yes, Professor?" 

"Yes, well, I was wondering . . ." The toad-like woman stopped and made a great show of thinking hard. 

"Yes?" 

"Do you actually expect to ever teach students one day? Because I really don't ever see that happening. You simply aren't teacher material." 

Snickers from the Slytherin side. Draco didn't look up. Kerri gritted her teeth. "As opposed to you, I presume?" 

"Well yes, of cour-" 

Kerri's mouth ran away from her once more. "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I'll just stop challenging the students to think for themselves, feed them the pre-digested knowledge that you find in textbooks, favor them simply because of parentage, and hand them the O.W.L.S. on a silver platter, then." She leant over the desk to glare at Umbridge, not even noticing that the class had gone utterly still to watch the confrontation. "And _then_, I will allow You-Know-Who to simply run them over because they haven't a _clue_ of what to do." 

Umbridge puffed up and frowned in anger. "Miss Harper, I find that extremely rude. You are still a student and as such-" 

"I am Professor Snape's student, not yours, thank Merlin. Nerve-wracking as it is, at least I will actually learn something from him. You, on the other hand, seem to be capable of nothing beyond the paragraphs of a book." Umbridge turned red, and Kerri distinctly heard McGonagall snicker. "Although, nosing around where you don't belong appears to be a talent of yours as well." 

"A week of detention!" screeched Umbridge, now a rather becoming shade of fuchsia. 

Just as livid, Kerri crossed her arms and leant back in a perfect Snape pose. Looking down her nose, she declared, "You know, you're actually rather amusing, in a 'What-the-hell-is-your-problem' sort of way." 

The look on Umbridge's face almost made the week of detentions worth it. 


	20. Wither Away

"I am indebted to the species of the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a great control over myself, for characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long periods of time." Colette 

"I looked in on your potions class, Severus." Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling. "She appears to be handling it rather well." 

"She's trying to kill Malfoy, isn't she?" 

"Well, I wouldn't say that, exactly-" 

"And has she told Dolores to go to hell yet?" 

"Again, not quite-" 

"Oh yes, and is there a smoking crater where my lab is supposed to be?" 

"Severus, that is rather unkind of you." Dumbledore shook a finger at him. "She's better at potions than that. Besides, I'm sure you would have felt the shock, even all the way up here. Only one potion has exploded so far, and for a Mandrake elixir that's very good." 

Snape sighed, still a painful process, though rapidly becoming less so. Poppy was a wonder. "So what is she doing?" 

"Well, she's got the potion up on the board, and has been answering questions without any trouble. The potions appeared to be coming along nicely by the time I left." 

"Yes, other than the one that exploded, of course. Very nice," the younger man snapped, "And the bad news?" 

"You are _such_ a pessimist, Severus." 

"I'm a realist." Snape rubbed his temples. "Albus, as much as we'd both like to think you're only here to exchange pleasantries . . ." 

"Yes, I know." Dumbledore bowed his head and stared at his hands in silence for a moment. "Severus, why didn't you tell me you had been summoned? We could have done something." 

"I know, but-" 

"But you needed to make sure that they didn't suspect I was helping you. I know. I read your letter, I know that you were trying to prevent help in order to preserve your ruse. And yes, some help would have let the cat out of the bag, but at the very least we could have been waiting at the door for you." 

"Yes, but I-" 

"No. You very nearly _died_, boy. You owe your life to that girl. If she hadn't been down there, you would have bled to death, if the nerve damage hadn't finished you off first." Dumbledore adjusted his glasses and looked piercingly at the younger man. "All the information in the world is not worth your life." 

"My life? Ha! My life isn't worth a thing. I'm a dirty rotten Death Eater, remember? I'm a thief and a murderer, and an ugly, greasy, cruel, vicious man. Every student in this school would love to hear that I was gone." 

"Severus, if you continue to talk that way, I shall have to have Poppy come over here and sedate you." He leant forward in his chair, "And you are quite wrong. I can think of quite a few students who would be absolutely crushed if you had died. And before you ask, no, not all of them are Slytherin. You are not a thief, you are not a murderer. You are actually quite honorable, despite what you've been telling yourself. And even though you ought to work on your people skills a little, I think that rather a lot of us would miss you." 

"You're giving me this lecture now because I can't get up and run away, aren't you?" 

"Yes, well, I seem to remember you using the exact same tactic on Miss Harper a few weeks back." Dumbledore sighed and reached under his chair to pull out a cloth-wrapped bundle. "I hate to change the subject, Severus, but we have to know what happened at the Dark Revel." The cloth fell away, revealing the silvery glow of the Pensive. "I'm sorry, but you know that this is the only way to get an accurate account." 

"I know, Albus. I've done this before." He closed his eyes and lay back on his pillow as Dumbledore carefully placed his wand against his temple. The process was simple, merely the downloading of memories that were dulled by pain or shock. Simple, at least for the one who was downloading the memory. For the owner of the memory, the experience was quite different, much like being hit with the Legimens spell. They relived the memory. Completely. Nothing, not anger, not tears, not even pain was left out. Some preferred to be sedated for such a process, but Snape knew he'd have enough nightmares as is, and felt no desire to start early. 

He felt the cool, silvery touch of a thought slip through his skin. He closed his eyes and let himself fall backward into his mind. 

"Severus, are you enjoying your drink?" Lucius Malfoy hovered at his elbow, ever the concerned host. "Perhaps I could get you another?" 

Snape sneered. "Don't bother, Lucius. I'm afraid that my close proximity to _those_," He gestured dismissively at the night's entertainment -- a cage of muggles, "has rather ruined my taste for alcohol at the moment. Once they're gone, I'll take you up on your offer." 

As Malfoy slithered away, Snape barely restrained a shiver of disgust. How was it that that man could act so normal with a cage of helpless human beings at one shoulder and the most vile wizard known to man at the other? The shiver quickly tuned into a mocking smile. Foolish. The same way that he managed to act totally unconcerned when he knew he was about to die. It was a bloody good thing he hadn't taken Kerri up on her offer, the girl couldn't keep up a pretense to save her life. He frowned. Now was not the time to be thinking of such things. 

Despite himself, he found his eyes drawn to the throne at the center of the room. A tall, pale man sat in it, toying with his wand as if it were a knife. He ate nothing, he drank nothing, though a goblet of wine sat at his elbow. Athough the room was brightly lit, it seemed to Snape as though the Dark Lord sat clothed in shadows. Maybe he even produced them himself. 

Snape shuddered and turned away, but not soon enough. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Dark Lord smile. 

Several hours later, the muggles were gone, the Death Eaters were sated and Snape was worried. Why was he still alive? He has expected to be included in the nights entertainment. Perhaps his fears were unfounded? Glancing coldly and the stained floor, he felt his stomach twist. No. The Dark Revel was still in full force. He was to be . . . _special_ entertainment. 

Almost in answer to his thoughts, he found the elder Crabbe and Goyle at his shoulders. Their heavy hands wrapped around his upper arms and spun him around to face the throne in the center of the room. He noted vaguely that their fingers easily spanned the distance around his biceps. In one motion, the two hulks threw Snape at the foot of the throne. 

"Hello, Severus." Voldemort tapped his wand against his pallid palm and smiled again. 

Snape swallowed. Hard. _No, no fear._ He climbed to his feet, brushed the dust off his robes and sent withering looks at the two men flanking him before turning his attention to the throne. "My lord?" 

"It has come to my attention that you may have some important information for me that you have not been as free with as I would like. Perhaps you would care to tell me? I would hate to have to force you." 

With very little effort, he twisted his face into a mask of confusion. "My Lord, I don't understand..." 

"For instance," the Dark Lord interrupted, "news about the Muggle-born situation at Hogwarts. Are there any who are forgetting their place? Or tell me what Dumbledore has been up to. Or about the little wench who was assigned to you as a student, hmm?" The tapping wand increased in tempo. "Are you keeping her all to yourself, Severus?" 

All at once, he did understand. Voldemort was looking for new prey. And threatening half-bloods and their families were the first on his list. He wanted names of families to terrorize and kill. Maybe not now, but when his power was stronger he would strike. 

Snape's mouth went dry and he had to lick his lips several times to force the next words out. "My Lord, I have told you all I know. The muggle-borns are weak, easy prey. The Ministry itself is seeing to that. You need not concern yourself with them. Potter and his lackeys are the only trouble, but that is nothing new. Dumbledore does nothing but grow old. The girl," he sneered, "is worthless. A quivering wreck who can barely operate through her own neuroses. As I have said there is nothing left to tell, let alone use." 

The tapping of the wand stopped as it was leveled at him. "I'm afraid I'm having some trouble believing that, Severus." 

_Oh, God..._

The pain wrapped around him, nearly a living thing. It crept its way into every opening, every pore. It was not gentle. It grabbed him and raped him and pulled him inside out, airing his entrails for all to see. His legs gave out and he hit the floor, clawing at it. Nothing could have kept him on his feet. The pain cared nothing for his pride. He heard himself keening like an animal. 

"Tell me, Severus," The voice was soft, almost loving, "Tell me and it will all be over. We all know you have something to tell..." 

One thought only surfaced in his mind. _I can't tell. I'm a teacher, dammit! I will not let more of my students become orphans. On the last bit of honor that remains to me, I swear I will not tell!_ "My Lord," he whispered through cracked and bitten lips, "I have nothing to tell." 

The Dark Lord hissed in annoyance. The wand was leveled at him again. He tried to scream, tried to run. The curse hit him again and he convulsed. Dimly, he was aware of the Dark Lord leaving his throne. Suddenly, cold fingers gripped his chin, forcing his head upwards. He looked into Voldemort's eyes, heard the hissing voice. 

"There must be something you wish to tell me? Everyone has a secret. No? Perhaps you will tell me, once the pain has lowered your defenses." The icy touch of a wand against his forehead. _No . . . no . . .I can't-! _

_"Legilimens."_

Pain. He felt himself weakening. Pain. Voldemort began digging deeper still into his mind, trying to find proof of his spying. Pain. He saw blood on the floor, he must have bitten through his lip. Pain. He heard the Dark Lord snarl as nothing came to the surface, felt the wand dig into his skin, saw another Death Eater cast the Unforgivable on him. Pain. Pain. Pain fear anger hate_blooddeath . . . ._

Gone. 

He fell to the floor again with a sickening crunch as Voldemort released him. "I suppose you may be telling the truth after all. Perhaps. Take him away. He is of no more use to me at the moment. Do what you wish." A coarse laugh behind him. More hands grabbed him and hauled him to his feet. A fist headed towards his face, a flash of a knife- 

Suddenly he was pulling away, the pain vanishing. At first, he thought, mercifully, that he had died. Then, as his muddled brain cleared, he realized that he was lying back in the hospital bed. He unclenched aching fingers, looked up into Dumbledore's concerned face. He was soaked through with sweat, and breathing in great ragged gasps. 

After a few moments he managed to croak out, "I hope you soundproofed this area, Albus." 

The fact that Poppy hasn't come swooping down and banished me from her sight should prove that point. They are getting crueler, Severus." 

"Tell me something I don't know." He began to get his breath back, noting the soreness of his throat. He must have been screaming. 

Dumbledore rewrapped the Pensieve, obviously deeply disturbed. "Are you certain that you wish to keep doing this?" 

Snape waved a hand in the air. "It doesn't really matter. Either way, I'll eventually end up dead, So what's the point?" 

"You eventually end up dead from _living._ It certainly does matter. I'd rather you not get there sooner than you should." The headmaster's voice was gentle. "You've gone thorough more pain in your forty years of life than most people do in a hundred. You don't need to go through any more." 

Snape frowned. "And my students...? I have to make amends for the pain I've caused. For the sorrow. For the deaths. This is the only way I can." He looked up, eyes suddenly fierce, "It's the only way I can live with myself! The only way..." He trailed off and closed his eyes. "The only way..." he whispered. 

A hand rested on his forehead. "Get some sleep, Severus. I'll get Poppy to give you a potion." 

Snape just lay there as the hand was removed. 

Dumbledore rose, and slipped out of the curtains. He motioned to Madame Pomfrey, who nodded and went to fetch the dreamless sleep potion. It was dangerous, but just this once was fine. Just this once. 

As he left the infirmary, the headmaster slipped a hand into his robes, pulling our a crumpled piece of parchment. He smoothed it out and once again, read the postscript of Snape's letter. 

_P.S. Albus, please, make sure nothing happens to Miss Harper._


	21. Omake 2

**_Note_** (If anyone actually reads this part...)

My motherboard has fried itself completely, and my computer has become one large, expensive paperweight. I managed to pull my fics off of it before it went under, but until I find a program that will open them, my writings may be on hold. Hence the short little extra I whipped out here. I'll keep you guys updated in my Author profile as best I can. Thanks for reading!

**Omake #2-The Secret Diaries of Willow**

_Note: Dates of journal entries not necessarily correct. Cats have a very bad sense of time. _

**Day 36-** Kerri has gone off again...this time without silly clothes. Just bed-clothes. _Humans_. Honestly If they'd just wear fur like cats, their lives would be _so_ much easier. Muttering something about dances and figuring out who people were. Phfeh. Could tell her who everyone was, but would break Code of Cats by being helpful.

Did I just say that out loud? Bugger.

**Day 36 (later)- **Kerri not home. Displeased.

**Day 36 (still later)- **Kerri better not be in Hospital wing again.

**Day 37 (very early)-** That's it, am shredding the comforter.

**Day 37 (still very early)-** Comforter a little big actually...will destroy pillows instead.

**Day 37-** Was right, Kerri in hospital wing. Did something stupid with magic. Strange Black Cat came by to give me news. Apparently belongs to Nasty Git. Somehow remains sane despite it. Nasty Git also in hospital wing. Perhaps voodoo doll is working after all. Did not mention voodoo doll to Black Cat as she is both cute and twice my size.

**Day 38-** Kerri is going to teach Nasty Git's classes! Since Nasty Git is congealing in hospital room, Kerri has to babysit his classes. Kerri has already worn track into rug from fretting. Has not noticed current state of pillows. Am presently thanking lucky stars.

**Day 38 (later on)-** Kerri returned from teaching in massive huff, shouting something about a "Toad-woman." Was confused, so went to investigate. Found Toadwoman's office with help of Black Cat. Was severely disturbed by pictures on wall. Expressed this by using potted plant for litterbox. Also sharpened claws on desk and deposited hairball in slippers. Black Cat praised me for my efforts. Have decided to make voodoo doll of Toadwoman instead of Nasty Git.

Am very pleased with myself. _Purrrrr....._


	22. The Dew on the Sunflower

A/N: I'm back, with a new chapter and a new computer! hugs her new laptop Due to writing withdrawal, this is an especially long chapter. 7 ½ pages on my computer. Before we'd begin I want to thank you all again for your patience and your reviews, especially elvesmagic010, for adding me to his/her/its (sorry, I don't know!) C2 community and to frogfoot24 for submitting my 100th review. :) _

* * *

If a dog jumps into your lap it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing it is because your lap is warmer. -A. N. Whitehead _

"Tch." Kerri made a disproving noise in the back of her throat as she looked over the essay in front of her. Dipping her pen in the vial of red ink she had borrowed from Professor McGonagall, she began to cross out huge chunks of it. "You would think that a fifth -year would know the difference between Ginger and Juniper!" she complained to Willow. The little cat was crouched on the desk in front of her, watching the quill pen closely.

She'd managed to teach a week of classes, surviving in spite of Umbridge, her still-looming detentions next week and the bubotuber incident in the first-years class. Snape was recovering swiftly, but Dumbledore thought it best that he stay in the Hospital Wing for a full week. She'd protested, of course, but to no avail. So now she was stuck teaching the rest of _his_ classes, and grading _his_ essays. She growled and took out her frustration on the poor, defenseless piece of parchment.

So absorbed in the grading was she that she nearly fell out of her chair in shock and scored a great thick line across the paper when someone knocked on her door. She glared at the offending line, pulled out her wand and attempted to fix it. However, a few sad wisps of smoke were all she could produce. _Guess my luck's run out again._ She smacked the tip of the wand against the desk in annoyance, but stopped quickly when it began spitting sparks at her. Willow backed up and looked at her reproachfully.

Suddenly remembering why she'd caused the mess in the first place, Kerri hurried over to the door, hoping her visitor hadn't left yet. She opened it to a faceful of confetti and two very familiar claps on her back.

"Congratulations on your first detention!" the twins crowed.

"Wha?" she sputtered, wiping glitter from her eyes.

"In honor of your first detention-"

"-Week of detentions-"

"-And first mouthing-off to Toad-Woman-"

"-Absolutely brilliant-"

"-Well, for an amateur, at least-"

"-Anyway, we were saying-"

"-We're taking you to Hogsmeade!"

"C'mon, the others are waiting."

"I-eh-wha-why?" was all that Kerri could get out as Fred and George grabbed her and spirited her off down the hallway.

* * *

"You did warn her, didn't you?" demanded Hermione as Kerri was dragged up to the front gates a few moments later. The twins looked hurt and started to protest. She blinked at the glitter still clinging to Kerri's hair and shook her head. "Nevermind. I don't want to know." 

"C'mon, you slowpokes! They're leaving!" Ron waved his arms frantically at them. As they jogged over to him, Kerri looked around. "Where's Harry?"

Both Fred and George winced. Ginny glanced at them in worry then ducked her head close to Kerri's and whispered, "He's not really feeling up to going." she paused, then, prompted by Kerri's questioning look, continued. "You didn't hear? Umbridge got him, Fred and George banned from the Quiddich team...permanently."

"_What?_" Kerri's shriek of outrage made heads whip around all over. Blushing a deep scarlet, she clapped a hand over her mouth, suddenly feeing the weight of those eyes. Did they have to stare so? The dozens of unfamiliar faces were making her panic. "S-sorry. Sorry." As she tried to keep from looking at anyone, she felt her foot come down on a round rock. Involuntarily, she yelped again, falling through the hands that grabbed for her. She hit the ground, curling up in terrified, pained embarrassment. _Stop looking at me! Stop, please! Stop..._

"Miss Harper, if you continue to shriek like that, I will inform Hagrid to add you to his curriculum. That decibel clearly does not belong in the human range." A slow, silky voice threaded its way into her terror. As unwelcome as it was, she mentally grasped onto it like a lifeline, clinging to its familiarity.

Looking up, she saw Professor Snape standing over her with a sneer. Reaching down, he pulled her roughly to her feet, ignoring the indignant yells of her friends behind them. Holding her at arms length, he looked her up and down, a cursory inspection for injury that nonetheless brought heat to her cheeks. "Do you mind?" she hissed at him.

He released her at once. "Just making sure that you didn't manage to sever a main artery or something of the like," he said coolly. "I wouldn't put that past you, really."

"Says the man who just spent the last week in the Hospital Wing." she retorted quietly, adjusting her skirts. "Speaking of which, why are you here?"

He sighed. "Poppy though I ought to 'get some fresh air before I wither away.' Unfortunately for me, she said it in Albus' hearing. Thus, I am burdened with the dubious pleasure of escorting this lot to Hogsmeade. And you? Don't you have papers to grade, Miss Harper?"

"I'm going with my friends." she snapped, "They invited me, and I'm going. You can grade your own ruddy papers because I am this close to burning the lot of them-"

"Very well."

"-and no matter what you say-what?" It took a couple of seconds for Kerri's brain to catch up with her mouth. She blinked at him blankly. "What?"

"I said, 'Very well.' You're quite sure you didn't hit your head after that rather amusing fall? By all means, be out of my hair for several hours. Just don't get yourself lost or snatched by a roaming Death Eater." Snape shrugged, hen began to walk past her. He stopped as a thought had occurred to him, turned, and placed a hand on her shoulder. He bent to whisper in her ear. "I will, however, require your presence at the Three Broomsticks at three-o-clock this afternoon. Do try not to be late once in your life."

Kerri twisted about to look him in the face, but only caught a quick glimpse of his eyes as he straightened and stalked off, throwing a sneering glance at the cluster of Gryffindors as he passed. "Bugger you." she muttered to herself as she watched him go, "You could have just asked."

* * *

After getting of the train in Hogsmeade, Kerri was in awe. She's never imagined such a beautiful place existed. The twins teased her briefly about acting like a muggle, but she only waved them off as she ran from store window to store window. When she came to Honeydukes, she let out a cry of delight and dove inside. 

By the time the others caught up with her, she was already happily nibbling away at a fist-sized hunk of chocolate. She explained to them as they filled their own bags of goodies that it had been the only candy allowed inside the Auror headquarters and she'd developed quite the addiction.

"You should have met Professor Lupin." said Ginny absently as she examined the displays. "Do y'think Harry would like some Chocolate Frogs?"

"I suppose so, but you , 'Mione and Ron know better than I. Wasn't Lupin the werewolf?"

Yeah, but he was ten times the DADA teacher that Umbridge will ever be!" announced Ron as he leaned over Ginny's shoulder to get a fistful of frogs.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean-that is, I-" Kerri stopped, flustered and tried again, "I wasn't saying that there was something wrong with being a werewolf."

" 'Sokay. Didn't think you were. Y'know Kerri, you ought to try some of the candy that George and I make sometime."

Kerri looked over Fred's shoulder at Hermione, who was frantically making 'no' gestures and grinned weakly, "Er…thanks, but…um…" she cast about for a change of subject. "Er…So Professor Lupin really liked chocolate?"

"Always had some." said Ron around a mouthful of frog. "'Course, most of it was because it's a Dark Arts remedy. Dementors, you know."

They paid for their candy and wandered out of the store. Kerri cast a quick look at the huge clock in the center of town. Good. Only noon. She had plenty of time before she had to meet Snape. She looked back down in time to see the rest of her group duck into Zonko's. Ginny stopped at the door and waved to Kerri.

_Joke shop? No thanks. I'd be too tempted to actually use the stuff I bought._ "I'll meet you back out here. I just want to walk around some more." she called over to the redhead. Ginny nodded and disappeared inside.

Sticking another chuck of chocolate in her mouth, Kerri wandered next door to examine the windows of Gladrags. She really needed a new cloak after what happened to the last one. She surreptitiously glanced in her purse, then grimaced at the prices. Maybe the next time she got to Diagon alley, she could go to the second-hand shop. Or maybe one of her friends had a spare one. She shivered. Definitely needed one soon. It was November after all.

"Why am I not surprised that you forgot your cloak, Miss Harper?"

"Why am I not surprised you couldn't pass up a chance to make a snarky comment, Professor Snape?" She turned to see him glowering down at her.

"You do realize, Miss Harper, that were you a regular student, your house would be in the negative values for points?"

"I doubt I'd care even if I were." She stepped a little closer and hissed under her breath, "In case it slipped your mind, my cloak was sacrificed to hold your ungrateful hide together, Professor." She felt her stomach twist somewhat at the memory.

Something flickered in the back of Snape's eyes, before it was quenched by another sneer. "Yes, I do remember. It was wool, wasn't it? Not very high quality either, given how I itched for a week afterward. I suggest you purchase something a little better next time, if you can keep from spending your money on those cats of yours?" He waved away her indignant look and headed off to deduct points from a pair of Gryffindors who had just run by.

Kerri clenched her fists in fury. It was all she could do not to pick up a rock from the path and fling it at the black-haired head in front of her. As she stood there, trying to decide whether to scream or cry, she heard a footstep behind her.

Stomach clenching, Kerri spun around…to see the cheerful, open face of a boy not much older than herself. He beamed down at her and said, "He ain't changed much, has he?"

"N-no," she found herself stammering, "I-I suppose not. Were you a student at Hogwarts?"

"Aye. Only, what, two years back? Had ol' Snape there as a professor, same as you. Didn't mouth off quite as much, though."

Kerri blushed and hung her head. The boy laughed and stuck out a hand. "I'm Dillon, miss. I help Ma and Dad with the sweetshop here."

Kerri took the proffered hand, but couldn't resist a glance at his left forearm, hating herself all the while for being so suspicious. It was as unblemished as the day he was born, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "P-pleased to meet you, Dillon. I'm Kerri." She noted, with some pride, that her voice barely shook at all. "I'm studying potions with Professor Snape."

"Ah, I overheard some of the Weasleys talking about you last Hogsmeade trip. I must admit that I was curious about you." The slightest touch of color infused his already rosy cheeks. "Um…I don't mean to impose, but could I invite you over to the Three Broomsticks for some butterbeer? That is if you don't want to look around Hogsmeade some more."

Kerri debated for a moment. She did come to Hogsmeade with her friends, but it seemed rude to turn down such a nice boy. After all, it was a small village, the others could find her fairly quickly if they needed her. And maybe it would show Professor Snape a thing or two if he saw her carrying on a conversation with a complete stranger. Perhaps it would show him she wasn't a complete failure after all. Part of her was slightly bothered by this thought. Why should she care what Professor Snape thought of her? And why should she use this poor boy to change his opinion?

_Shut up!_ she told herself fiercely. _I have every right to spend some time with a boy my own age! I'm doing this for myself and no one else! I deserve a normal life, the kind of life that's been denied to me up until now. Why can't I have it? A life away from the Aurors and away from Professor Snape? _

And why am I not completely sure I want it?

She managed to squelch her doubts, somewhat, but not enough to be able to return Dillon's open, honest smile. Stretching her mouth into the closest parody she could manage, she said, "I'd be happy to join you, Dillon." After a moment of hesitation, she took his proffered arm and walked off with him, determined to enjoy herself.

* * *

_Little bitch._ Snape watched the pair wander off toward the Three Broomsticks. When the boy had asked her to join him, he'd noticed several barely discernable emotions flicker across Kerri's face. He was certain the boy hadn't caught any of them. He remembered Dillon Honeydukes from his classes. A friendly boy, if a bit simple, sorted into Hufflepuff, of course. Granted, the boy didn't have the advantage of having spent nearly three months with the crazy little thing and her various personalities. 

Indecision, anger, and one quick flash where she looked at the boy as if he were a choice ingredient for one of her potions; appealing, but merely in a clinical, useful sense. The flickers of emotions meant, as best he could tell, that she wasn't sure if she should accept the invitation, but for some reason she had concluded that it was in her best interest. Likely using the poor, stupid boy as a way to get back at him, Snape thought. For what, he was unsure. Decidedly Slytherinish, oddly enough. He would have never considered her a possible candidate for his house before now. He'd always figured her more for Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.

Considering this new development, Snape stared absently through the Gladrags window. A thought tickles the back of his brain. _Perhaps I…it was her own fault…she hasn't the money…she made the decision, she should live with the consequences…Albus will kill me if I don't… _He scowled furiously, and turned his back on the display. _I won't be beholden to her for anything…but I won't give her the easy way out either!_

* * *

Kerri _was_ actually beginning to enjoy herself. Dillon had regaled her with stories of his school days, and she'd responded in turn, wishing she had more stories of her own to tell. She'd already gone through the majority of her three months at Hogwarts, minus the Death Eater attacks, when the others showed up to rescue her. The seven of them had spent an amusing couple of hours chatting away and sipping butterbeer. Ron discovered that Dillon had been the keeper of the Hufflepuff Quiddich team, and began grilling him on his favorite plays. They all bemoaned the loss of a good fraction of the Gryffindor team (Dillon none too seriously), and expressed horror at what the ministry had done to the school.

When Kerri left to get the next round, Hermione followed her.

"So, what do you think?" the frizzy-haired girl asked.

"Of the butterbeer? It's a little sweet for my taste, really, but not bad."

"No, silly! Of Dillon! The poor boy's been making eyes at you the whole conversation."

Kerri sighed and leant against the bar. "Honestly? I have the same thoughts about him as I do the butterbeer. I've never dealt with sweet in a human being before, and it's a touch overwhelming." Hermione gave her a 'you're joking' look. "No, really. The Aurors aren't much for cuddling, and I went straight from them to Professor Snape, who's about as sweet as quinine." She shrugged. "It's not unpleasant, and I could get used to it, but would it be an unkindness to lead the poor boy on while I'm making up my mind?"

Hermione shook her head. "I have news for you, Kerri. Most people in this world aren't like Snape. I wouldn't want to live here if they were. Dillon is a nice man. A kind, sweet, loyal man. I think that you would have to have a very good reason not to let this chance slip through your fingers. And I don't think you have one."

Kerri glanced over her shoulder and hissed, "Hermione, you're making it sound like a life decision!"

"Isn't it?"

"Alright, alright, I'll give him a chance. Who knows, I could get to like sweet. Considering the alternative…"

"Which you had better get used to, Miss Harper, if you intend to get anything done under my supervision."

Kerri winced and spun around. "Do you enjoy sneaking up on me or something?" she demanded.

Snape crossed his arms and stared down his nose at her. "Not especially. If you actually paid attention to the world around you it wouldn't seem as though I was. Now, if I may intrude on your precious social time? Or have you forgotten that I need to speak with you? You did at least manage to be in the right place at the right time, though in the wrong company."

She glared at him. "Just a moment. Hermione, do you have a quill?" Uncertainly, Hermione dug in her robes and pulled out the asked-for item. Kerri thanked her and marched over to the table where the others sat. Scribbling her owling address on a napkin, she handed it to Dillon with a smile. She returned, gave the quill back, and looked at Snape expectantly. "What did you need Professor?"

He pointed to a corner table. "Sit."

She sat.

He joined her a moment later. "What did you give to Mr. Honeydukes?"

"That, Professor, is none of your business. What did you need to talk about?"

He shrugged, dismissing his question as unimportant. She was to get no satisfaction in denying his curiosity. "We have obtained all of the ingredients necessary for the brewing of Veritaeserum. If you have no objections, I would like to start brewing as soon as possible. You will meet me in the dungeons every evening this week and-"

"Professor," Kerri interrupted, "I have detention with Professor Umbridge at that same time."

He looked at her with some surprise. "Really? How in Merlin's name did you manage that?"

"Er…I…um…I insinuated that she was a less than adequate teacher."

"Miss Harper, the truth if you please."

She hung her head and muttered something.

"Louder, Miss Harper. I am not sitting on the floor."

She sighed. "I told her she was incompetent and nosy. Then I asked her what the hell her problem was. She took it…poorly."

"I can imagine." Snape said dryly. "I'll have to have a word with her." Kerri looked up at him in surprise. "You are not her student, nor the student of any other professor at Hogwarts. The task of assigning your punishments belongs to me and me alone."

_Lucky me…_thought Kerri.

Snape saw her wince again. "I would consider myself lucky if I were you, Miss Harper. Dolores has a particularly sadistic streak. My detentions, at least, do not leave the student permanently harmed. That isn't to say that they are not…unpleasant. I'll convince her that our potion brewing sessions are your detention. The fact that they will last for more than a month should be enough to appease her."

"Um…Thank you?"

"Your gratitude is overwhelming, Miss Harper."

Kerri laced her fingers together and looked suddenly uncertain. "Um…Professor, if I could ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"While I was teaching your classes, I had another run-in with Draco Malfoy. Um…he said something that seemed to indicate that there was something wrong. Do you know-"

"I'm afraid that that is none of your business. It is something that will remain between him and me as student and Head of House. You will know if and only if he ever elects to tell you." _At approximately the same time Hell freezes over._ he added mentally.

"Oh."

The whistle announcing the arrival of the train back to Hogwarts sounded. Snape stood. "You had best bid farewell to your new friend. I'll need to go make sure we don't leave anyone behind, for all the loss that would be."

And students began exiting the Three Broomsticks, cold air begin to waft in. Kerri shivered again. The sun was going down, and the air was really beginning to have a bite to it. She rubbed her arms rapidly, hoping that the train would be nice and warm. Suddenly, a heavy warmth enveloped her. Reaching around herself, she found the black hem of a cloak on her shoulders. She glanced over at Snape to see him regarding her with mild annoyance. The faint spicy scent of potion ingredients invaded her nose, and she realized in shock that it was _his_ cloak. Protesting, she tried to give it back.

Brow furrowed, he merely plopped it straight back onto her shoulders. "_I_ have the magical ability to transfigure myself a replacement. _You_ do not. You _will_, however, return it to me the instant we get back to Hogwarts because I know it will become one great mass of cat hair otherwise"

She stammered out her thanks, which he waved off, frowning. "Go get on the train, Miss Harper," he instructed. "Now. I haven't the patience to herd you there along with the rest." As he stalked off, the others joined her, looking at the cloak in surprise.

Kerri just shook her head, bewildered as they. "I honestly don't know what to make of that man sometimes."


	23. Chapter 23

I'm still getting used to the new setup of hence the lack of my usual indenations and different pagebreaks. I also will not be giving up on this fic, no matter what it may look like. I'm still writing and still updating, albeit slowly, due to some real life difficulties. I'm sorry that it takes so long and I'm sorry that I have to say I'm sorry every chapter. I'll try to do better, I promise!  
(Oh, and to answer a review I recieved: Yes, this takes place during the fifth book. However, I started writing it before the fifth book came out so there are a few error in the earlier chapters. Namely Hagrid being at Hogwarts, but I liked that scene too much to take it out.)  
Oh, and if anyone cares, I've received my very first flame! It even rhymes! I'm so proud! (Check my reviews for the anonymous flamer. Hehe.)

* * *

_"Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf."--Charlotte Gray_

_Kerri,_

_Gosh, it feels strange to be writing this. I haven't really written to anyone since I was in school. Oh, I suppose you can count birthday and Christmas cards and such as writing, but they aren't really chatty letters, you know what I mean?_

_Now I've gone and totally lost the topic. Sorry about that. I just wanted to say that it was awfully nice to meet you, and I hope that you'll be coming back to Hogsmeade next weekend. I can give you a better tour of the village. Do you know how to skate? There's an awfully pretty pond out a ways from the main street. _

_Well, hope to see you then. My address is on the envelope._

_-Dillon_

Kerri read the letter again as she packed up her satchel. It was odd, she thought. She should be happier to have someone writing to her. The whole thing still made her feel guilty, though. Well, she'd send him a note back and ask him if she could invite her friends along. It wouldn't seem so…so… She shook her head. _So much like a date._

Fizz hopped down from her spot on the wardrobe and sniffed at the letter. Kerri quickly yanked it out of her reach. The little cat liked paper. She especially liked it ripped up in little pieces all over the floor. Kerri had had to hunt down Hermione to fix the essays she had left on her desk the morning before, claiming her wand was on the fritz. She folded the letter and stuck in in her satchel to keep it in one piece before scooping up the cat.

"So what do you think, little girl cat?" she asked, scratching Fizz behind the ears. Fizz purred and sank her claws into Kerri's arm. The girl winced, still trying to get used to the ways her new cat showed affection. "Do you think I ought to lead him on until I make up my mind?"

"Mrrpt." said the cat, cocking her head to the side.

"He's a nice boy, I suppose." Kerri continued. "Brown hair, green eyes, taller then me, but not quite so tall as Professor Snape." She paused and considered. "Perhaps not. I'm not sure. Maybe Professor Snape just _seems_ taller. Anyway, it doesn't matter. His height is the least of my worries. I've only ever talked to him once, though, and to hear Hermione go on about it, you'd think I was considering marriage!"

A meow from the other side of the room caught her attention. She glanced over as Willow meowed again, then nudged the clock with his nose. She smiled slightly. "You know, Willow, you're right. I ought to drop in on the class before it's over." She gave Fizz a boost back onto the wardrobe and slung the satchel over her shoulder.

Stopping at the door on her way out, she looked back and called, "Now you behave yourselves, I'll be back late tonight."

"Meh."

"Well, thanks. I love you all too." She shut the door behind her.

* * *

Snape was in a foul mood. Again. As usual. His week-long break from classes had done nothing to improve his outlook on life and in particular, his outlook on his classes. When Kerri stuck her head into the room, he was in the middle of a rather spectacular tirade that called into question the apparently dubious intelligence of the entire fourth-year class. He'd already managed to reduce half of them to tears. 

"-Apparently, none of you have even seen the inside of a _cauldron_, much less a well-made and successful potion-"

Quietly, Kerri slid into the classroom and closed the door behind her. She made her way over to the corner she had reserved for herself and began to unpack her potion-making tools. As she carefully laid them out she listened, with some amusement, to Snape. She wondered vaguely when he would realize that she was there and what would happen when he did.

"-Could any of you tell me the ingredients of a Pepper-up potion? No, I thought not.-"

Lilith slid out from behind a shelf and jumped up on the desk that Kerri was using. The girl petted her gently in greeting and whispered, "So how long has he been at it?"

-_Oh, well into ten minutes now. The vacation must have done him good._-

"-Do any of you even bother to look at a book outside of class? For that matter, do any of you bother to look at the _board_ inside of class?-"

"He is in rare form, isn't he?" Kerri murmured. She rested her chin on her hand as she examined the dark-haired man in front of her. He waved his hands to punctuate his sentences, dark eyes flashing, robes swirling around him. As she watched, she realized something. "It frustrates him that they don't live up to his expectations, doesn't it? I mean, I only taught his classes for a week, and I was this close to throttling half of them. He's been doing this every day for-" Pausing, she did some mental calculations and blinked at the result she got. "-for as long as I've been alive. I don't think I could manage it, even if my students loved me. They _hate_ him, even the Slytherins fear him, for Merlin's sake. But he teaches them anyway because he hopes that at least one of them will see the beauty of potions. And it infuriates him that they don't. It's so obvious to him, and they never see it. He's a brilliant man." She thought over this statement. "An utter bastard, but brilliant."

Lilith yawned, showing all of her fangs, before looking at the girl oddly. -_Caught on at last, did you? Must be from hanging around your cats. Some of their intuition must have rubbed off on you.-_

"-Dunderheads! Bloody dense dunderheads! The instructions are right in front of you, but no-"

"He normally doesn't bother to raise his voice though. What set him off so badly?"

-_It was probably the third question about step number five. I think you went and spoiled them.-_ Lilith gave a feline shrug, a process that seemed to involve her entire spine. -_He expects them to remember everything that he's ever taught them about potion brewing. He just doesn't seem to realize that you, he, and Hermione are probably the only ones who could do that.-_

"Me? Hardly. The only reason I can remember what I can is because I don't have to remember five hundred other incantations along with the potion-brewing instructions. I forget other stuff all the time."

-_No, I've watched you shelving things. I bet that you could find anything in the storeroom straight away, even if you closed your eyes. You only forget the other things because you don't find them as important.-_

"Nonsense." Even as she said it, though, she realized that she could easily picture the entire potions classroom and stores in her mind. She remembered the lessons of the Aurors from years ago word for word. She scowled down at the desk…and then at her satchel…then back at the desk. And dammed if she could remember where she put her quill.

"-Merlin's bones! Could any of you be more unwilling to listen?" Snape paused, finally noticing the new presence behind him. He slowly turned around and glared furiously at Kerri and Lilith. Some inner demon possessed her and, in a brief moment of near-suicidal giddiness, the girl grinned cheekily and waved. She could literally hear the students' jaws drop and Snape's teeth grind together.

"Miss Harper…" The man's voice held the promise of instant death next time he got her alone. "What are you doing here? Have you finally completely taken leave of your senses?"

"I didn't want to be late for my detention, Professor." she answered promptly.

"And so, you decided to show up three hours early." The threatened instant death had now evolved into an extremely long, slow, painful one.

_I'm going to regret this, I really am, but I can't help it…_ "I didn't want to miss the entertainment, sir."

That did it. Snape's brows snapped together and he thundered, "_Get in the back and organize your ingredients before I chop you up and feed you to the threstrals!_"

She jumped up, grabbed Lilith, and with one hand over her mouth to stifle the laughter that was threatening to erupt, dove into the safety of the storerooms.

Snape took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes, but the momentum had gone. "Hell with it." he muttered, before raising his head and barking, "Five points from everyone! Now get back to your potions!" He watched, gratified, as they almost fell over themselves in the hurry to get to their cauldrons. He glared in their direction for a while to be certain that they were doing their jobs before stalking toward the storerooms.

Inside he found Kerri with her arms full of jars, laughing merrily with Lilith. He suddenly realized that this was the first time he had ever seen the girl smile, let alone laugh. It was almost astonishing to see how much her pale, pinched face changed. The tension around her eyes lessened, she didn't hold herself quite so tightly, the near-constant look of fear in her eyes vanished. _She almost looks like a normal girl_, he thought, leaning against the doorjamb, silently watching girl and cat talk.

"I know that I'm going to pay for that, Lilith, but I just couldn't help it! The look on those children's faces…" she dissolved into giggles again.

-_Forget the look on their faces,-_ mewed Lilith, -_The look on his was just priceless! He's not going to be happy with you though.-_

"Oh, when is he ever?" Kerri laid out the bottles on the desk and took down a scale off of the shelf next to her. She carefully began to measure out the ingredients that she and Snape would need for the first stage of the potion, placing each one on a slip of paper or in a small, glass dish. These she placed on a tray that was spelled to keep them from sliding around. She then weighed the bottles and jars that she had taken the ingredients from and made a precise note on each label. One always had to be certain of the amount of ingredient they had left, especially in places like Hogwarts, where potions were brewed for the Hospital wing. You didn't want to me in desperate need for healing salve and discover you were short of willow bark. "At least I'll have gotten some amusement out of his displeasure this way."

As she was returning the jars to their proper places, Lilith suddenly interrupted her. -_Want to try something interesting?_- she inquired, tail swishing.

"Interesting?" Kerri was instantly wary. Lilith was, after all, a cat.

-_Yes. I would like to see if you know this place as well as I think you do.-_ She folded her paws underneath herself and looked pleased. -_If you can return all of the bottles to the correct places, with your eyes closed, you win._-

"Win what?"

A feline shrug. -_Oh, something I'm sure. I'll think on that.-_

It only took a moment's thought to decide. She knew that the prize would probably be something like being allowed to brush Lilith for a week, but she was intrigued and wanted to know the limits of her memories as well. "All right, you're on." Closing her eyes, Kerri reached for the first bottle.

No longer furious, Snape couldn't decide if he was amused or horrified. The image of Kerri making a fool of herself and the image of her shattering months of hard work with a careless trip warred in his mind. He was just about to stride up to her and snatch the bottle from her hand when she placed it directly in the empty spot it had once occupied. She returned to the table and did the same with the next. And the next.

He shook his head disbelievingly as the girl who forgot quills, books, times, and proper behavior quickly returned every bottle to its original home, eyes squeezed tightly shut the whole time. Finished, she turned triumphantly to Lilith, beaming proudly, like a small child who had just been praised about her clean room.

-_Hmmm…well done. One last thing though. I want you to close your eyes again.-_ Kerri sighed but obeyed. -_Now, I'm going to name a few things. I want you to go touch them as I do._-

Kerri sighed again. "Is this really necessary? I mean, I've already won the bet, or challenge, or whatever you call it. I'll admit that you were right."

The cat ignored her and commanded, _-Poisons' shelf.-_

Kerri took a step to the right and rested her fingers on it.

-_Good. Lacewings.- _Her hand floated backward a few inches and caressed the jar.

_-Now, spare cauldrons.- _Three steps to the left and one forward.

The cat turned to look at Snape and wriggled her whiskers mischievously. -_Door.­-_

Snape's eyebrows shot up. That's what the cat was up to! He stepped forward and opened his mouth to reprimand Lilith, just as Kerri, eyes still shut, took a step to the side. Straight into him. She lost her balance and staggered, and he was forced to grab her to keep her from sending both of them headlong into one of the shelves. Her eyes flew open in her surprise at finding something new in the storerooms and then widened in shock when she realized what it was.

She looked up and whispered, "Oh, hell. You're going to kill me."

"Possibly, Miss Harper. Quite possibly. The threstrals _are_ still hungry, I believe. Your chances would be far greater if you had dropped any of those jars, however. I suggest you not tempt fate again. And Lilith," he rounded on the cat, "dare I even ask why you risked my potion stores for your own personal amusement?"

The cat sniffed at him before turning to furiously wash her tail, a sure sign she wanted to change the subject.

"Liliiiith…" he rumbled ominously.

"Um…Professor?" came a weak voice. "Do you think you could let go of me?"

He glared down at her. "Do you think you can refrain from playing games with the ingredients?"

She nodded and he let go of her. She stumbled backwards, cheeks burning. Her mouth worked for a few moments as she thought desperately for an excuse and finally settled on pointing at the cat. "It was all her idea, sir."

The corner of his mouth twitched and he said, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds?"

"No offense, sir, but you've obviously never gotten away with something by blaming it on the cat."

"I've never been so unfortunate as to have quite so many to blame as you, Miss Harper." he gestured at the cat hair on her skirts.

"I suppose that depends on your point of view." she retorted, but with no venom in her voice.

It wasn't quite civil, but it wasn't quite an argument, either, Snape reflected. With some luck they'd both be alive and she wouldn't be sobbing her eyes out at the end of their first true brewing session. It would indeed be profitable to keep her in this defensive, but slightly cheery mood. "I suppose." he conceded.

"You're actually letting me win an argument?" Kerri sounded surprised.

Smirking, the man pointed at Lilith, who was still washing, "I think it could possibly be hazardous to my heath if I argued with you about cats at the moment."

Kerri glanced over her shoulder and smiled slightly. "I think you may be right, sir." She looked past him and then at her watch. "Professor, shouldn't class be over soon?"

He sighed. "I had better go see if any of them blew themselves up whilst they were unsupervised. I haven't heard any screams or earth-shaking explosions, so they may surprisingly be still in one piece." He turned to leave, then called back, "The trick with the ingredient jars was amusing, if not impressive. But if you _ever _try that ever again without permission, I _will_ feed you to one of Hagrid's pets. Now set up the cauldron and try not to drop it on your foot."

As the storeroom door shut behind him, Kerri turned to Lilith and asked, "One of Hagrid's pets? He has more than just Fang?"

-_Oh yes,-_ the cat looked amused. _-Did I ever tell you about the giant, three-headed dog?-_

Kerri shuddered.

* * *

_Amazing._ Snape stared at the girl out of the corner of his eye as he stripped the vane of a jobberknoll feather from its shaft. _Not only has she kept the same personality for one whole hour, it's a pleasant one as well. She's actually smiling and-_ He paused and listened for a moment, _-humming? Good lord, call a priest. The girl's been possessed._

Oblivious to Snape's thoughts, Kerri was carefully stirring the cauldron in front of her. _…Five, six, seven…_ She felt herself lulled by the gentle swishing of the potion. …_Nine, ten, eleven…_ Two more strokes and a shadow fell over her shoulder. She watched in poorly-concealed admiration as sliced lotus root flew from Snape's hand into the gleaming liquid, barely disturbing the surface. _Why can't I do that? The only thing I've ever really done, and compared to him, I may as well be a first-year. Why can't I…?_ "Professor Snape?" she heard herself ask suddenly, "H-how long, I mean, how many years did it take you to become a Potions Master?"

The piercing look he sent her way made her duck her head and blush, sorry that she had asked the question. Then, to her surprise, he put down the knife he was using and looked thoughtful. "I was officially named a Potions Master when I joined the Hogwarts faculty." He smirked. "I was, however, at Potions master level by the time I hit sixth year."

_And you're modest too, but not so much that it shows. _Kerri thought to herself, amused. No false modesty from this man. He didn't need it.

He picked up the knife again and returned his attention to the feathers. After a few moments, he felt her eyes on him and he turned around once more. "Yes?"

"Do I…could I…is there a chance that I would ever…?" She gave him what was possibly the most pathetic look he had ever seen from anyone, and, being the owner of a cat, that was saying a lot. "I want to become a Potions Mistress more than anything else in the world, but watching you…" She trailed off and waved her hands hopelessly at his perfectly sliced piles of ingredients. "Am I anywhere near? Do I even stand a chance at becoming one?"

"Of course you stand a chance at becoming one, girl. Even Longbottom could become one if he'd simply worked hard enough."

"That's not exactly the type of answer I was looking for." she said crossly.

"You're closer than Longbottom is. Keep stirring."

Kerri rolled her eyes and obeyed, deciding that that was all the praise she was getting out of him without the aid of forceps. After a few more strokes, she sensed that Snape was still looking at her. "Yes, Professor?"

"Perhaps, Miss Harper, we could put our differences aside for a while?" Snape watched Kerri's face carefully, looking for any sign that she was going to blow up at him. He tried to make his voice, well, if not kind, then at least less harsh. "I see that you enjoy brewing potions as much as I do, not just because they work without the brewer having extreme magical ability, but for the sheer joy of creating them. Today's events have shown me that we can at least be in the same room without going for each other's throats." Sweet Merlin, the girl was actually listening. "I'm not promising that our time together will be pleasant, but at the very least, we can refrain from being overly hostile." He set down his knife and proffered a hand. "Truce?"

Kerri stared at his hand for a moment, then stepped forward and took it, feeling the dry skin of his palm against hers. She looked up at him and smiled slightly. "Truce."

* * *

"How did the detention with Miss Harper go yesterday, Severus?" Dumbledore smiled at Snape's scowl. "I understand you convinced Dolores to let you discipline her?" 

"I thought it best, considering her reaction to blood." The younger man answered dryly, as he stirred his tea. Placing his spoon back on the table of the teacher's lounge, he added, "We've managed to reach a truce of sorts."

"Very good! I'm proud of you, boy." The headmaster beamed and patted Snape on the shoulder. "I won't have to keep Poppy on alert anymore."

"For me or for her?"

"Either. The faculty had a pool going to see which of you put the other in the hospital first, actually. After the second time she managed to put herself in it though, we decided to call it off."

"Oh really. Were you betting on me or her, Albus?" Snape glared at the older man's grin.

"Would you like some milk or sugar with your tea, Severus?" Dumbledore waved a sugar cube in his direction. When Snape shook his head, he shrugged and popped it into his mouth. "So, a truce, eh?" he asked, happily crunching away. "Always a good thing, I think."

"Perhaps not in this case," an annoyingly girlish voice intruded suddenly on their conversation. "Are you sure it's wise to let _those_ two form any kind of alliance, Headmaster?"

Snape gritted his teeth. "What do you mean by that, Dolores?"

Umbridge ignored him completely and added, "Perhaps it would be best if separated them completely, Dumbledore. You don't want to be accused of letting people like that plot behind your back. The Ministry-"

"I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea of what you are talking about, Dolores." Dumbledore interrupted. "Sugar cube?"

The toadish woman glared at him and waddled off in a fury. Confused and angry, Snape turned to Dumbledore. "What was she going on about there, Albus?"

"Are you sure you don't want some sugar, my boy? Might sweeten your disposition a bit. All that black tea can't agree with your constitution. No? Oh, very well. Perhaps I can talk Minerva into some."

Snape couldn't help but notice that the headmaster looked slightly worried as he wandered off.


	24. Chapter 24

_A cat is there when you call her - if she doesn't have something better to do.- Bill Adler_

"Skating? You're going skating! Have you forgotten that there is a potion to brew?"

"W-E-E-K-E-N-D, Professor. You know, a relaxing, two-day break from classes? Saturday and Sunday?"

"It's reassuring to know that you can both spell and name days of the week, but I fail to see how this applies to the topic at hand."

"Excuse me, Severus…"

"_What!_" Both Kerri and Snape rounded on the Headmaster who jumped a bit despite himself.

"I think that it's wonderful that Miss Harper is going with the students to Hogsmeade. Let her go out and have some fun."

"She doesn't need fun. She needs to stir a potion that she has already started brewing."

"Severus, you can't keep her cooped up in the dungeons all the time!"

"Why not?"

Dumbledore gave him a look, and Snape sighed. "Fine, fine. But," he turned to Kerri, "if the potion is ruined because of this, you are responsible for all ingredients lost. And for Merlin's sake take this." he shoved his cloak into her hands. "You'll freeze solid out there without something, and I don't want to explain to the Aurors why I'm returning their ward to them as an ice cube."

"Thank you, Headmaster!" Kerri beamed and ran out of the teacher's lounge. The two men heard her call out, "I can come! I got permission!"

"Why, you're most welcome for the cloak, Miss Harper. No need to thank me." Snape's voice dropped to a growl. "Obviously."

"Oh, hush, Severus. She was excited. But it was very nice of you to lend her your cloak. She has a lovely smile, doesn't she?"

Snape grumbled and threw himself into one of the chairs by the fire. The Headmaster carefully seated himself in the other and pulled a bag of lemon drops from somewhere in his robes. He popped one in his mouth and began sucking happily. Snape rolled his eyes.

After a few minutes of sitting and sulking and sucking, Snape jumped back up and began pacing the room like a caged jaguar. Dumbledore watched as he stalked his way from the chair to the window and back again.

"Lemondrop?"

"No."

A few more minutes of pacing.

"Tea?"

"No!"

The carpet was definitely beginning to look worse for the wear.

"New Potions assistant?"

The look on Snape's face could have curdled water. For several miles. In all directions. After several moments of clenching and unclenching his fists, he growled out, "Do you have one that follows directions, doesn't talk back, and doesn't go gallivanting off just because Potter and his friends are?"

"Do you want her return to the quiet, subservient little girl she was when she came here?" Snape's face cleared somewhat, and he glanced out the window at the retreating students. Dumbledore leaned forward and continued. "You realize, she's made remarkable progress in the last few months, and most of that is thanks to you."

"What? Albus, I've done nothing-"

"No, you have. You've pushed her and made her face things that she didn't want to face before. You've started to pull her out of the prison she was creating in her own head, just by not letting her retreat to it whenever things got difficult." Dumbledore rested his chin in his hand and blew a sigh through his beard. "Now if we can just keep her out." he said softly, almost to himself.

Snape leant back against the window frame, a tall, imposing, silhouette, his face in shadow. "She changed because she found out what I really am." he chuckled bitterly. "Hate is a powerful emotion isn't it?"

"Hmm." The headmaster made a non-committal noise as he popped yet another candy into his mouth.

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"You've _never_ been skating? Ever?" Dillon goggled at her incredulously. "Never ever?"

Kerri hung her head and fidgeted with embarrassment. Despite her best effort to get Hermione, Ginny, or even one of the boys to come along with her, she'd ended up out on the pond all by herself. She'd of course lost the letter he had sent her, so she had no idea where the pond even was, and she was too terrified to ask for directions.

Once she'd gotten there and somewhat over the fact she was alone with a strange, if nice, man, it hadn't been so bad. Then she realized that she actually had no idea how to skate. "Well…when I was little, I-I never really had the chance. I-I mean, I was never anywhere near a pond, and-"

"Ah." chuckled Dillon. "A city girl, huh?"

She smiled back, relieved that she didn't have to outright lie to him. "Something like that, yes."

"Well, I'll just hafta teach you then!" he announced. "Stay right there, I think one of my sisters left her skates here when she went off to school, she's 'bout your size…" He ran off as Kerri settled down on a bench beside the pond, pulling Snape's cloak around her. As much as she hated to admit it, the familiar scent of the cloak had done much to calm her nerves today. She ran her fingers over the edge and was somewhat surprised to note that it was embroidered.

"Black thread on black wool," she muttered. "Now really, what's the point in that? I like dark colors as much as the next girl, but he takes it to the extreme."

The sound of feet crunching across snow caught her attention and she looked up to see Dillon hurrying back towards her, a pair of skates dangling from his hand. Beaming, he handed them to her.

She took them, examined them closely, and then looked back up at him. "How do I put them on?"

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"You sure she'll be fine on her own?"

"I'm _positive_, Ron. Now do stop fretting, you sound like a mother hen." Hermione set her butterbeer down with a thud. "Last time I checked, Hufflepuffs don't bite."

"If you say so-"

"-Can't be too sure, though-"

"-Some of them can be pretty nasty." Fred tapped Susan Bones on the shoulder and asked, all innocence, "Say, do Hufflepuffs bite?"

It took fifteen minutes to charm all the butterbeer out of his sweater.

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"How long are they going to be gone?" Snape muttered, still standing at the window. "If the potion is ruined because of this, I'm going to hang that girl by her thumbs!"

McGonagall glanced at him over the top of her glasses. "You know, Severus, you _could_ just go stir it yourself."

He glared at her. "That's not the point. The point is, she started a project and now, is not around to continue it."

"You could be a little more grateful after what she did for you. If it wasn't for her, th-" Snape hissed softly between his teeth and shot an almost imperceptible glance at the open door of the lounge. McGonagall caught herself and continued smoothly, "-ose centaurs may have hurt you badly. What were you thinking, gathering ingredients near one of their stargazing spots?"

Snape rolled his eyes, half at the lie and half at the suggestion that he be grateful to Kerri. McGonagall moved closer to him and said under her breath, "I don't know how much of our conversation you overheard that day, but she blames herself for what happened to you."

He stared coldly at her for a moment then said, "Why should I care?"

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Draco kicked viciously at a drift along the side of the road. That girl. That little _bitch_. Nearly two weeks later, and her question still infuriated him. How _dare_ she, in front of the entire class!

Just as suddenly as it had come on, his fury was spent and he slumped against a wall, digging his hands into his pockets. What did it matter, anyway, he thought. No. It was his duty as a pure-blooded Slytherin to-to… What did it _matter_?

What did it all boil down to anyway? Another sleepless night for his family? Another day of bowing and scraping in front of _him_?

The anger boiled up again and he slammed his fist into the brick wall behind him, feeling the skin grate off his knuckles, welcoming the pain as a distraction. Hearing, even as he felt blood run down his fingers, his father's voice in his head. _Control, Draco. No matter what else, never let them take your pride. Never let them see you lose control._

And she had seen him. Not in a moment of anger, oh no. The anger he didn't mind showing at all. She had seen him in a moment of weakness, which was infinitely worse. He lifted his hand to his face, licking the blood off as he reflected. He should talk to Snape. He'd spent far more time with this infuriating girl than he could ever bear to. Surely he had an insight into her, some kind of control over _her_.

He wondered briefly if she disconcerted Snape as much as she had him, but dismissed the thought as ridiculous. The man had more strength than any other he had met. He had no cracks to gain a foothold in, no weakness like he did. His façade was flawless, made impenetrable by years of practice. It would take far more than an unfortunate, if probing, question from a young girl for him to break. Once again, he cursed his mistake.

A noise in the alley behind him made him flatten himself against the wall. Peering around the corner, he could see a small pond beyond the other end. His lip curled as he recognized one of the figures on it. The figures in the alley, however… His eyebrows rose. He recognized them too, from distinctly different company. And he was fairly certain that they were not supposed to be here.

Moving silently back to the front of the wall, he tapped his bruised knuckles against his lips. He ought to be certain. And he knew just who to tell. There was at least one person in this world he still felt loyal to.

He walked slowly away, making a little noise as possible until he was sure he was out of earshot. Then he strode, quickly and purposefully, towards The Three Broomsticks. He needed to call someone, and fast.

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"What do you suppose that nasty little ferret is up to? He went running through here like his tail was on fire."

"Ah, who cares? The important thing is-"

"-whether or not-"

"-I'll ever be able to take this sweater off. Look, I think it's permanently fused to my wrists."

"Well, it's not like you didn't ask for it."

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"Eek!" Kerri let out a shriek as her legs shot out from under her for the umpteenth time. She flailed about for a moment before getting a grip on Dillon's arm. Gasping for breath, she tried to pull herself upright only to lose her balance again. Only his arm around her waist kept her from adding to the half-a-dozen bruises she already had. "And people do this for _fun_?" she demanded.

"Well, they're usually better a' it before they do it for fun." Kerri glanced at him suspiciously, but his face was scrupulously straight. "You're holdin' your feet too straight, it's more like this. See? One, two, one, two, one-" He skated backwards, holding her hands firmly as she wobbled along. "-and two. There, see? You're getting' it! No, no, don't look down."

"I'm g-going to break my-yeeek!" Her toe caught in the ice and pitched her forward into his arms. She could feel his chest vibrating with laughter and muttered, "I think I've got a button up my nose."

"You almost had it that time, really." He smiled at her encouragingly. "Sometimes the ice just works against you. Try again, and remember t' bend your knees. That's right. Good!"

"You really think I'm doing well?" the girl asked, tearing her nervous gaze away from her feet. "You're not just saying that?"

Dillon's smile grew wider and he whispered, "Of course I mean it." He leaned towards her. One hand came up to stroke her hair. She stiffened at the touch, but he didn't notice. Before Kerri could say or do anything, she felt his lips brush gently against hers.

She made a strangled noise and tried to jump backward, only for her feet to fly out again. She ended up buried in a snowdrift, too shocked even to whimper at the cold.

"Are you all right?" asked Dillon, crouching in front of her. When she mutely shook her head, his face creased in honest worry and he stood, running his gloved hands through his hair. "I'm sorry. That was stupid of me…stupid! I don't know what came over me. Kerri, I'm awfully sorry."

He held out a hand to help her up but she shook her head again and struggled to her feet. Ignoring his continued questions about her, she wobbled over to the bench and curled up into a damp, cold ball of misery. "I'm all right," she whispered. "I'm j-just-just-I never…I'm an idiot." She rubbed at her eyes, crying despite herself. She laughed bitterly through her tears. "I don't even know why I'm crying." _Stupid! What made you think you could be normal? What made you think you'd let someone close?_

Dillon, in the time-honored male tradition of having _no_ clue what to do with a weeping female, stood helplessly in front of her. After a moment, he put two and two together. "Y'mean that was your-! Ah, no-! I though, a pretty girl like you-" He hunkered down in front of her again, peering up at her tear-stained face. "Would y'like t' slap me? I understand that's what girls do when men do somethin' stupid." She giggled wetly and he patted her hand. "If y'still want to look at me after all this, I'll take it slower from now on. I promise. We'll just be friends 'til then, okay?" Kerri nodded and he grinned, relieved.

So caught up in their own personal drama were they, Kerri and Dillon never noticed the pair in the alley.

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At some point, the annoyance of letting a potion go to waste overwhelmed the desire to teach Kerri a lesson, and Snape stormed down to the dungeons to take care of it. When he finally emerged again, the sun was setting and the students were retuning from Hogsmeade. He watched them straggle in, in groups or pairs, from his vantage point above them. Most ignored or never noticed the dark figure watching them, though some sent him quick glances before turning away. Draco gave him a particularly piercing look, and Snape found himself wondering what the blond boy was thinking.

As the last few came in through the main doors and continued on to the Great Hall for dinner, a warning bell went off in his brain. His student had not been among them. He strode down the stairs and confronted Flitwick, who had been the chaperone for this weekend's trip. The little man told him, quite cheerfully, that there hadn't been any students left on the train. No, he was quite sure, He'd even checked the luggage racks after the last time.

Snape rubbed his eyes, decided _not _to give in and ask about "the last time", and headed to the Great Hall. If she was there, fine. If she wasn't, he could bring the matter to Dumbledore's attention and leave it to _him_ to sort out. No use starving himself because she'd missed the train.

As he slid into his seat at the table, Dumbledore beckoned him over. "You didn't send Miss Harper down to work on that potion of yours during dinner, did you?" he asked.

"Hardly, the girl is scrawny enough without missing a few meals." Snape's lip curled as he glared at her empty chair. _Damnit_. He quickly explained that he hadn't seen her return with the rest of the students.

Dumbledore stroked his beard as his face creased with worry. "We'd best check this out," he finally said. "It may be nothing, and then again, she may be in grave danger. Go get Willow, Severus, and meet me in my office."

Snape stood, looking sour, and swept out of the hall. As he passed her, Umbridge smirked and whispered, "Curses, like chickens, come home to roost."

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End file.
